Tidiness— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Be more concise and coherent. Start with a clear topic sentence that answers the question directly, then add one or two specific supporting details using linking words. Avoid repetition and filler words. Focus on relevant vocabulary (e.g. "organized," "neat," "efficient") and give a short example of how you keep things tidy at work.

예시: Yes, I do. I prefer to keep my workspace neat because it helps me stay focused. For example, I organize files into labeled folders and clear my desk at the end of each day, which makes it easier to find documents and reduces stress.

제안: Answer directly and give a specific contrasting detail. Start with a clear past-tense sentence, then explain briefly why with one or two concrete examples. Reduce hesitations and correct grammar (e.g. 'children tend to be'). Use linking words like 'because' or 'because of' to make reasoning clear.

예시: No, I wasn't very tidy as a child. Children tend to be messier because they spend a lot of time playing and leave toys around. For instance, I often left books and toys on the floor after playing and rarely cleaned up without being asked.

× I love being an organized environment as well as the workplace.

✓ I love working in an organized environment as well as an organized workplace.

The original sentence uses 'being an organized environment' which incorrectly treats the speaker as the environment. Replace with 'working in an organized environment' to show the speaker's preference. Also add 'an' before 'organized workplace' for parallel structure. Use 'working in' to indicate the person's relationship to the environment.

× Also the things that I'm doing in work, like for example, Yeah.

✓ Also, the things that I do at work, for example, ...

'Things that I'm doing in work' is awkward and uses progressive where simple present fits for habitual actions. Use plural 'things' is fine but 'at work' is the correct preposition. Change 'I'm doing' to 'I do' for habitual activities and remove redundant 'like for example'. Add ellipsis or pause indicator if needed.

× No, of course, as a child, uh, children tents or kids tends to be a lot more messier than adults.

✓ No, of course, children tend to be much messier than adults.

Original has subject-verb disagreement and redundant comparative. 'Children' is plural so the verb should be 'tend' not 'tends'. 'A lot more messier' is incorrect because 'messier' already expresses comparative; use 'much messier' or 'more messy'. Also remove 'as a child, uh,' which conflicts with the subject; keep a clear subject.

× So I think being a child, it, it was in there, it was in the, it's their, in, it's in their instinct that they're not tidy or they can just run around or roam around or.

✓ So I think when children are young, it is in their instinct not to be tidy; they can just run around and roam.

The original uses unclear and incorrect pronouns and filler words ('it, it was in there, it was in the, it's their'). Replace with 'when children are young' and 'it is in their instinct' for clarity. Use 'their' consistently to refer to children. Simplify ending to 'run around and roam' and remove trailing 'or'.