Parks— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Be direct, use correct tense and concise sentences. Start with a clear topic sentence addressing the question (e.g., “Yes, I loved going to parks as a child.”), then add one or two specific supporting details. Fix grammar (past tense) and reduce filler words.

예시: Yes, I loved going to parks as a child. My father often carried me on his back while we walked around, and he would tell me stories about the trees and animals, which made those visits very memorable.

제안: Answer directly then give specific, coherent supporting details using linking words. Avoid repetition and filler sounds. Use correct collocations (e.g., “visited a park,” “snacks such as chips and soda”) and clarify unclear phrases.

예시: Yes, I still enjoy going to parks. Recently I visited a park with friends; we brought snacks such as chips and soda, and we chatted about recent trends in Nepal, which made the afternoon relaxing and fun.

제안: Give a clear opinion sentence and support it with specific reasons. Use correct nouns and plural/singular forms, and link ideas with words like “because” or “so.” Avoid repetition and tidy up grammar.

예시: Yes, I would like to see more parks in my city because they encourage people to get outdoors and unwind after a long workweek. For example, more parks would give families safe places to relax and exercise on weekends.

제안: State the park clearly and give concise reasons why you want to go, using linking words like “because” or “since.” Remove hesitations and repetitions; keep to 2–3 sentences with specific details about what attracts you to the park.

예시: Yes, I would like to visit Garfunkel Park in the future because a friend recommended it highly. He told me the park has beautiful walking trails and a scenic lake, which sounds perfect for relaxing and taking photos.

× Well, I love to go park when I was child with my father, used to.

✓ Well, I loved going to the park when I was a child with my father.

Mixed tenses and missing articles: 'love' present conflicts with 'when I was a child' which refers to the past, so use past tense 'loved'. 'go park' needs the gerund 'going' and the definite article 'the' before 'park'. Add 'a' before 'child'. Also remove unnecessary 'used to' or rephrase as 'we used to'. Suggestions: use consistent past tense and include necessary articles or use 'we used to go to the park'.

× Get me on his back and telling some story visiting the park.

✓ He would carry me on his back and tell me stories while we visited the park.

Fragment and incorrect verb forms: sentence lacks a proper subject and mixes verb forms 'Get me' and 'telling'. Use past habitual structure 'would carry' or 'used to carry' plus base verb 'tell'. Add object 'me' for 'tell me stories' and conjunction 'while' for simultaneous actions. Suggest practicing subject-verb-object order and matching verb forms for past habits.

× Yes, I have recently visited park with my friends.

✓ Yes, I recently visited a park with my friends.

Article and tense nuance: 'have recently visited' is present perfect which can be acceptable, but 'visited park' needs article 'a' or 'the'. Simpler past 'recently visited' is natural for speaking. Use 'a park' unless a specific park was previously mentioned.

× We took some snacks, chips and coke.

✓ We took some snacks, like chips and Coke.

List and capitalization: 'chips and coke' are examples of snacks; add a phrase 'like' or 'such as' for clarity. 'Coke' as a brand should be capitalized. Also include commas appropriately. Suggest saying 'snacks such as chips and Coke'.

× We really enjoyed their talking, talking about some uh, recent trends in Nepal as well as how del combination really goes well.

✓ We really enjoyed talking, discussing recent trends in Nepal as well as how the food combinations go well together.

Pronoun misuse and unclear noun: 'their talking' incorrectly uses 'their'; use 'talking' or 'our talking' or 'listening to each other'. 'del combination' is unclear—likely 'food combinations' or a specific 'del' word; include 'the' and plural agreement 'go' not 'goes'. Suggestions: use clear nouns and correct verb agreement.

× Yes, I love to. I would love to see more parts in the country it it's encourage people to visit their park and unwind their mind from day long work in their weekend.

✓ Yes, I would love to see more parks in the country; it would encourage people to visit parks and unwind their minds after a long day of work on the weekend.

Multiple article, plurality and modal issues: 'parts' should be 'parks'. Remove duplicated 'it it's' and use conditional 'it would encourage'. 'their park' should be plural 'parks' or 'them to visit the park' depending on meaning. 'unwind their mind' should be 'unwind their minds'. 'day long work' should be 'a long day of work' and 'in their weekend' should be 'on the weekend' or 'at the weekend'. Suggestions: simplify sentence and ensure correct articles, plural nouns, and modal verbs.

× Yes, I would love to go Garfunkel Park umm, I had more about it, umm, from my friend, uh, he said he recently went to that park and he really loved it and he really recommended to me to go there.

✓ Yes, I would love to go to Garfunkel Park. I heard about it from my friend; he said he recently went there, loved it, and strongly recommended that I visit.

Verb forms and prepositions: need preposition 'to' after 'go'. 'I had more about it' is incorrect—use 'I heard about it'. 'Recommended to me to go there' should be 'recommended that I visit' or 'recommended I go there'. Also simplify repeated 'really'. Suggestions: use correct reporting verbs ('heard'), proper prepositions, and use a noun clause after 'recommended' or 'recommended that ...'.

× I really love to go there and.

✓ I really would love to go there.

Incomplete sentence: original ends with conjunction 'and' and lacks completion or a second clause. Remove trailing 'and' and ensure sentence has a verb phrase 'would love to go'. Suggestions: finish clauses or avoid dangling conjunctions.