Parks— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Be more direct in the first sentence, avoid filler words (umm) and repetition, and add a specific detail or brief example to support your statement. Use a clear topic sentence followed by one or two supporting details with a linking word.

예시: Not really. As a child I preferred playing in the street and in my grandparents' yard with my cousins because it was closer to home and we could build games together. For example, we often made obstacle courses using old boxes, which made our playtime very lively.

제안: Start with a concise direct answer, reduce hesitations, and structure supporting details with linking words (for example, because, however). Mention a specific occasion or activity that explains when you do visit parks.

예시: Not really, because I work long hours and rarely have free time. However, when I do visit a park on weekends I enjoy walking and listening to birds; for instance, I went last month to relax after a busy week.

제안: Use correct grammar (parks are), remove repetitions, and provide specific reasons or examples explaining benefits. Keep to one topic sentence plus one supporting detail and avoid unclear fragments.

예시: Yes, I would, because parks provide green space that helps relieve stress and improve air quality. For example, a nearby park with trees would give people a place to exercise and relax during lunch breaks.

제안: Answer directly and correct word choice (greeneries -> greenery; "a park with more greenery"). Use linking words to explain why and give a specific imagined example of features you'd like in a future park.

예시: I don't have a specific park in mind, but I would like to visit a park with more greenery and mature trees because it helps me relax and concentrate. For instance, a park with shaded benches, a pond and walking paths would be perfect for reading or meditating.

× Not really, so we usually just have our play time outside our home umm with my cousins, friends and classmates.

✓ Not really. We usually played outside our home with my cousins, friends, and classmates.

The question asks about childhood (past), so the student should use past tense. 'Usually have our play time' is present; change to 'usually played' for correct tense and natural phrasing. Also add punctuation and commas for clarity. Suggestion: Use past simple for habitual actions in the past: 'We usually played...'. Replace 'have our play time' with 'played' to sound natural.

× So we really enjoyed together.

✓ So we really enjoyed it together.

The sentence refers to past enjoyment, so past tense 'enjoyed' is correct, but the phrase needs an object: 'enjoyed it together.' Suggestion: Include the object 'it' and combine into the previous sentence or keep as a complete sentence: 'We really enjoyed it together.'

× Not really, given that I am a working professional right now and umm, I don't usually have much time for umm, umm, going to parks, but yeah, every time I have the chance to go there, Yeah, So I really do enjoy.

✓ Not really, because I am a working professional now and I don't usually have much time to go to parks. But whenever I have the chance, I really do enjoy going there.

Use of tense and verb forms: 'given that I am... right now' is acceptable but wordy; 'have much time for going to parks' is awkward—use 'time to go to parks.' Also remove redundant hesitations and fix sentence fragments and capitalization. 'Every time' -> 'whenever' for natural flow. Suggestion: Simplify and use infinitive after 'time' ('time to go') and keep consistent present tense for current habits.

× I'd like to because I believe that parks is very much helpful, especially when relieving stress and also it it could help it could help you to breathe.

✓ I'd like more parks because I believe parks are very helpful, especially for relieving stress, and they can help you breathe more easily.

Multiple issues: subject-verb agreement ('parks is' -> 'parks are') is a subject-verb agreement error (ID 27) but also present participle/gerund usage: 'when relieving stress' should be 'for relieving stress' or 'in relieving stress.' Repetition 'it it could help it could help' is redundant. Use 'they' to refer to parks. Use 'breathe more easily' for natural phrasing. Suggestion: Ensure subject and verb agree with plural 'parks are' and use 'for' or 'in' with gerunds: 'helpful for relieving stress.' Use pronoun 'they' for parks and remove repetition.

× What an Aquila ankle on.

✓ No correction possible due to unintelligible phrase; likely delete or ask for clarification.

This fragment appears to be unintelligible or a transcription error; it does not form a coherent English sentence. It should be clarified by the speaker or removed. Suggestion: Ask the speaker what they meant or remove the fragment.

× Well, I don't have in mind but if I given a chance to give any part, maybe it could be a park that is more greeneries because I believe that greeneries can relax umm especially in our umm mental states.

✓ Well, I don't have any specific park in mind, but if I were given the chance to choose one, it would be a park with more greenery because I believe greenery can help relax us, especially our mental state.

Multiple grammar issues: 'I don't have in mind' should be 'I don't have any specific park in mind' (article and word order). 'if I given a chance' needs past subjunctive: 'if I were given a chance.' 'to give any part' likely means 'choose one' or 'pick a park.' 'more greeneries' is uncountable: use 'more greenery' (noun usage). 'greeneries can relax... mental states' awkward—use 'greenery can help relax us, especially our mental state.' Suggestion: Use 'any specific ... in mind', correct conditional 'if I were given', use uncountable 'greenery', and simplify 'mental state.'

× It gives us more focus.

✓ It helps us focus more.

Present tense is acceptable, but 'gives us more focus' is less natural than 'helps us focus more.' Use 'helps' + base verb for clearer meaning. Suggestion: Use 'help' plus verb to express facilitation: 'helps us focus more.'