Parks— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Be more natural and accurate: correct grammar (singular/plural, verb forms), avoid fillers (uh), use a clear topic sentence then 1–2 specific supporting details with linking words. Keep to under five sentences.

예시: Yes, I loved going to parks with my grandmother. She took me on morning walks every day and introduced me to her friends, which helped me improve my communication skills. As a result, I made many childhood friends there.

제안: Improve fluency and accuracy: use articles and plural forms correctly, shorten long sentences, and add a linking word for coherence. Mention one specific activity you do there.

예시: Definitely. As a dietitian, I go to parks to stay fit and relax. For example, I usually jog for 30 minutes and sometimes meet old friends, which makes the visits enjoyable.

제안: Focus on clarity and grammar: use correct nouns and articles (high-rise buildings, the outskirts), avoid vague phrases (our regulatory). Provide one clear reason and one specific suggestion to improve coherence.

예시: Yes, I would. My city is overcrowded and many green spaces have been replaced by high-rise buildings, so people lack places to exercise and breathe fresh air. Therefore, the local authorities should develop recreational parks on the outskirts to relieve congestion.

제안: Be concise and precise: correct phrasing (interested in exploring, saw videos about), avoid unclear terms (hybrid cats? rural and regulation). Give one or two specific reasons why you want to visit, using linking words.

예시: Yes, I want to visit a Natural Park in Gujarat. I have seen videos about its conservation work for endangered species, and I would like to learn more about their habitat restoration efforts and eco-tourism initiatives.

× I enjoyed visiting park, especially with my grandmother.

✓ I enjoyed visiting parks, especially with my grandmother.

The noun 'park' needs to be plural or use an article. In this context 'visiting parks' (general habit) is correct. Alternatively 'visiting the park' would work for a specific park. Use plural for general reference.

× Moreover, she used to take me daily on a morning walk and uh introduced me all her friends so that I can develop good communication skills.

✓ Moreover, she used to take me daily on morning walks and introduced me to all her friends so that I could develop good communication skills.

Mixed tense and incorrect verb patterns: 'used to take' is past habitual, so plural 'morning walks' matches habitual action; 'introduced me all her friends' is missing preposition 'to' and should be past 'introduced' plus 'could' not 'can' to keep past perspective. Use 'could' for ability in the past.

× And in addition to this, I have made lots of friends over there.

✓ And in addition to this, I made lots of friends over there.

The student is describing past experiences as a child, so simple past 'made' is more consistent than present perfect 'have made'. Use present perfect for life experiences relevant now, but here context is childhood.

× Definitely yes, being a dietitian I enjoy going to park and keeping myself fit and healthy because I want to keep myself more presentable and going to park really helps me to unwind and sometimes I bump into my old friends also.

✓ Definitely yes. Being a dietitian, I enjoy going to parks and keeping myself fit and healthy because I want to stay presentable. Going to the park really helps me unwind, and sometimes I bump into my old friends.

Use plural 'parks' for general activities or 'the park' for a specific place; sentence run-ons need splitting. Repetition 'keep myself' and 'more presentable' awkward — 'stay presentable' is concise. Remove unnecessary 'also' and adjust commas for clarity.

× My city has become overcrowded and most of the green space is replaced by high riser buildings.

✓ My city has become overcrowded and most of the green space has been replaced by high-rise buildings.

'Green space' is countable/uncountable but pairing with 'most of the' is fine; passive construction needs perfect 'has been replaced' to indicate change. 'High riser' is incorrect — use adjective-noun 'high-rise buildings'.

× People are struggling to find a suitable place for exercise and breathing clean air and I'm hopeful that our regulatory will create some recreational spaces in the outskirts of city.

✓ People are struggling to find a suitable place to exercise and breathe clean air, and I'm hopeful that our regulators will create some recreational spaces on the outskirts of the city.

Use infinitive 'to exercise' and base verb 'breathe' after 'to'. 'Regulatory' is an adjective; the noun 'regulators' fits. Preposition 'on the outskirts' is standard and include definite article 'the city'.

× I'm highly interested to explore Natural Park which is situated in Gujarat and I saw lots of video regarding its preservation effort for endangered species as well as some hybrid cats and I really want to explore about the rural and regulation there.

✓ I'm very interested in exploring Natural Park, which is situated in Gujarat. I saw many videos about its preservation efforts for endangered species and some hybrid cats, and I really want to learn about the local culture and regulations there.

After 'interested' use 'in' + gerund ('interested in exploring'). 'Lots of video' should be 'many videos'. Use 'about' not 'regarding' for clarity, plural 'efforts'. 'Explore about' is incorrect — use 'learn about'. 'Rural' as noun is incorrect; likely 'local culture' or 'rural life'. 'Regulation' should be plural 'regulations'.

× Moreover, it has become a tourist point these days.

✓ Moreover, it has become a tourist spot these days.

'Tourist point' is not idiomatic; 'tourist spot' or 'tourist attraction' is correct. Present perfect 'has become' is acceptable with 'these days'.