Music— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Be more concise and avoid repetition. Start with a clear topic sentence, then give one or two specific supporting reasons using linking words. Correct minor grammar (e.g., remove extra "it's" and use consistent tense).

예시: I prefer happy music because it helps me relax and boosts my energy. For example, upbeat pop songs lift my mood after a stressful day, so I often listen to them when I need motivation.

제안: Organize your answer with a clear topic sentence and one specific example; avoid run-on sentences and unfinished thoughts. Use linking words (for example, because, so) and give a concise personal example with correct tense.

예시: Yes, happy music usually makes me feel more excited because upbeat rhythms increase my energy. For example, yesterday I played an energetic playlist while cooking, and it made me feel cheerful and motivated.

× Well, I love to listen to happy music because it helps me to unwind and makes me feel more energetic.

✓ Well, I love to listen to happy music because it helps me unwind and makes me feel more energetic.

The original sentence uses 'to unwind' after 'helps me,' which is acceptable but more natural to drop the second 'to' and use the bare infinitive 'unwind' after 'helps' plus object. This is a style/usage issue of verb patterns with 'help.' Suggestion: use 'helps me unwind' for smoother, idiomatic English.

× And I think that happy music is very important because it's sometimes lifts your mood when you are upset or feeling down.

✓ And I think that happy music is very important because it sometimes lifts your mood when you are upset or feeling down.

The original contains the redundant contraction 'it's' plus the verb 'lifts' which causes a subject-verb duplication ('it' and 'lifts'). The correct structure is 'it sometimes lifts' or simply 'sometimes lifts.' Remove 'it's' to fix the pronoun/subject construction. Suggestion: use 'it sometimes lifts'.

× Happy music makes me more excited because I love to listen to happy songs and it sometimes boosts my energy and makes me more energetic and happier and I think that yesterday I listened to.

✓ Happy music makes me more excited because I love listening to happy songs; it sometimes boosts my energy and makes me happier. Yesterday I listened to some happy songs.

The original sentence is run-on and ends abruptly with 'I think that yesterday I listened to.' Errors include awkward wording ('love to listen' vs 'love listening'), repeated ideas ('more excited', 'more energetic', 'happier'), and an incomplete clause at the end. Fix by splitting into clear sentences, using gerund 'listening' after 'love,' removing redundancy, and completing the final thought: 'Yesterday I listened to some happy songs.' This improves clarity and grammatical completeness.