Parks— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Be more grammatical, concise and coherent. Start with a clear topic sentence, then give 1–2 specific supporting details using linking words. Correct tense and sentence structure (e.g., use past tense consistently) and avoid unnecessary words.

예시: Yes, I loved going to parks as a child. Although there was no park near my home, I often played with my neighbors and we enjoyed games like hide-and-seek and swimming in the nearby river, which felt like a real adventure.

제안: Make your meaning clear and use correct vocabulary. Begin with a direct answer, then give two clear supporting details. Replace unclear words (e.g., “press”, “text my kid”, “play sweet”, “slice”, “edge mode”) with accurate terms and use linking words for coherence.

예시: Yes, definitely. I still enjoy going to parks because they have good play equipment and are great places to meet other people. For example, I often take my child there to play on the swings and slide, and the green surroundings make it a pleasant, refreshing spot.

제안: Be concise and grammatically correct. Give a clear topic sentence then two specific reasons using linking words. Fix grammar (plural/singular agreement) and avoid incomplete sentences.

예시: Yes, I would love to see more parks in the city because they provide safe places for children to play and pleasant outdoor spaces for adults to relax or exercise. Also, parks offer convenient meeting spots where friends can gather for walks or group workouts.

제안: Answer directly and use correct sentence forms. State the park you want to visit and provide specific reasons with linking words. Avoid turning statements into questions unless necessary, and correct article and agreement errors.

예시: I would like to visit a Disney theme park in the future because it is one of the largest and most famous parks, with many interactive rides and iconic cartoon characters. I think it would be a fun and memorable experience.

× Yes, I love going to the park, however there was no park near my home so I usually play with my neighbors.

✓ Yes, I loved going to the park; however, there was no park near my home so I usually played with my neighbors.

The response mixes present and past tenses. The question asks about childhood (past), so verbs should be past: 'love' -> 'loved', 'play' -> 'played'. Use a semicolon or period before 'however' and add commas for clarity.

× Some games like playing hide and seek or swimming in the rivers, which was an exciting and like an adventure.

✓ Some games included playing hide-and-seek or swimming in rivers, which was exciting and felt like an adventure.

The original sentence has awkward structure and agreement: 'some games like playing' is unclear. Change to 'Some games included...' and use plural 'rivers' without article. Use 'was' -> 'were' could match 'games', but referring to the experience, 'was exciting' is acceptable; add 'felt' to make 'like an adventure' grammatical. Hyphenate 'hide-and-seek'.

× Yes definitely. I still love going to the press because it has a lot of equipment and many people are to socialize with.

✓ Yes, definitely. I still love going to the park because it has a lot of equipment and many people to socialize with.

'press' is a wrong word; likely 'park'. Remove unnecessary 'the' before 'park' is optional but 'the park' is fine; keep 'the park'. The phrase 'are to socialize with' is ungrammatical; use 'to socialize with' or 'to socialize with them'. Simplify to 'many people to socialize with'.

× I often text my kid there to play sweet or to play on the swings and slice.

✓ I often take my kids there to play, or to use the swings and slides.

'Text my kid' is likely wrong contextually; 'take my kids' fits visiting a park. 'kid' singular/plural consistency: use 'kids' if plural. 'play sweet' is incorrect; perhaps 'play games' or simply 'play'. 'slice' should be 'slide' or 'slides'. Adjust verbs and nouns accordingly.

× The edge mode appear. They are pleasant and fresh.

✓ The open areas are pleasant and fresh.

'The edge mode appear' is unintelligible. Replace with a coherent phrase 'open areas appear' or 'the green areas are pleasant and fresh'. Use plural agreement 'appear' -> 'are' and match subject and verb.

× Yes I would love to see more park in the city because that is a safe place for the kids to play and it also a pleasant place for adult to work.

✓ Yes, I would love to see more parks in the city because they are safe places for kids to play and also pleasant places for adults to relax.

'more park' should be plural 'more parks'. Use plural pronoun 'they' to refer to parks. 'a pleasant place for adult to work' has missing plural and article: use 'adults' and choose appropriate verb: parks are for relaxing, not working. Ensure plural agreement.

× At the same time we also a place that we can meet and our friends there for exercise and.

✓ At the same time, they are also places where we can meet our friends and exercise.

Missing verb after 'we also': add 'they are also places'. Word order 'meet and our friends there' is incorrect; correct to 'meet our friends'. Remove trailing 'and' and finish idea.

× I would like to visit Disney theme park in the future.

✓ I would like to visit the Disney theme park in the future.

Use the definite article 'the' before 'Disney theme park' when referring to a specific well-known place.

× Is it one of the largest parks in the world with many interactive games and it's a signature cartoon characters?

✓ Is it one of the largest parks in the world with many interactive attractions and signature cartoon characters?

Sentence combines a question and a statement incorrectly. Replace 'interactive games' with 'interactive attractions' and remove 'it's a' before 'signature cartoon characters' to make noun phrase. For a question, start with 'Is it...' and end with a question mark, keep the structure concise.

× It would be a lot of fun and unique experience there.

✓ It would be a lot of fun and a unique experience.

Missing article before 'unique experience' and awkward word order. Add 'a' and remove 'there' which is unnecessary. Ensure parallel articles for 'a lot of fun and a unique experience'.