Parks— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Make the answer more concise and natural: start with a clear topic sentence, avoid repetition, and add one specific detail (an example or memory). Use a linking phrase for clarity.

예시: Yes — I loved going to parks with my family, especially my grandmother. For example, we used to feed ducks and sit on the same bench while she told stories, which made those visits very special.

제안: Reduce hesitation and combine ideas smoothly. Begin with a clear topic sentence, then give one specific reason and a brief example of when or how you go.

예시: Yes, I still enjoy parks because I find them peaceful. For instance, I often walk there alone after a stressful day and sit by a pond to relax while listening to calming music.

제안: Be more direct and avoid filler words. State your opinion first, then give concise, specific examples and a reason. Use linking words to connect ideas.

예시: I think our city already has enough good parks. For example, the Botanical Garden and Central Park are peaceful places where I like to walk and read because they are quiet and well maintained.

제안: Be specific where possible and organize your answer: state your desire, give a reason, and mention who you would go with. If you don't know names, describe the parks concisely and give a clear reason.

예시: Yes, I'd love to visit famous national parks abroad, especially those with forests and waterfalls. For example, I imagine going with my brother to a scenic park to hike and relive the childhood walks we used to enjoy together.

× I quite loved attending parks with my family, but mostly I loved going there with my grandmother because we made a lot of special moments and bonding there.

✓ I quite loved going to parks with my family, but mostly I loved going there with my grandmother because we had a lot of special moments and bonding there.

Use 'go to' or 'going to' for visiting places, not 'attending' which is used for events. Also 'made a lot of special moments' is unnatural; 'had a lot of special moments' or 'created many special memories' is better. The verb tense 'had' fits the past habitual context.

× I played a lot in the playground, made friends a lot.

✓ I played a lot in the playground and made many friends.

The original uses two short clauses without a conjunction and repeats 'a lot' awkwardly. Combine with 'and' for proper coordination and use 'many friends' instead of 'made friends a lot' for natural English.

× Yes, because, uh, I love the quietness and the nature that I see there.

✓ Yes, because I love the quietness and the nature I see there.

Remove filler commas and 'uh'. 'The nature that I see there' is wordy; 'the nature I see there' is concise. Article use is acceptable but sentence needed smoothing.

× I usually go alone because I go there to relax my mind and sometimes listen to music after some difficult times.

✓ I usually go alone because I go there to relax and sometimes listen to music after difficult times.

'Relax my mind' is wordy; 'relax' suffices. 'After some difficult times' is unnatural; 'after difficult times' or 'during difficult periods' is better. Sentence is streamlined for natural flow.

× I'd say that we have enough, uh, great parks in my city such as the Botanical Garden and the, uh, and the center park.

✓ I'd say that we have enough great parks in my city, such as the Botanical Garden and Central Park.

Remove filler 'uh' and duplicate 'and the'. Use 'such as' followed by examples. Capitalize proper names: 'Central Park' rather than 'center park'.

× There are two examples of very great parks in my city and I love going there because it's very peaceful and quiet.

✓ There are two very nice examples of parks in my city, and I love going to them because they are very peaceful and quiet.

'There are two examples of very great parks' is awkward; reorder to 'two very nice examples of parks'. Replace 'going there' with 'going to them' to refer to the parks. Use plural verb 'they are' to agree with plural 'parks' rather than singular 'it's'.

× Yes, there are some interesting parks abroad that I've heard of.

✓ Yes, there are some interesting parks abroad that I've heard about.

Use 'heard about' or 'heard of' both acceptable, but 'heard about' fits better here. This is a minor style choice; modal issue identified because original fine but 'that I've heard of' could be kept. Suggestion improves clarity.

× To be clear, I don't know their names, but I know what beautiful nature they provide and it's very interesting.

✓ To be clear, I don't know their names, but I know the beautiful nature they have, and it sounds very interesting.

'What beautiful nature they provide' is awkward; 'the beautiful nature they have' or 'the beautiful scenery' is more natural. Replace 'it's very interesting' with 'it sounds very interesting' to reflect hearsay and match pronoun reference 'it' to 'the idea' rather than 'nature'.

× I would love to go there with my brother because we used to love to go to parks together as children.

✓ I would love to go there with my brother because we used to love going to parks together when we were children.

Use 'used to love going' rather than 'used to love to go' for natural past habitual phrasing. Also 'as children' is acceptable but 'when we were children' is clearer. Maintain past tense consistency for the habitual action.