Parks— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Be more concise and correct grammar; avoid fillers (uh), correct plural/singular and article use, and use clear vocabulary. Start with a direct topic sentence, then add one or two specific supporting details using linking words. Keep to under five sentences.

예시: Yes, I loved going to parks as a child. I often went with my sister and we would run across the lawn, watch the fish in the pond, and climb a small hill. Those activities felt like a little adventure and made us very happy.

제안: Improve grammar (verb forms, prepositions), be specific about reasons and use linking words. Begin with a clear topic sentence, then explain when and why you go with one or two concrete details. Remove hesitations and keep sentences fluent.

예시: Yes, I still enjoy going to parks. When I feel tired after a walk or a busy day, I go to the nearest park to sit for a while because the greenery and quiet help me relax.

제안: Be precise with vocabulary (ponds, lawns), avoid fillers, and give a brief reason with a linking word. State preference first, then give specific features you want and why they matter.

예시: Yes, I would like more parks in my city, especially those with many trees, ponds, and lawns, because green spaces help people relax and encourage outdoor recreation.

제안: Organize answer: state intention clearly, use correct tense, and give a concise reason and plan. Use linking words (because, so) and avoid repetition. Keep it within four sentences.

예시: Yes, I want to return to Beijing Park in Tianjin. I visited last October and took photos, and this time I plan to go with my mother so we can take more pictures together and enjoy the autumn leaves and the peaceful pond.

× When I was a little girl, I usually went to the park with my other sister.

✓ When I was a little girl, I usually went to the park with my sister.

'My other sister' is unnatural in English when referring to a sibling; use 'my sister' unless distinguishing between multiple sisters (e.g. 'my other sister' would imply more than one sister and a specific contrast). Use 'my sister' for the typical meaning.

× We like running around the, uh, the lawn and uh, and the fat, the fish in the pond and we like to climb the little mountain.

✓ We liked running around the lawn, watching the fat fish in the pond, and climbing the small hill.

Verb tense should match past context ('liked' rather than 'like'). Remove filler words and duplicated 'the'. 'Little mountain' is unnatural for a park feature; 'small hill' is more idiomatic. Use parallel verb forms (running, watching, climbing) for list consistency.

× Those activities make us happy because it's feel like we are having an adventure.

✓ Those activities made us happy because it felt like we were having an adventure.

The context is past, so verbs should be past tense: 'made', 'felt', 'were'. 'It's feel' is ungrammatical: subject 'it' with 'felt' (past) and plural 'we' requires 'were'.

× Yes, I like to go to the park.

✓ Yes, I like going to the park.

Both forms are possible, but 'like going' is more natural when describing a habitual preference. No tense mismatch here, but 'like going' fits spoken usage better.

× I usually go to the park when I'm tired, maybe about a walk and maybe about some people around me.

✓ I usually go to the park when I'm tired, to take a walk and to be around other people.

Use infinitives 'to take' and 'to be' to express purpose. 'Maybe about a walk' is ungrammatical; 'to take a walk' is correct. 'Some people around me' should be 'to be around other people' for clarity.

× Then I'll go to the nearest park and just sitting for a while.

✓ Then I'll go to the nearest park and just sit for a while.

After 'I'll' use the base verb 'sit' not the -ing form 'sitting'. The structure is 'will + base verb' for future actions.

× Then the greens scene will makes me relax.

✓ Then the green scenery will make me relaxed.

'Greens scene' is incorrect; use 'green scenery' or 'green surroundings'. 'Will makes' is wrong: after 'will' use base verb 'make'. Depending on meaning, 'make me relaxed' or 'help me relax' are correct; 'make me relaxed' matches grammar.

× Yes, I'd like to see more parks in my city, uh, especially ones with lots of trees and the pounds and the lines, because I think the, uh, green things always make people feel relaxed and can inspire their, uh, recreation.

✓ Yes, I'd like to see more parks in my city, especially ones with lots of trees, ponds, and lawns, because I think green spaces always help people feel relaxed and can inspire recreation.

Use nouns 'ponds' and 'lawns' not 'pounds' or 'lines'. 'Green things' is vague; 'green spaces' is idiomatic. 'Can inspire their recreation' is odd; 'inspire recreation' or 'inspire people to relax' is clearer. Use parallel noun list and correct word forms.

× Yes, I like to go to the Beijing Park situated in Tianjin.

✓ Yes, I'd like to go to Beijing Park in Tianjin.

Context asks about future desire; use 'I'd like to go' (conditional/future intention) rather than simple present 'I like to go'. 'Beijing Park situated in Tianjin' is wordy; 'Beijing Park in Tianjin' is concise.

× I went there last October and took some photographs and this time I like I'd like to take my mom together because I want to take more photos with her and share my happiness to see the beautiful autumn leaves and the peaceful pond.

✓ I went there last October and took some photographs, and this time I'd like to take my mom with me because I want to take more photos with her and share my happiness in seeing the beautiful autumn leaves and the peaceful pond.

Maintain tense consistency and correct phrasing: 'this time I'd like' (not 'I like I'd like'). Use 'take my mom with me' for going together. 'Share my happiness to see' is incorrect; use 'share my happiness in seeing' or 'share the joy of seeing'. Punctuation and conjunctions improved for clarity.