Parks— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Be more natural, concise and grammatically correct. Start with a clear topic sentence, then add one or two specific supporting details using linking words. Avoid redundant phrases like “as far as I can remember in my nostalgia” and incorrect word forms (e.g. 'park placements').

예시: Yes — I loved going to parks as a child. For example, my family used to visit a small park every weekend where we played on the grass and had picnics, so most of my evenings were spent running around and playing games.

제안: Make the answer direct and correct grammar; use linking words to contrast past and present. Avoid repetition and fix awkward phrases like 'in my it's not in my priority.'

예시: Yes, I still like going to parks, but not as much as I did as a child. Nowadays I mainly go there to jog or exercise, so visiting parks is enjoyable but not a top priority for me.

제안: Be specific about the city name and reasons, use complete sentences and linking phrases. Avoid filler words like 'uh' and fragmented sentences. Explain clearly how parks would help (e.g. reduce pollution, provide recreation).

예시: Yes, definitely — my city needs more green spaces. More parks would help reduce pollution, compensate for deforestation and give residents pleasant places to relax and exercise.

제안: Answer directly and avoid confusion. If you mean a theme park like Disneyland, say so clearly and give one or two reasons. Remove unclear phrases like 'one of the bug' and contradictory sentences.

예시: If theme parks count, I would love to visit Disneyland in the future because I enjoy the rides and the atmosphere. If you mean ordinary city parks, I don't have a specific one in mind but I would like to explore more botanical gardens and national parks.

× Like I enjoyed going to park as a child.

✓ Like I enjoyed going to the park as a child.

The noun 'park' needs the definite article 'the' because it refers to parks in general childhood context or a specific concept; use 'the park' rather than 'park'. Also 'Like' as a filler is acceptable speech but could be removed for formality.

× As far as I can remember in my nostalgia, parks play specific role in my memories and I believe we would go to the park placements, play on the grass and we just spend our entire evening in the park.

✓ As far as I can remember, parks play a specific role in my memories: we would go to the park, play on the grass, and spend our entire evenings there.

Multiple issues: unnecessary phrase 'in my nostalgia' and awkward wording 'park placements'. Insert article 'a' before 'specific role'. Use parallel verb forms 'go', 'play', 'spend' and correct tense consistency. Replace 'the park placements' with 'the park' and pluralize 'evening' to match repeated visits ('evenings'). Combine clauses for clarity.

× Yes I do, but not as much as I enjoy it visiting parks when I was a child.

✓ Yes I do, but not as much as I enjoyed visiting parks when I was a child.

Tense should match the childhood time frame: use past tense 'enjoyed' and remove the extra pronoun 'it'. The structure 'enjoy visiting' is correct; 'enjoy it visiting' is ungrammatical.

× Nowadays I go to park for jogging or exercise, not for playing.

✓ Nowadays I go to the park for jogging or exercise, not for playing.

Use definite article 'the' before 'park' when referring to parks generally in habitual actions. Also 'for playing' is grammatical but 'to play' could be more natural: 'not to play'.

× So I believe that I do enjoy going there, but not in my it's not in my priority.

✓ So I believe that I do enjoy going there, but it's not a priority for me.

Original contains repetition and broken structure 'not in my it's not in my priority'. Rephrase to 'it's not a priority for me' which is idiomatic. Use article 'a' with 'priority'.

× Yes, definitely Mercedes needs more greenery and scenic beauties.

✓ Yes, definitely my city needs more greenery and scenic beauty.

'Mercedes' is likely a misuse or mispronunciation; if referring to the city, use 'my city'. 'Scenic beauties' is odd—use the uncountable noun 'scenic beauty'.

× In terms of recurring pollution and deforestation.

✓ There is recurring pollution and deforestation.

Original is a sentence fragment. Complete it by introducing a verb: 'There is' explains the existence of pollution and deforestation. This fixes the sentence lacking a main verb.

× I believe that uh a good park or a good Meadow like beauty would improve the scenery and provide better place for people to relax and exercise.

✓ I believe that a good park or a meadow-like area would improve the scenery and provide a better place for people to relax and exercise.

Avoid filler 'uh'. Use 'a' before 'good park' and 'meadow-like' as a compound adjective with hyphen; 'area' clarifies meaning. Add article 'a' before 'better place'. This fixes adjective formation and article omissions.

× Does Disneyland count? Because that's one of the bug that it's in my bucket list.

✓ Does Disneyland count? Because that's one of the things on my bucket list.

'Bug' is incorrect; use 'things'. 'On my bucket list' is the correct prepositional phrase; avoid 'it's in my bucket list'. Also 'one of the things' requires plural noun 'things'.

× So yeah, I would definitely love to visit that.

✓ So yeah, I would definitely love to visit it.

'That' can be used, but 'it' is more natural when referring to Disneyland. No major grammar error, but pronoun choice improved for clarity.

× In contrast to that, any park that I would like to visit would be no, nothing.

✓ In contrast, there are no other parks I would like to visit.

Original is ungrammatical and unclear. Rephrase to a clear negative statement: 'there are no other parks I would like to visit.' This corrects pronoun and sentence structure errors and removes awkward 'no, nothing'.