Music— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Be more concise and direct: start with a clear topic sentence stating your preference, then give one specific reason and a brief example. Avoid filler words (umm, uh) and grammatical mistakes (e.g., say “listening to sad music” and “I prefer happy music”). Limit to 2–4 sentences and use linking words like “but” or “however” correctly.

예시: I usually prefer happy music because it lifts my mood and makes me feel energetic. However, when I’m feeling very sad I sometimes choose slow, sad songs to process my emotions — for example, I listen to acoustic ballads when I want to reflect.

제안: Give a clear statement, then support it with one or two specific effects and a short example. Reduce repetition and filler sounds. Correct grammar: say “it makes me feel excited and motivated” and “when I need motivation I listen to happy music.” Use linking words like “so” or “therefore” sparingly and precisely.

예시: Yes, happy music definitely makes me feel more excited and motivated. For instance, I play upbeat pop songs before exercising or studying, which helps me concentrate and keeps my energy up.

× When I'm sad I almost cry and listening sad music.

✓ When I'm sad I almost cry and listen to sad music.

The original uses 'listening' incorrectly after 'and' with the parallel verb 'cry'. Use the base verb 'listen' to maintain parallel structure and add the preposition 'to' which is required with 'listen'. Improve by maintaining parallel verbs: 'cry and listen to'.

× But when I'm happy in a good mood, I'm uh, in adorable mood, I uh, prefer a happy music.

✓ But when I'm happy and in a good mood, I'm in an adorable mood, I prefer happy music.

'a happy music' is incorrect because 'music' is an uncountable noun and does not take the indefinite article 'a'. Also 'in adorable mood' needs an article 'an' if kept, but 'in an adorable mood' or simply 'in an adorable mood' works. Removed extra 'a' before 'happy music' and smoothed phrasing.

× Absolutely, 'cause when I'm uh, listening happy music and also my favorite music, uh, I could feel, uh, very motivated and very, very happy.

✓ Absolutely, because when I'm listening to happy music, especially my favorite songs, I feel very motivated and very, very happy.

'Listening happy music' needs the preposition 'to' after 'listening'. Also 'could feel' is awkward for a general present reaction; use simple present 'feel'. Replaced 'my favorite music' with 'my favorite songs' for naturalness but kept meaning.

× So, uh, when I do something when I need motivated and uh, good mood, I uh, listen a happy music.

✓ So, when I need motivation and a good mood, I listen to happy music.

Multiple issues: 'listen a happy music' is incorrect — 'listen to' is required and 'music' is uncountable so no 'a'. 'Need motivated' is incorrect; use the noun 'motivation' or adjective with 'to be' (need to be motivated). Simplified to 'need motivation and a good mood' for clarity.