Parks— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Be more grammatically accurate and concise. Start with a clear topic sentence, correct verb tenses and articles, avoid repetition, and give one or two specific details. Use linking words only if adding detail.

예시: Yes, I loved going to parks when I was a child. They had many slides and swings, and I spent hours playing with my friends on the equipment.

제안: Reduce hesitations and organize the reply: give a direct answer then explain briefly with a reason and a qualifier. Fix grammar (use present simple/continuous) and avoid repeating fillers.

예시: Yes, I still enjoy visiting parks because they feel very relaxing and help me de-stress. However, I don't go as often now because my schedule is very busy.

제안: Answer directly then support with specific reasons and examples. Improve grammar (articles, countable nouns) and sentence structure. Use linking words like 'however' or 'therefore' to connect ideas and avoid long, run-on sentences.

예시: I would like to see more parks in my city because the area where I live is crowded and polluted and has very few green spaces. Currently there are only three or four small parks nearby, so I usually visit them at weekends to walk and exercise with friends and family.

제안: Be concise and correct tense usage. State the park you want to visit, give one or two specific reasons, and avoid fillers. Use linking words to make the answer coherent.

예시: Yes, I would love to visit Disneyland in the future because I enjoyed Disney films as a child and the park looks magical. It also seems to have great attractions and beautiful gardens, so I hope to go there at least once.

× Yes, I love to visit Park when I was child because there has so many sliders there and I love to do and I love to play there.

✓ Yes, I loved visiting the park when I was a child because there were so many slides there and I loved playing on them.

Errors: incorrect tense (present 'love' vs past 'was a child'), article missing ('the park' and 'a child'), incorrect verb form 'has' instead of past 'were', incorrect plural noun 'sliders' should be 'slides', awkward verb constructions. Suggestions: use past tense for past habits ('loved visiting'), use correct articles ('the park', 'a child'), use correct past form of 'to be' for existence ('there were'), and use appropriate verbs for activities ('playing on them').

× I really love to visit parks now because, uh, uh, because uh, it's, it's, it's, it's a very therapeutic, uh, thing. But right now with my all busy schedule, it is it, uh, it is, it does not make more.

✓ I really love visiting parks now because it's a very therapeutic activity. But right now, with my busy schedule, I cannot go as often.

Errors: repetition and filler words, awkward phrasing 'love to visit' (prefer 'love visiting'), incorrect noun 'thing' instead of 'activity', incorrect phrase 'with my all busy schedule' (wrong word order and article), and incorrect expression 'it does not make more' which is ungrammatical. Suggestions: remove fillers, use 'visiting' for general habits, use 'a very therapeutic activity', say 'with my busy schedule' and 'I cannot go as often' to express frequency limitation.

× The right now the place I have lived is very populated and a very polluted area, so there are very less amount of, uh, parks in our area.

✓ Right now, the place where I live is very populated and polluted, so there are very few parks in our area.

Errors: tense and aspect ('I have lived' inappropriate for current residence), unnecessary article 'The right now', incorrect quantifier 'very less amount of' (use 'very few' or 'few'), wordiness. Suggestions: say 'Right now' at start, use present simple for current state ('where I live'), and use 'very few parks' to indicate small number.

× But yeah, if you are looking for, uh, three to four parks we have and I prefer to go and walk there and spend my quality time with my friends and family.

✓ But yes, we have three or four parks, and I prefer to go there to walk and spend quality time with my friends and family.

Errors: awkward conditional 'if you are looking for', unnecessary fillers, word order 'three to four parks we have' is wrong. Suggestions: state the number directly ('we have three or four parks'), use 'go there to walk' or 'go for a walk', and 'spend quality time' without 'my' is acceptable but 'with my friends and family' is fine.

× So I always try on my weekends to go to the park and do some exercise also.

✓ So I always try to go to the park on weekends and do some exercise as well.

Errors: word order 'try on my weekends to go' is awkward, 'do some exercise also' placement. Suggestions: use 'try to go on weekends' and 'do some exercise as well' for natural phrasing.

× Uh, I'm a very, uh, I love to watch Disney when I was a child and right now, uh, the, one of my favorite park is go to the Disneyland park, which has a great, uh, slides and did, uh, it has a great greenery as well.

✓ I loved watching Disney when I was a child, and now one of my favorite parks is Disneyland, which has great slides and beautiful greenery.

Errors: tense mismatch ('I love to watch Disney when I was a child' should be past), filler words, wrong phrasing 'one of my favorite park is go to the Disneyland park', incorrect plural 'slides' with article 'a great, uh, slides', awkward 'did, uh', and 'great greenery' is awkward. Suggestions: use past tense for childhood habits ('loved watching'), say 'one of my favorite parks is Disneyland', use plural nouns correctly ('great slides') and choose natural adjectives ('beautiful greenery').

× And I really love to visit once in my life.

✓ And I would really love to visit it once in my life.

Errors: modal/tense missing: 'I really love to visit once in my life' is unnatural; needs conditional/modal 'would' to express a desire for a future one-time visit, and include object 'it' (Disneyland). Suggestions: use 'would really love to visit it once in my life' or 'I hope to visit it once in my life' to express aspiration.