Parks— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Be more concise and use correct grammar and vocabulary. Start with a clear topic sentence, avoid filler words (uh, umm), correct singular/plural and verb forms, and limit to about 2–4 sentences. Add one specific detail (a memory or activity) using a linking word to make it coherent.

예시: Yes, I loved going to parks as a child. I often played tag with my friends there, and in summer we would sit under the trees eating watermelon. Because of the shade and space, the park felt like a perfect place to relax and play.

제안: Improve grammar, sentence structure and use linking words. Begin with a clear topic sentence, then add a specific example of how you use parks now. Avoid repeating phrases like 'park' too often; use synonyms (green space, outdoors).

예시: Yes, I still enjoy going to parks, although I have less free time now. For example, I sometimes sit on a bench after work to read and watch people, which helps me relax and reduce stress.

제안: Use varied vocabulary and correct grammar; start with a clear opinion sentence then give organized reasons with linking words (for example, firstly, secondly). Be specific about activities different groups do and avoid repetition.

예시: Yes, I would like to see more parks in my city. Firstly, young people can relax and exercise there; secondly, children have safe places to play; and finally, older residents can use parks for gentle exercise and socializing.

제안: Be specific and coherent: give a clear topic sentence saying which park and why, then add one or two concrete reasons or details (what you expect to see or do). Remove fillers and correct tense and phrasing.

예시: Yes, I would like to visit Qiancheng Park because I remember its beautiful lakes and gardens. I heard it was recently renovated, so I want to see the new landscaping and try the walking paths there.

× Yes, I like going to park vibe with a child 'cause, uh, I can play with my friends at the park and umm, especially in summer, the park is a very cool place, uh, and it's a good place to play games and eating watermelon.

✓ Yes, I liked going to parks as a child because I could play with my friends at the park, and especially in summer, the park was a very nice place, and it was a good place to play games and eat watermelon.

The student mixes present and past tenses and uses informal phrasing. Change 'like' to 'liked' and 'can' to 'could' to match past time frame. 'Cool' is informal; 'nice' is more appropriate. Use the base verb 'eat' after 'place to' instead of the -ing form. Suggestion: keep consistent past tense and use base verb after 'place to'. (Grammar problem type ID:13)

× To be honest, I do not have much time to go in parks now, but I still like to do that because park is still a relaxing place where could release my stress and I like to sitting at the chair in the park and just watching the views of the park.

✓ To be honest, I do not have much time to go to parks now, but I still like to do that because the park is a relaxing place where I can release my stress, and I like sitting on a bench in the park and just watching the views.

Errors: wrong preposition 'go in parks' should be 'go to parks'; missing definite article 'the park' when speaking about parks in general as a concept; missing subject 'I' before 'could' and tense/modal mismatch — use 'can' for present ability; 'sitting at the chair' should be 'sitting on a bench' or 'a chair' and use gerund without 'to'. Also avoid repetitive 'of the park'. Suggestion: use correct prepositions, include subject for verbs, use 'the' when referring to a specific or familiar place, and use gerund forms properly. (Grammar problem type ID:22)

× Of course, I'd like to see more parks in my city because I think park is a very great place for people to gather together, not just for the young people, but also the kids and the the old.

✓ Of course, I'd like to see more parks in my city because I think the park is a great place for people to gather, not just young people, but also children and older people.

Missing definite article before 'park' ('the park'). 'The the old' is incorrect repetition; use 'older people' or 'the elderly' instead of 'the old'. Also 'young people' should not need 'the'. Suggestion: use appropriate noun forms ('children', 'older people') and include 'the' when referring to a general concept of 'the park'. (Grammar problem type ID:12)

× For the young people they could de stress here and for the kids they could play together with friends and for the old people they could exercise.

✓ For young people, they can de-stress here; children can play together with their friends; and older people can exercise.

Use 'can' for general present ability rather than 'could', which suggests past or conditional. 'De stress' should be hyphenated or combined as 'de-stress'. 'The old people' is better as 'older people' and 'kids' should be 'children' in formal speech. Suggestion: use 'can' for present general statements and choose appropriate nouns and hyphenation. (Grammar problem type ID:4)

× Yes and I really want to visit the Qiancheng park in the future, uh, once I go to where I still remembered it and cannot forget the, the views of this park uh, and I heard that the park was redecorated recently and, uh, and, and that.

✓ Yes, I really want to visit Qiancheng Park in the future; when I went there I remembered it and could not forget the views of the park, and I heard that the park was redecorated recently.

Mixes present 'want' with past recollection; the phrase 'once I go to where I still remembered it' is ungrammatical. Use 'when I went there I remembered it' for past events and 'could not forget' for past inability to forget. 'Qiancheng Park' as a proper name should be capitalized and 'the park was redecorated recently' correctly uses past passive for a recent change. Suggestion: separate future intention ('want to visit') from past memories using correct tenses and clean up redundant words. (Grammar problem type ID:5)