Parks— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Ответ звучит понятным образом, но есть ошибки в грамматике, временах и стилистике. Следует употреблять прошедшее время для детства, избегать буквальных переводов ("a way how to"), уменьшить количество слов-паразитов и сделать предложение короче и чётче. Также полезно добавить одно конкретное воспоминание как деталь.

예시: Yes, I loved going to parks as a child. They were a great escape into nature where I could play with friends and relax with my family. For example, I remember spending afternoons climbing trees and having picnics near the pond.

제안: Ответ естественный по смыслу, но содержит разговорные фразы и паузы («let me marinate», «umm»), а также смешение времён (present vs past). Стоит сказать чётко и уверенно, избегать негативных слов без контекста (например, «mental illness» можно заменить на «stress»), и дать короткое объяснение с примером как парки помогают сейчас.

예시: Yes, I still enjoy going to parks because they feel like therapy to me and help reduce my stress. For instance, I go for a short walk in a nearby park after work to clear my mind and recharge.

제안: Ответ содержит полезную идею, но есть ошибки в структуре и словоупотреблении («Fortunately and Moscow»), а также немного небрежная формулировка «like a date with yourself». Следует начать с прямого ответа, затем привести конкретную причину и пример, используя связующие слова.

예시: Yes, I would like even more parks in Moscow because green spaces improve residents' wellbeing. For example, additional small parks would give people quiet places to read, exercise, or simply enjoy some time alone.

제안: Ответ слишком расплывчат и наполнен паузами. Лучше ответить прямо, назвать конкретное парк или тип мест, которые хочется посетить, и объяснить почему. Используйте связки (for example, such as) и ограничьтесь 2–3 предложениями.

예시: Yes, I'd like to visit Gorky Park and a few smaller botanical gardens in Moscow to discover different landscapes. For example, I want to see the riverside paths and new flower displays to get inspiration for my photography.

× Obviously I do because it has a way how to escape into nature and to cope with your anxiety and to go with your friends or family to spend time together.

✓ Obviously I did because it was a way to escape into nature, cope with anxiety, and go with friends or family to spend time together.

The student speaks about childhood (past), so present tense 'do' and 'has' are incorrect; use past tense 'did' and 'was'. Also 'has a way how to' is unidiomatic; use 'was a way to'. Combine repeated 'to' verbs for conciseness. Suggestion: identify time frame (past) and use past tense verbs consistently, and use 'a way to' instead of 'a way how to'.

× Let me marinate on this question. I would say yes because it's my umm, it's my therapy and it helped me to cope with my, uh, mental, uh, illness.

✓ Let me marinate on this question. I would say yes because it's my therapy and it helps me cope with my mental illness.

The student mixes present ('it's my therapy') and past ('it helped me'). When talking about a current ongoing benefit, use present tense 'helps'. Remove unnecessary commas and filler words. Suggestion: keep tense consistent for current situations: use present simple 'helps me' and 'it's my therapy'.

× Fortunately and Moscow, there are myriad of parks and green zones where you can relax and for instance read a book to spend time alone and like a date with yourself.

✓ Fortunately, in Moscow there are a myriad of parks and green spaces where you can relax, for instance read a book, spend time alone, or have a date with yourself.

Errors: 'and Moscow' should be 'in Moscow'; 'myriad' often takes 'a' or can be used without 'of' but 'a myriad of' is acceptable; 'green zones' is better as 'green spaces'; sentence needed commas and parallel structure. Suggestion: use correct preposition 'in Moscow', choose natural collocations like 'green spaces', and maintain parallel list structure.

× It's a difficult question, umm, I would say. So I would like to explore, uh, Moscow, uh, landscape and, uh, green spaces in Moscow and, uh, continue my path in this direction.

✓ It's a difficult question. I would like to explore Moscow's landscape and green spaces and continue on this path.

Use possessive 'Moscow's landscape' rather than 'Moscow landscape'; remove repeated fillers 'uh' and redundant 'in Moscow'. 'Continue my path in this direction' is wordy; use 'continue on this path'. Suggestion: prefer concise phrasing, use possessive for city features, and avoid filler words.