Tidiness— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Be more concise and coherent. Start with a clear topic sentence, then add one or two specific supporting details using linking words. Avoid unclear phrases (e.g., “Madrid taught me to always fix my head”) and incorrect tense or word forms. Focus on correct sentence boundaries and natural collocations (e.g., “keep my desk tidy”, “good habit”).

예시: Yes, I enjoy keeping my things tidy because it helps me feel calm and focused. For example, I keep my desk and drawer well organized, so I can find things quickly and work without distractions.

제안: Answer directly then give one specific example. Correct grammar (past habits: ‘I used to’, ‘my mother taught me’) and avoid run-on sentences. Use linking words like ‘because’ or ‘so’ to connect reason and result. Clarify confusing phrases such as “I always keep it and throw it.”

예시: Yes, I used to keep my room tidy because my mother taught me to put things away. For example, I would always pick up toys and throw away any trash so I could study more easily and feel comfortable in my room.

제안: Give a clear method and one specific routine. Use correct verb forms and nouns (e.g., ‘put them in their places’, ‘pencils’). Avoid fragmented sentences and unclear comparisons. Use linking words like ‘for example’ or ‘so’ to structure your answer.

예시: As a teacher, I keep my workspace tidy by returning items to their places after class. For example, I put books on the shelf and store pens in a holder, so my desk stays clear and I can prepare lessons without distraction.

제안: State your opinion clearly and give one concrete reason with an example. Avoid repetition and awkward phrasing (e.g., “attract a visitor”). Use linking words like ‘because’ or ‘therefore’ and correct collocations such as ‘good discipline’ or ‘good impression’.

예시: Yes, I think being tidy is necessary because it shows good discipline and creates a positive impression on visitors. For instance, when students come to my classroom and see a neat environment, they feel more respectful and ready to learn.

× Yes, I really love keeping my things tidy because it is really comfortable and peaceful.

✓ Yes, I really love keeping my things tidy because it is comfortable and peaceful.

The original sentence overuses 'really' causing redundancy. This is a style issue within present tense usage; reducing repetition improves clarity. Suggestion: remove one 'really' to make the sentence concise.

× When I saw my things well organized and clean, especially my desk and my drawer.

✓ When I see my things well organized and clean, especially my desk and drawer, I feel better.

The original is a sentence fragment and mixes past 'saw' with general habit. Use present simple 'see' for habitual statement and add a main clause so the sentence is complete. Suggestion: change to present tense and add result clause.

× I always organize it to make it comfortable to live and when I was a child.

✓ I always organize them to make my space comfortable, and I have done this since I was a child.

The original has incorrect pronoun 'it' for plural 'things', awkward phrase 'comfortable to live', and tense mismatch. Use plural 'them', clearer expression 'comfortable', and show duration with 'have done this since I was a child'.

× Madrid taught me to always fix my head and I think it is a good habit to make a good discipline and behavior.

✓ My mother taught me to always be tidy, and I think it is a good habit that builds discipline and good behavior.

The original 'Madrid' is likely a wrong word; probably 'my mother'. 'Fix my head' is incorrect literal translation. Replace with 'be tidy'. Also adjust nouns: 'make a good discipline' is unnatural; use 'builds discipline and good behavior'. Suggestion: use correct subject and natural collocations.

× Yes, since I was a kid my mother taught me to fix my things specially to my room and when I grew up I always learn my mother's advice and when I have a unnecessary.

✓ Yes, since I was a kid my mother taught me to tidy my things, especially in my room, and as I grew up I always followed my mother's advice.

Errors include 'specially' -> 'especially', wrong structure 'fix my things to my room', tense and verb form 'I always learn' should be past 'followed' for a past habit begun in childhood. Remove the fragment 'when I have a unnecessary.' Suggestion: rephrase to convey continuous habit from childhood to adulthood.

× Trash, I always keep it and throw it because I really love seeing my things tidy, I can concentrate better and I feel more comfortable to live.

✓ If there is trash, I always collect it and throw it away because I love seeing my things tidy; I can concentrate better and feel more comfortable.

Original has punctuation issues, awkward 'keep it and throw it', and 'comfortable to live' phrasing. Use conditional 'If there is trash', correct verbs 'collect' and 'throw away', and join clauses with proper punctuation. Suggestion: split into clearer clauses and use natural verb phrases.

× Well since I'm a teacher, I always organize my things when I get it to their place, such as books or pencil, I always pack it in their original place.

✓ Well, since I'm a teacher, I always organize my things by putting them in their places, such as books or pencils; I always return them to their original spots.

Errors: 'get it to their place' is ungrammatical, 'pencil' should be plural 'pencils', and pronoun agreement is wrong. Use present simple for habitual action and natural verbs 'put/return'. Suggestion: use plural nouns and consistent pronouns.

× I always organize my things and I don't want to see a messy or.

✓ I always organize my things and I don't want to see a mess or clutter.

Original uses 'a messy' (adjective) where a noun is required. Replace with noun 'a mess' or 'clutter'. Suggestion: use the correct noun form after 'see'.

× A lot of people crash because it makes me feel comfortable and relaxed when I saw my things tied.

✓ Seeing my things tidy makes me feel comfortable and relaxed; many people feel the same.

Original is confusing: 'A lot of people crash' is wrong word choice, tense 'saw' incorrect, 'tied' should be 'tidy'. Rephrase to express idea clearly: first state personal feeling, then generalize. Suggestion: use 'tidy' as adjective and correct tense.

× Yes, it is really important to become a tidy person because it is a kind of a discipline and behavior that you can attract A visitor or guest when they visit your room.

✓ Yes, it is important to be a tidy person because it shows discipline and can make your room attractive to visitors or guests.

Awkward phrasing 'become a tidy person' and 'it is a kind of a discipline and behavior that you can attract A visitor' is incorrect. Use 'shows discipline' and 'make your room attractive to visitors'. Also capitalize 'A' incorrectly. Suggestion: use natural collocations and correct article usage.

× And especially being a person, you always keep your things more clean and organized.

✓ Also, as a person who cares about neatness, you tend to keep your things cleaner and more organized.

Original 'being a person' is vague and ungrammatical. 'More clean' should be comparative 'cleaner'. Use 'tend to' to indicate habitual tendency. Suggestion: use clearer subject phrases and correct comparative form.

× And for me, since I'm a teacher, I always keep my things clean and to make me concentrate I put it together.

✓ For me, since I'm a teacher I always keep my things clean, and to help me concentrate I keep them together.

Problems: 'to make me concentrate I put it together' is awkward and uses 'it' for plural. Use 'help me concentrate' and plural pronoun 'them'. Maintain present simple for habitual actions. Suggestion: use natural linking phrase 'to help me concentrate' and correct pronoun agreement.