Parks— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Be more concise and fluent: avoid filler words (uh, umm) and combine ideas into a clear topic sentence plus one or two specific supporting details. Use linking words like 'because' to show reason. Also correct small grammar issues (e.g., 'there were no nice parks' is fine but speak smoothly).

예시: I didn't enjoy visiting parks as a child because there were no nice parks near our home. Instead, I preferred staying indoors to watch television or finish my school homework.

제안: Focus on producing a clear, grammatically correct statement and add a specific supporting detail. Remove redundancies ('nowadays, at the present time') and fillers. Use linking words like 'because' or 'so' to explain why you enjoy parks now. Also finish your sentences fully.

예시: Yes, I enjoy going to parks now because I am a mother of three and I like taking my children there to play and get fresh air. For example, we often spend an hour on the swings and have a picnic together.

제안: Give a direct topic sentence and one or two specific reasons. Avoid hesitations and repeated fragments. Use linking words such as 'because' or 'for example' and complete your final thought. Mention concrete benefits (health, community space) to strengthen the answer.

예시: Absolutely. I would like to see more parks in my city because they provide safe outdoor spaces for children to play and help build a stronger community. For example, families with toddlers could meet regularly and children would get more exercise.

제안: Provide a clear, complete response naming a specific park or type of park and explain why you want to visit using linking words. Remove repetitions and finish your thought. If you don't know specific names, say 'parks closer to our town' and give concrete reasons (scenery, facilities, family activities).

예시: Yes, I would love to visit parks closer to our town to compare their scenery and facilities. For instance, I want to try a larger park with walking trails and playgrounds so my children can explore nature and I can enjoy a relaxing walk.

× To be honest, I didn't enjoy, uh, visiting parks when I was a child.

✓ To be honest, I didn't enjoy visiting parks when I was a child.

This sentence is correct in tense but has an unnecessary comma interrupting the verb phrase. Remove the comma to maintain natural past-tense structure and fluency.

× Nowadays, at the present time, I would love going to parks especially I'm a mother of three.

✓ Nowadays, I love going to parks, especially because I'm a mother of three.

The original mixes 'would love' (conditional) with a present-time adverb 'nowadays', creating tense inconsistency. Use simple present 'I love' to match 'nowadays'. Add 'because' to link the reasons and include a comma before the adjective clause for clarity.

× I now enjoying spending, umm, spending time going to parks with my kids.

✓ I now enjoy spending time going to parks with my kids.

After subject 'I' and auxiliary 'now' the main verb requires base form with correct auxiliary: use 'enjoy' not 'enjoying'. Remove the repeated 'spending'. This fixes verb form and redundancy.

× They really I.

✓ They really enjoy it.

Original fragment lacks a verb and object, making it ungrammatical. Supply a verb and object to form a complete sentence: 'They really enjoy it.' This matches the intended meaning that the children enjoy parks.

× If there, if the government is planning to put up more parks in our city, that is a good thing for us, especially for families with toddlers.

✓ If the government plans to build more parks in our city, that would be a good thing for us, especially for families with toddlers.

Original has disfluent repetition 'If there, if' and mixes present continuous 'is planning' with a general conditional result. Use 'plans' or 'is planning' consistently and pair with appropriate result clause: 'would be' expresses the conditional result. Also replace 'put up' with more natural 'build'.

× It's a great, it's a great chance for.

✓ It's a great opportunity for families to spend time outdoors.

Original repeats phrase and is an incomplete sentence ending with 'for'. Provide a complete noun phrase 'opportunity for families to spend time outdoors' to finish the thought and avoid repetition.

× I would love to go to. Parks closer to our town just to see how different it is it is to experience how to get out from the.

✓ I would love to go to parks closer to our town just to experience how different they are and to get away from the town.

Original contains sentence fragments, repetition 'it is it is', and an incomplete prepositional phrase 'get out from the'. Combine into one coherent sentence, correct pronoun agreement ('they are' for plural 'parks'), and use natural phrasing 'get away from the town'.