Music— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Be more concise and fluent. Start with a clear topic sentence, avoid fillers and repetition, and correct minor grammar (e.g., "the another one" → "the other"). Keep it to 2–3 sentences and add a brief reason to enrich the answer. Use linking words like "because" or "so" to connect ideas.

예시: I prefer both sad and happy music. If I'm happy, I usually choose upbeat, happy songs to match my mood, but when I'm feeling down I listen to sad music because it helps me process my emotions.

제안: Improve grammatical accuracy and reduce hesitations. Give a clear topic sentence, then support it with a specific reason and an example. Use linking words such as "because" and "for example". Replace vague phrases with concrete descriptions (e.g., "people want to sing or dance"). Limit to 2–3 sentences for clarity.

예시: Yes, happy music usually makes me feel more energetic because its fast tempo and cheerful lyrics lift my mood. For example, when I hear pop songs with a strong beat I often start singing along or dancing, which makes me feel more excited.

× If I am uh happy, I I want to listen uh, happy one.

✓ If I am happy, I want to listen to happy music.

Missing preposition and incorrect noun form. 'Listen' requires the preposition 'to' when followed by what you hear. 'Happy one' is vague; use 'happy music' to match meaning. Keep simple present tense for habitual preference.

× If I am sad, I will choose the another one.

✓ If I am sad, I will choose the other one.

'The another' is incorrect in English. Use 'the other one' to refer to the second of two alternatives, or simply 'the other' or 'another' (without 'the') depending on meaning. Here 'the other one' fits the contrast with 'happy'.

× So I I prefer sad and happy music.

✓ So I prefer both sad and happy music.

Redundant filler 'I I' removed and clearer structure used. Adding 'both' clarifies that the speaker likes two types; keeps present simple for general preference.

× In my opinion, happy music is uh, make uh, people uh, feel happier, uh, because uh, when, when, uh, when they listen this kind of music, they will try to say or try to dance.

✓ In my opinion, happy music makes people feel happier, because when they listen to this kind of music, they may sing or try to dance.

Several issues: 'is make' is ungrammatical—use 'makes' (third person singular present). 'Listen' requires preposition 'to'. 'Try to say' is incorrect — 'sing' is the intended verb. Use 'may' or 'might' instead of 'will' for likely reactions; 'makes' is present simple for general truth. Remove disfluencies.

× So uh, they will be more exciting, excited.

✓ So they will be more excited.

Confusion between adjective 'excited' (feeling) and 'exciting' (causing excitement). The people feel excited, so use 'excited'. Also 'more excited' compares emotional intensity correctly. Use simpler verb 'will be' or 'are' depending on intended meaning; 'will be' is acceptable for typical result.