Parks— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Make the response clearer and more grammatically correct. Start with a direct topic sentence, then give one or two specific supporting details using linking words. Avoid repetition and fix tense/word choice (e.g., "I loved" not "I love" when speaking about childhood).

예시: Yes, I loved going to parks as a child. For example, I spent hours playing on the swings and climbing frames, which helped me make friends and enjoy fresh air.

제안: Use correct verb forms and combine ideas logically. Begin with a clear topic sentence, then explain why using linking words (e.g., "because" or "so"). Be specific about what you enjoy now rather than vague feelings.

예시: Yes, I still enjoy going to parks because they remind me of my childhood. For instance, walking among the trees and watching children play helps me relax and feel happy.

제안: Make your point direct and give specific reasons. Avoid unclear phrases and complete your thoughts. Use linking words like "because" and add concrete benefits (e.g., health, social space).

예시: Yes, I would like more parks in my city because they provide green space for exercise and relaxation. For example, new parks would encourage people to walk, meet neighbors, and improve mental health.

제안: Be specific about the park if possible or describe the type of park you want to visit. Begin with a clear topic sentence, then give reasons and an example of when or why you would go. Avoid filler phrases like "I don't know exactly what part it is."

예시: Yes, I would like to visit a large botanical garden in the future because it would be peaceful and beautiful. For example, I plan to go there next spring to enjoy the flowers and take photos, which will remind me of happy childhood visits.

× Yes, because as a child I love to play outside and also I I don't experience that.

✓ Yes, because as a child I loved to play outside and I didn't have that experience.

The student is referring to childhood, a past time, so verbs should be in the past tense. 'Love' and 'don't experience' are present; they should be 'loved' and 'didn't have' respectively. Also remove the duplicated 'I'. Use 'didn't have that experience' to clearly convey lack of experience in the past.

× Yes, I still going to park because I feel and I remember my childhood days.

✓ Yes, I still go to parks because they remind me of my childhood.

The phrase 'I still going' is incorrect; use the simple present 'I still go' for habitual action. 'to park' should be plural or include an article: 'to parks' or 'to the park'; here 'parks' fits general meaning. 'I feel and I remember my childhood days' is awkward; replace with 'they remind me of my childhood' for clarity and correct tense and pronoun reference.

× It was so very enjoy and exciting and so much fun.

✓ It was very enjoyable and exciting and a lot of fun.

'Enjoy' is a verb; the adjective form 'enjoyable' is required to describe 'it'. 'So very' is redundant; 'very' or 'so' is enough. 'So much fun' can be rephrased as 'a lot of fun' to be natural. Maintain past tense 'was' for childhood.

× Yes, because I see the park is very nice and enjoy environment and it affects my.

✓ Yes, because I think the park is very nice and has an enjoyable environment, and it affects me positively.

'I see' is literal and unnatural here; use 'I think' or 'I find'. 'Enjoy environment' mixes verb and noun; use 'an enjoyable environment' (adjective + noun). 'It affects my.' is incomplete and missing an object; specify 'me' and optionally 'positively' to complete the idea.

× My feelings to be.

✓ It improves my mood.

The fragment 'My feelings to be' is ungrammatical and lacks a verb structure. Replace with a complete clause such as 'It improves my mood' to convey how parks influence feelings.

× Yes, but I don't know exactly what part it is.

✓ Yes, but I don't know exactly which park it is.

'What part it is' is incorrect for referring to a park; use 'which park' to ask about identity. Maintain present tense 'don't know'.

× But yeah, I want to go someday because it reminds me of my childhood and it is relaxing and so much fun that you will see around.

✓ But yes, I want to go someday because it reminds me of my childhood; it is relaxing and a lot of fun to explore.

'Yeah' can be replaced by 'yes' for formality. 'It reminds' is present tense and acceptable because it's a general truth, but connect sentences better with a semicolon. 'So much fun that you will see around' is unclear and awkward; change to 'a lot of fun to explore' to clearly express intention. Ensure future intention 'want to go someday' is preserved.