Parks— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Be more concise and correct grammar. Start with a clear topic sentence, then add one or two specific supporting details using linking words. Fix verb tense and article use (e.g., “to the park,” “I liked playing on the playground”). Keep it to no more than 3–4 sentences.

예시: Yes, I loved going to parks as a child. When I was about eight, my parents took me to the park every week for a picnic, and I enjoyed playing on the playground and meeting other children. As a result, I made many friends and had fond memories of growing up there.

제안: Provide a clear direct answer first (Yes or No) then explain with one or two linked reasons. Avoid repetition and refine awkward phrases (e.g., “depends on my mood,” “not a good idea”). Use linking words like ‘however’ or ‘but’.

예시: It depends on my mood. If I need to think or clear my head, going for a walk in the park is ideal because it helps me concentrate; however, when I am very tired, I prefer to rest at home instead of spending time walking outdoors.

제안: Start with a concise topic sentence and then give specific reasons (e.g., benefits for families, air quality, mental health). Correct awkward word choice (“whoever is habitat of a city”) to clearer expressions like “residents.” Use one linking phrase to connect reasons.

예시: Yes, definitely. Tehran needs more green spaces because parks provide safe play areas for children, improve air quality, and offer residents places to relax. For these reasons, I strongly support creating more parks in the city.

제안: Answer directly then give one clear specific example with a reason. Correct phrasing (e.g., “I don’t have any specific plans,” “I wouldn’t mind visiting Hyde Park because it has…”) and avoid filler words like “uh.” Keep it to 2–3 sentences.

예시: I don’t have any definite plans, but I would like to visit Hyde Park in London because it has a zoo and a carousel. I enjoy watching animals, so that would be a fun experience for me.

× my parents used to take me to park every week for picnic

✓ my parents used to take me to the park every week for a picnic

Missing definite article 'the' before 'park' and indefinite article 'a' before 'picnic'. Use 'the park' when referring to a specific park known in context. Use 'a picnic' to indicate one instance of the activity. Suggestion: include appropriate articles for countable nouns.

× I really like to play in playground and meet with other kids that they were playing there

✓ I really liked playing in the playground and meeting other kids who were playing there

Incorrect verb forms and relative clause. 'Like to play' can be 'liked playing' to match past context. 'Playground' needs the article 'the'. Use gerunds 'playing' and 'meeting' after 'liked'. The relative clause should be 'who were playing there' not 'that they were playing there'. Suggestion: use gerunds after verbs of enjoyment and use 'who' for people in relative clauses.

× a lot of friends from playing

✓ a lot of friends from playing

The phrase is acceptable but unclear; no grammatical number error. No change needed other than context: keep 'a lot of friends' (plural) which is correct. Consider: 'I made a lot of friends by playing.' This makes the relationship clearer.

× Depend. It really depends on the mood that I'm trying to.

✓ It depends. It really depends on my mood.

'Depend' alone is incomplete; missing subject. 'Depends on the mood that I'm trying to' is ungrammatical: 'try to' requires an infinitive or object. Use 'depends on my mood' to express the idea. Suggestion: use full clause with subject and correct noun phrase 'my mood'.

× Whenever I'm trying to focus on something, probably walking around the park would be a great exercise for me

✓ Whenever I'm trying to focus on something, walking around the park is a great way to exercise

'Probably' is misplaced and weakens structure; 'would be' is conditional though context is general. Use present simple 'is' for habitual/typical actions. 'A great way to exercise' is more natural than 'a great exercise'. Suggestion: choose tense and modality to match habitual meaning and use natural collocations.

× But when I'm really exhausted and tired, probably walking around the park and spending time there, it wouldn't be really good idea for me

✓ But when I'm really exhausted and tired, walking around the park and spending time there wouldn't be a good idea for me

Unnecessary commas and 'probably' misplacement. 'Wouldn't be really good idea' misses the article 'a'. Use 'wouldn't be a good idea' and remove extra 'really' or place it before 'a' ('not really a good idea'). Suggestion: include articles and place adverbs correctly.

× I believe Tehran needs a green space more than it has at the moment

✓ I believe Tehran needs more green space than it has at the moment

'A green space' suggests one park, but context refers to green space in general. Use uncountable 'green space' with 'more' rather than 'a green space more than'. Suggestion: use correct countable/uncountable noun forms with comparatives.

× And green spaces like park would be ideal for families, for children and whoever is habitat of a city

✓ And green spaces like parks would be ideal for families, for children and for anyone who lives in a city

'Like park' should be plural 'like parks' to match 'green spaces'. 'Whoever is habitat of a city' is ungrammatical: 'anyone who lives in a city' conveys meaning. Add 'for' before 'anyone' for parallel structure. Suggestion: match plural/singular and use natural expressions for people.

× So more green spaces or more parks in the city would be a great idea and absolutely I support that

✓ So more green spaces or more parks in the city would be a great idea, and I absolutely support that

Missing comma before conjunction for clarity and awkward word order 'absolutely I support that' should be 'I absolutely support that'. Articles are fine. Suggestion: maintain natural word order and punctuation.

× No, I don't have any specific plan to visit any park at the future

✓ No, I don't have any specific plans to visit any park in the future

Use plural 'plans' (common collocation) and correct preposition 'in the future' not 'at the future'. Suggestion: use standard collocations: 'plans' and 'in the future'.

× but I wouldn't mind to visit Hyde Park in London due to the zoo that it has and, uh, carousel

✓ but I wouldn't mind visiting Hyde Park in London because it has a zoo and a carousel

'Wouldn't mind to visit' is incorrect; after 'wouldn't mind' use gerund 'visiting'. 'Due to' is used for causes; 'because' is natural for preference reason. 'The zoo that it has' is awkward: 'because it has a zoo'. Add articles 'a zoo' and 'a carousel'. Suggestion: use gerund after 'wouldn't mind' and simple causal connectors.

× I really like to visit the zoo and I enjoy watching animals at the park

✓ I really like visiting the zoo, and I enjoy watching the animals at the park

After 'like' both 'to visit' and 'visiting' are possible; in context consistency with gerunds is preferable: 'like visiting'. 'Watching animals' is fine, but adding 'the' before 'animals' when referring to specific animals in the zoo is natural. Suggestion: keep verb form consistent and use articles when referring to specific groups.

× but that's my particular interest at the moment

✓ but that's my particular interest at the moment

Sentence is grammatical but could be more natural as 'but that's my personal interest at the moment.' No strict grammatical error per the provided list. Suggestion: optionally replace 'particular' with 'personal' for naturalness.