Parks— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Focus on accuracy, clear structure and concise details. Start with a direct topic sentence, correct grammar (past tense and possessives), and avoid redundancy. Use one or two specific supporting details connected with linking words (e.g., 'because', 'so').

예시: Yes, I loved going to parks as a child. For example, every weekend my father and I would visit the local park to play football and relax, because it helped us unwind after a busy week.

제안: Give a clear topic sentence and one or two specific reasons with correct grammar. Use linking words (e.g., 'because', 'so', 'also') and finish your sentence—avoid trailing off. Keep it within 3–4 sentences.

예시: Yes, I still enjoy going to parks because they help me relieve stress when I'm studying or facing personal problems. Also, I like having picnics there with friends, which makes weekends more relaxing.

제안: Correct vocabulary (use 'parks' not 'products'), keep present-tense opinions and provide specific reasons with linking words. Use fewer grammatical errors and one or two clear benefits (recreation and environment).

예시: Definitely. I would like more parks in my city because they provide places for exercise and relaxation, and they help improve air quality by increasing green space.

제안: Use present/future tense and specific examples. Begin with a direct answer, then give two clear and concise reasons connected by linking words (e.g., 'first' and 'second'). Avoid vague phrases like 'charm of technology' without context.

예시: Yes. First, I would like to visit historic parks to learn more about local history and see preserved buildings, and second, I want to visit modern parks with interactive installations to experience new technology in public spaces.

× Yes, actually I was a big fan of going to punch when I was a child.

✓ Yes, actually I was a big fan of going to the park when I was a child.

The sentence uses the wrong noun 'punch' instead of 'park' (vocabulary error rather than grammar). However the tense 'was' correctly indicates past. Corrected to 'park' to make sense; no tense change needed. Suggestion: choose correct vocabulary that fits context.

× I still remembers when I'm on weekends, my father's and I love to go to the parks to relieve our stress, which more is a great way to pass the time.

✓ I still remember that on weekends my father and I loved to go to the park to relieve our stress, which was a great way to pass the time.

Multiple errors: 'remembers' should be 'remember' to match subject 'I' (subject-verb agreement - present form when referring to recollection; but describing past habit use past 'loved'). 'I'm on weekends' is incorrect phrase order and tense; use 'that on weekends'. 'father's and I' is incorrect possessive/pronoun order; correct is 'my father and I'. 'parks' changed to singular 'park' or could be plural but keep singular for habitual place. 'which more is' is ungrammatical; use 'which was'. Maintain past tense for past habit. Suggestion: keep tense consistent and use correct pronoun forms.

× Yeah, definitely. I still love going to park.

✓ Yeah, definitely. I still love going to the park.

Missing definite article 'the' before 'park'. Use 'the park' when speaking about parks in general as an activity or a specific place. Keep present tense 'love' for current preference.

× Now firstly I think it's a great way to relieve my stress when I have some trouble in studying or in a tricky some life problems or what's more, I reckon that going to the park to have a picnic is.

✓ Firstly, I think it's a great way to relieve stress when I have trouble studying or dealing with tricky life problems. What's more, I reckon that going to the park for a picnic is enjoyable.

Original sentence has awkward word order and redundant words: 'Now firstly' is redundant; use 'Firstly'. 'some trouble in studying' should be 'trouble studying' or 'trouble with studying'. 'a tricky some life problems' is incorrect word order and plurality; use 'tricky life problems'. The final clause 'going to the park to have a picnic is' is incomplete; add 'enjoyable' to finish thought. Suggestions: simplify phrases, fix word order, ensure clauses are complete and maintain present tense for current preferences.

× Definitely, I'd love to see more products in my city.

✓ Definitely, I'd love to see more parks in my city.

The word 'products' is the wrong lexical choice; context requires 'parks'. Treat as sentence structure/word choice error. Replace with 'parks'. Keep conditional 'I'd love' for current desire.

× Firstly, it gave me more opportunity to go in different products to pass my time when I was free a secondary.

✓ Firstly, it gives me more opportunities to go to different parks to pass my time when I am free.

Tense and word choice issues: original uses past 'gave' though context refers to general benefit—use present 'gives'. 'more opportunity' should be plural 'more opportunities'. 'go in' should be 'go to'. 'products' should be 'parks'. 'when I was free a secondary' is ungrammatical; correct to 'when I am free'. Keep present tense for general statements. Suggestion: match tense to meaning and fix prepositions.

× I think it's a essential way to clarify the air to reduce some air pollution.

✓ I think it's an essential way to improve the air and reduce air pollution.

Article error: 'a essential' should be 'an essential' (article before vowel sound). 'clarify the air' is incorrect collocation; use 'improve the air' or 'clean the air'. 'to reduce some air pollution' is awkward; use 'and reduce air pollution'. Suggestion: use correct article and collocations.

× Yes, there are. Firstly, I wanted to go to some historic parks to get deep understanding of history and secondly, I wanted to go to the modern park to experience the charm of technology.

✓ Yes, there are. Firstly, I want to go to some historic parks to gain a deeper understanding of history, and secondly, I want to go to a modern park to experience the charm of technology.

The student uses past tense 'wanted' though question asks about future desire—use present/future 'want' or 'would like'. 'get deep understanding' should be 'gain a deeper understanding' (article and comparative). 'the modern park' changed to 'a modern park' for non-specific example. Suggestion: use present/future tense to express future intentions and correct noun phrases.