Parks— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Be more natural and concise. Start with a clear topic sentence, use past tense consistently, avoid fillers (uh) and repetitions, and add one specific supporting detail. Use linking words like ‘because’ or ‘for example’.

예시: Yes, I loved going to parks when I was between seven and ten because they were places where my friends and I could run freely. For example, we often built sandcastles beside the playground and played tag until sunset, which made those days very memorable.

제안: Answer directly and improve coherence by combining sentences and using appropriate linking words. Correct grammar (weather, sweating) and avoid overuse of short sentences. Provide one specific indoor alternative and a brief reason.

예시: Not really — nowadays I prefer staying indoors because Taiwan’s weather is often hot and humid, so being outside makes me sweat quickly. As a result, I usually exercise at a gym or play badminton indoors, which I find more comfortable and enjoyable.

제안: Make the point clearer and more grammatical: start with a topic sentence, then explain reasons with linking words (because, so). Use more precise vocabulary (green cover, urban heat). Limit to 3–4 sentences and give a specific benefit.

예시: Yes, I would — I think more parks would help reduce the city’s high temperatures because green cover cools the surrounding area. In addition to providing leisure space, parks can improve air quality and make the neighbourhoods more pleasant to live in.

제안: Be precise and correct facts and grammar. Use a clear topic sentence (I would like to visit...) then give specific reasons and examples. Avoid vague claims (largest park) and awkward phrasing. Use linking words like ‘because’ or ‘for example’.

예시: I would love to visit Central Park in New York because it offers many attractions and wide walking paths. For example, I want to see the lakes, the Bethesda Terrace, and the open lawns where people relax — I think strolling there would be very enjoyable.

× Yes, I like to go to a park around 7 to 10 years old.

✓ Yes, I liked going to parks when I was around 7 to 10 years old.

The question asks about childhood (past), so the verb should be in past tense. Use liked (past) and 'when I was' to refer to age. Also use plural 'parks' or 'a park' consistently; 'going to parks' is more natural for a habitual action in childhood.

× Uh, during that age I like to go to park with my friends and just running around or build a sandcastle together.

✓ During that time I liked to go to the park with my friends and just run around or build sandcastles together.

Switch to past tense 'liked' to match childhood context. Use 'the park' or 'parks' and the base form 'run' and 'build' after 'to' structure; 'running' is incorrect here because parallel verbs should be in base form after 'to' or use gerunds consistently: 'enjoyed running and building'.

× That is the really enjoyable time and then we are having fun and build.

✓ That was a really enjoyable time; we had fun and built sandcastles.

Use past tense 'was', 'had', 'built' to describe past events. The original mixes present and past and omits objects. Rephrase for clarity and correct verb forms.

× No, not really. Right now I prefer to stay inside because Taiwan weathers is too hot and humid.

✓ No, not really. Right now I prefer to stay inside because Taiwan's weather is too hot and humid.

Use the noun 'weather' (singular) and add the possessive 'Taiwan's' to indicate the weather of Taiwan. 'Weathers' is incorrect plural.

× If you stay outside you will quickly be sweating.

✓ If you stay outside you will quickly start sweating.

Use 'start sweating' or simply 'you will sweat' for natural English. 'Be sweating' is grammatical but 'start sweating' is clearer for sudden onset.

× So I prefer to do some activity inside such as workouts or playing badminton that is more fun.

✓ So I prefer to do activities inside, such as working out or playing badminton, which are more fun.

Use plural 'activities' and parallel verb forms 'working out' and 'playing badminton'. Use 'which are' to refer back to multiple activities.

× Yes, I think the problems of the city is the temperature is remaining high with without the green covers, that's all the heat stays in the small area.

✓ Yes, I think the problem in the city is that the temperature remains high without green cover, so the heat stays in small areas.

Correct subject-verb agreement ('problem is that the temperature remains'), remove redundant 'with without', use 'green cover' or 'greenery', and simplify sentence structure for clarity.

× So I think if we have more park is for the leisure purpose, but also improve the entire environment.

✓ So I think if we have more parks for leisure purposes, they would also improve the overall environment.

Use plural 'parks' and correct verb agreement and structure: 'they would improve' refers to parks. Use 'leisure purposes' and 'overall environment' for natural phrasing.

× Yeah, I really want to go to visit the Central City Park in New York.

✓ Yeah, I really want to visit Central Park in New York City.

Use present tense 'want to visit' for a future desire. 'Central City Park' is not the common name; 'Central Park' is correct and 'New York City' is the usual form.

× That is the largest park that's have been reported and many Youtubers have been travelers and walk around.

✓ It is one of the largest parks and many YouTubers have visited and walked around it.

Correct tense and structure: 'It is one of the largest parks' or 'It is the largest' depending on fact. 'That's have been reported' is ungrammatical; use 'one of the largest' or 'has been reported as'. 'YouTubers have visited' uses present perfect appropriately and 'walked around it' completes the action.

× I know there's several interesting facilities and really enjoyable just walking along, so I really want to be there.

✓ I know there are several interesting facilities, and it would be enjoyable just to walk around there, so I really want to go.

Use 'there are' for existence, not 'there's' with plural noun. Use 'it would be enjoyable to walk around' for natural expression, and 'go' instead of 'be there' to express wanting to visit.