Music— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Be more concise and correct hesitations, use one clear topic sentence and a supporting detail with a linking word. Fix small grammar issues (e.g., remove repeated words, use correct verb forms) and avoid filler sounds. Aim for 2–3 sentences: a direct preference statement and one specific example or reason.

예시: I usually prefer happy music because it lifts my mood and gives me energy. For example, when I'm in a good mood I play upbeat pop songs to feel more energetic and motivated.

제안: Provide a clear affirmative statement, correct grammar and avoid fillers. Use a linking word to connect the effect with a concrete example. Be specific about what kind of happy music and how it changes you. Keep to 2–3 well-formed sentences.

예시: Yes, happy music makes me feel more excited because upbeat rhythms and lively melodies boost my energy. For instance, when I'm feeling down I listen to fast-tempo pop or dance tracks and I immediately feel more motivated and upbeat.

× For example, if I'm if I feel happy then I will just put on some cheerful music so it can make me feel energetic and it's kind of mood booster.

✓ For example, if I feel happy, I will put on some cheerful songs because they make me feel energetic and are kind of a mood booster.

This sentence has redundant and incorrect tense/modal use and article problems. Remove the repeated 'if I'm if I feel' and use the first conditional correctly: 'if I feel happy, I will...'. Use plural 'songs' or keep 'music' consistently. Replace 'so it can make me' with 'because they make me' to match subject number and present simple to express general effect. Add the article 'a' before 'mood booster'. Suggestion: Simplify conditional clauses, ensure subject-verb agreement (songs/they make), and include necessary articles.

× Yes, happy music can motivate me more AM It can push my mood instantly.

✓ Yes, happy music can motivate me more; it can lift my mood instantly.

The original contains an extraneous 'AM' and awkward phrasing. Use a semicolon or period to separate clauses. 'Lift my mood' is a natural collocation instead of 'push my mood'. Maintain present modal structure 'can motivate' and follow with a present simple clause 'it can lift'. Suggestion: Remove filler words, use appropriate collocations, and punctuate to separate ideas.

× For example, when I'm feeling down and I just listen to the upbeat song so very in, instantly I feel motivated.

✓ For example, when I'm feeling down and I listen to an upbeat song, I instantly feel motivated.

This sentence has extra words and incorrect connectors ('so very in') causing sentence structure issues. Use 'when... I listen' without 'just' (unless needed) and place the adverb 'instantly' before the verb phrase 'feel motivated' or after the clause. Also use 'an upbeat song' or 'upbeat songs' for natural articles and number agreement. Suggestion: Remove unnecessary fillers, correct article use, and place adverbs in standard positions.