Parks— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Reduce hesitation and repetition, use a clear topic sentence and one or two specific supporting details. Correct basic grammar (e.g., 'parks don't really exist' and 'I'd rather play outside'). Keep answer concise (max 5 sentences). Use linking words like 'because' to connect ideas.

예시: I didn't really go to parks as a child because I preferred playing outdoors — climbing trees and swimming in the ocean. Since I grew up on an island, there weren't many parks in my community, so most of my childhood play happened on the beach.

제안: Start with a direct answer ('Yes, I do') then give a couple of specific reasons. Remove filler words ('umm', 'uh') and improve grammar ('one of the good things that parks bring'). Use a linking word like 'because' or 'and' to connect points.

예시: Yes, I do like going to parks because they are great places for children to meet new friends and play together. In particular, parks offer playgrounds and open space where kids can be active and social.

제안: Give a clear, direct response and avoid vague phrases like 'blah blah blah'. State a reason and a specific benefit of more parks (e.g., health, community space). Keep it to 2–3 sentences and use linking words such as 'because' or 'so'.

예시: Yes, I would like to see more parks in my city because they provide safe outdoor spaces for exercise and community events. More parks would make the city greener and encourage people to spend time outside.

제안: Answer directly and give concrete preferences. Correct grammar ('I don't have any parks in mind' and 'I would like parks to have slides, sand areas, and board games'). Use linking words like 'for example' to list features and avoid filler sounds.

예시: I don't have any specific parks in mind, but I would like parks that have good playgrounds. For example, I would enjoy parks with slides, sand play areas, table games or picnic spots so families and children can have fun together.

× Well as a child I'd I'd rather go play outside umm climbing trees or swimming in the ocean rather than parks.

✓ Well, as a child I'd rather play outside, climbing trees or swimming in the ocean, rather than go to parks.

The original sentence mixes forms and word order. 'I'd rather go play outside' is awkward; use 'I'd rather play outside'. Also 'rather than parks' should be 'rather than go to parks' or rephrased as shown. Use gerund 'climbing' and 'swimming' correctly as activities following 'play outside'. Ensure clear parallel structure by keeping verbs in the same form.

× So since we are we live on an island, parks doesn't really exist in our community.

✓ So since we live on an island, parks don't really exist in our community.

There is redundant 'we are' and incorrect verb agreement: 'parks' is plural so the verb should be 'don't' not 'doesn't'. Remove the extra 'we are' for clarity and correct the subject-verb agreement.

× I do like, umm, going to park since, uh, one of the good thing that uh, the parks brought to children is that you meet uh, new people, new friends, play with them, have fun with them and enjoy being a child.

✓ I do like going to parks since one of the good things that parks bring to children is that you meet new people and make new friends, play with them, have fun, and enjoy being a child.

Use plural 'parks' and plural noun 'things'. 'Brought' should be present 'bring' to match general truth. 'Going to park' needs article or plural: 'going to parks'. Remove filler words and keep parallel verb forms ('meet' and 'make' rather than repeated 'new'). Maintain present tense for general statements.

× I think I do like seeing or having more parts and I see the scenes and blah blah blah.

✓ I think I would like to see or have more parks, and I enjoy the scenery and activities there.

'Parts' is a typo for 'parks'. 'I do like seeing or having' is awkward; 'I would like to see or have' fits the question about wanting more parks. Replace 'the scenes and blah blah blah' with specific 'the scenery and activities' to be grammatically appropriate and meaningful.

× Well I don't have any parks on mind, but what I would want are the park to have our umm, slides, uh, have board games in the parks.

✓ Well, I don't have any specific park in mind, but I would want parks to have slides and board games.

Use 'in mind' not 'on mind'. 'Any parks on mind' is incorrect; say 'any specific park in mind'. 'Are the park to have our' is ungrammatical; change to 'parks to have'. Remove unnecessary 'our' and filler words. Keep verbs consistent and plural agreement with 'parks'.

× UMM have sands and other place playgrounds that I could have fun with.

✓ I would like them to have sand areas and other playground spaces where I could have fun.

'Have sands' is unidiomatic; use 'sand areas' or 'sandy areas'. 'Other place playgrounds' is incorrect word order; use 'other playground spaces'. Use 'where I could have fun' rather than 'that I could have fun with' for clearer structure.