Parks— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Be more concise and natural: start with a clear topic sentence, correct grammar (e.g., 'I could only go once a week' and 'I have beautiful memories'), and avoid redundancy. Use one or two specific supporting details linked with a connector (e.g., 'because' or 'so') and keep the answer within 2–3 sentences.

예시: Yes, I loved going to parks as a child because I could only go on Saturdays, so each visit felt special. I remember playing on the swings and having picnics with my family, which made those days memorable.

제안: Reduce hesitation and fix grammar: use a clear topic sentence and correct verbs (e.g., 'visiting a park every morning gives me a chance to exercise'). Use linking words like 'so' or 'therefore' to connect why you go and what you do. Keep it to no more than three sentences and be specific about activities and duration.

예시: Yes, I still like going to parks. Visiting a park every morning gives me a chance to exercise before work, so I usually jog there for about half an hour.

제안: Avoid repetition and improve sentence variety: start with a direct answer, then give specific reasons using linking words such as 'because' and 'so'. Replace vague phrases like 'it is a crowd' with 'it gets crowded'. Keep details concise and specific (e.g., peak times, lack of green space).

예시: Yes, I would like more parks because my small hometown has only one park, which gets very crowded at weekends. As a result, it is hard to find a quiet spot to relax or exercise.

제안: Be more precise and natural: correct word choices ('on New Year's' or 'for New Year'), remove fillers, and give a brief reason with a linking word. Mention what you want to do there to make the answer more vivid.

예시: I'd like to visit Central Park for New Year's because I admired its scenery in the movie Home Alone. I would enjoy walking around the park and seeing the city decorations in person.

× I have a beautiful memories about that time there.

✓ I have beautiful memories about that time there.

'Memories' is plural, so the determiner should not be 'a'. Use no article: 'beautiful memories'. Alternatively 'a beautiful memory' if singular is intended. Ensure noun and article agree.

× I think it was one of my favorite activities visiting the park because I only could do it once a week on Saturdays and I have a beautiful memories about that time there.

✓ I think one of my favorite activities was visiting the park because I could only do it once a week on Saturdays and I have beautiful memories from that time there.

The original sentence has awkward word order and modal placement. 'One of my favorite activities was visiting the park' places the gerund phrase correctly. 'Could only do it' is the normal word order for the adverb 'only'. Use 'memories from that time' instead of 'about that time' for natural phrasing.

× Yes, I do umm, visiting a park every morning, uh, give gives me a chance to exercise before work, uh, so I take advantage to jog or running maybe half an hour.

✓ Yes, I do. Visiting a park every morning gives me a chance to exercise before work, so I take the opportunity to jog for about half an hour.

Subject-verb agreement and verb form need correction: 'Visiting a park every morning' is a singular gerund phrase, so use 'gives'. Remove filler repetitions 'give gives'. Use the noun phrase 'take the opportunity' rather than 'take advantage to', and use the infinitive 'to jog' or gerund 'jogging'; 'jog for about half an hour' is natural.

× I would like to see more parks in my city because unfortunately we have only one park.

✓ I would like to see more parks in my city because unfortunately we have only one park.

No modal error in content; sentence is acceptable. (No change needed.)

× My hometown is little and we have only one park for everyone, so sometimes it's a crowd and it is impossible to relax there.

✓ My hometown is small and we have only one park for everyone, so sometimes it's crowded and it is impossible to relax there.

Use adjective 'small' instead of 'little' for place size. 'It's a crowd' is incorrect; use 'it's crowded' to describe the condition. Ensure adjective use describes the noun/state.

× I would like to visit Central Park in New Year because, uh, it was one place that I, uh, admire in the movie Home Alone, so I would like to stay there one day.

✓ I would like to visit Central Park in New Year because it was one place I admired in the movie Home Alone, so I would like to stay there for one day.

Maintain consistent past reference: if you admired it when watching the movie, use past tense 'admired'. 'Stay there one day' is ambiguous; use 'for one day' to indicate duration. Ensure tense consistency and preposition use.

× visiting a park every morning, uh, give gives me a chance to exercise before work

✓ Visiting a park every morning gives me a chance to exercise before work.

The gerund phrase 'Visiting a park every morning' is third-person singular, so the verb should be 'gives' (not 'give' or duplicate 'give gives'). Correct subject-verb agreement and remove duplicates.