Parks— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Be direct, accurate and concise. Start with a clear topic sentence (Yes, I loved going to parks as a child.), correct vocabulary (park, not party; work is unclear), and give one or two specific supporting details using linking words. Keep to 2–4 sentences and avoid repetition.

예시: Yes, I loved going to parks as a child. I spent many weekends there with my family, playing on the swings and having picnics. Because of those visits I have many fond memories of nature and outdoor games.

제안: Answer directly with a clear reason and avoid hesitations and grammar mistakes. Use a simple topic sentence (No, not really.) then add a reason and one brief detail using a linking word (because, so). Check verb forms and numbers (I'm seventeen).

예시: Not really — I rarely go to parks now because I'm seventeen and very busy with school and after-school activities. As a result, I don't have much free time for long visits.

제안: Provide a clear opinion with specific benefits and use correct collocations (improve air quality, reduce pollution). Use linking words to list benefits and avoid vague phrases. Keep it to 2–3 sentences.

예시: Yes, I would. More parks would increase green space and improve air quality, which would reduce pollution. Also, parks provide safe places for people to relax and meet each other, improving community life.

제안: Give a focused response: state one or two specific types of parks or a named park you want to visit and explain why using linking words (because, for example). Avoid vague repetition and keep to 2–3 sentences.

예시: Yes, I would like to visit several famous parks in the future, for example national parks with mountains and lakes because I enjoy hiking and photography. Visiting those parks would let me relax and take better landscape photos.

× Yeah, actually I used to love going to the party as I was a child because works meant a lot to me and I spent a lot of time in there. I have a huge, I have a lot of memories in with my family, like playing, playing.

✓ Yeah, actually I used to love going to the park when I was a child because it meant a lot to me and I spent a lot of time there. I have a lot of memories with my family, like playing together.

The student used incorrect prepositions and articles: 'going to the party' should be 'going to the park' (likely wrong word) and 'as I was a child' should be 'when I was a child' (correct temporal preposition). 'Works meant a lot to me' is unclear; 'it meant a lot to me' is correct subject reference. 'in there' is incorrect preposition use; simply 'there' is correct. 'memories in with my family' mixes prepositions; use 'memories with my family'. Also add 'together' to clarify shared activity. Suggestion: Use 'when' for time in the past, avoid redundant prepositions like 'in there', and pair 'memories' with 'with'.

× No, I think my interest, my I'm I'm not keep into the part now because I'm now I'm adult. I'm turning my 7. I turned my seventeens and I don't have enough time to spend there and.

✓ No, I think I'm not into the park now because I'm an adult. I'm 17 and I don't have enough time to spend there.

Multiple pronoun and article errors: 'my interest, my I'm I'm not keep into the part' is ungrammatical—use subject pronoun 'I' with the verb 'am not into'. 'part' should be 'park' (word choice). 'I'm now I'm adult' should be 'I'm an adult' (use indefinite article 'an' before vowel sound). 'I'm turning my 7. I turned my seventeens' is incorrect; likely means 'I'm 17' or 'I turned 17'. Use correct numeral and tense. Remove trailing 'and.' which is incomplete. Suggestion: Use clear subject-verb structure 'I am not into...', use appropriate articles ('an adult'), and express age as 'I'm 17' or 'I turned 17'.

× Yeah, I would like to see more parks because more parks means more green space that can improve our air pollution or can reduce our pay air pollution and help us to, uh, to have a clear and friendly shape, umm, friendship with.

✓ Yes, I would like to see more parks because more parks mean more green space that can improve air quality, reduce pollution, and help us enjoy a cleaner, friendlier environment.

Subject-verb agreement: 'more parks means' is incorrect; plural subject 'parks' takes plural verb 'mean'. Incorrect phrase 'improve our air pollution' should be 'improve air quality' or 'reduce pollution'. 'pay air pollution' is nonsensical. 'have a clear and friendly shape, friendship with' is awkward and incorrect; rephrase as 'enjoy a cleaner, friendlier environment' to convey intended meaning. Suggestion: Ensure plural subjects have plural verbs, use precise nouns like 'air quality' and avoid literal translations; focus on intended meaning when reorganizing the sentence.

× I would like to visit a lot of parks in the future. I think it's my dream, I guess. And yeah, probably yes. So I want to visit a lot of interesting and entertaining and also incredible part. And because I used to dream I I dreamed a lot of about it.

✓ I would like to visit many parks in the future. I think it's my dream. I want to visit many interesting, entertaining, and incredible parks because I used to dream about this a lot.

Errors include incorrect noun form 'part' which should be 'parks' and awkward quantifiers 'a lot of' repeated. Use 'many' for countable plural 'parks'. 'I used to dream I I dreamed a lot of about it' mixes tenses and word order; correct to 'I used to dream about this a lot' or 'I dreamed about it a lot.' Maintain consistent tense for past habitual action ('used to'). Suggestion: Use 'many' with plural countable nouns, correct word choice ('park' -> 'parks'), and keep consistent tense and word order when expressing past habitual actions.