Parks— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Be clearer and correct grammatical errors. Start with a direct topic sentence, then add one or two specific supporting details using linking words. Keep it under five sentences and avoid repetition. Correct vocabulary (e.g., "slide" not "slice") and verb forms ("we often spent" not "I we often spend").

예시: Yes, I loved going to parks as a child. For example, my friends and I would spend whole afternoons playing on the slide and swings and having picnics. Because of that, the park was my favorite place to be active and social.

제안: Fix grammar and choose natural expressions. Begin with a clear topic sentence, then give a brief reason and a contrast using linking words. Replace awkward phrases ("playing out acquirement", "nearly") with natural words like "playground" and "nearby". Keep sentences concise.

예시: Not really. I rarely go to parks now because my schedule has changed and I'm usually too busy. However, when I want fresh air, I prefer a short walk nearby rather than spending a long time at the park.

제안: Make sentences more natural and correct collocations. Start with a direct answer, then give two clear specific reasons linked with connectors like "because" or "so". Correct vocabulary ("rapid urban development" not "rapid Congress development") and phrasing ("leave" or "lack" of outdoor space).

예시: Yes, I would. Because heavy traffic and rapid urban development have reduced outdoor space, introducing more parks would improve air quality and provide peaceful areas for relaxation. In addition, parks would give residents places to jog, cycle and meet friends.

제안: Provide a specific park and a clear reason. Use correct verb forms and natural phrasing. Keep it to two or three sentences: name the park or type of park, say why you want to go, and mention an activity using linking words.

예시: Yes. I would like to visit the large riverside park near my home because it has a well-maintained running track. If I have time, I prefer to run or cycle there to relax and exercise.

× When I was a child I loved going to the park to play on the slice and swings with my friends because it's what a great place to be active and run around.

✓ When I was a child I loved going to the park to play on the slide and swings with my friends because it was a great place to be active and run around.

Error: 'it's what a great place' uses present tense and incorrect structure; 'slice' is a typo for 'slide'. Correction uses past tense 'was' to match 'When I was a child' and fixes the noun. Suggestion: Maintain consistent past tense for past habits and check spelling of 'slide'.

× I we often spend whole afternoon there playing games and having picnics, so I have many.

✓ I often spent whole afternoons there playing games and having picnics, so I have many memories.

Errors: extraneous 'we'; incorrect verb form 'spend' (should be past 'spent') and singular 'afternoon' should be plural 'afternoons' for habitual repeated events; sentence ends with 'so I have many' which is incomplete. Correction makes tense consistent (past habitual), removes 'we', pluralizes 'afternoons', and completes the thought with 'memories'. Suggestion: Remove unintended words, match tense, and complete noun phrases.

× I don't really go to the parks much these days because my schedule have changed and I'm usually too busy because I feel a little bit too old to use the playing out acquirement.

✓ I don't really go to parks much these days because my schedule has changed and I'm usually too busy, and I feel a little too old to use the playground equipment.

Errors: 'the parks' is odd here; 'parks' (general) preferred. 'my schedule have changed' is subject-verb agreement (should be 'has'). Phrase 'playing out acquirement' is incorrect word choice; intended 'playground equipment'. Correction fixes article usage, verb agreement, and replaces awkward phrase. Suggestion: Use 'parks' for general reference, ensure subject and verb agree, and use correct collocations like 'playground equipment'.

× So when I do want fresh air I prefer a short walk nearly rather than staying in the park for long.

✓ So when I want fresh air I prefer a short walk nearby rather than staying in the park for long.

Errors: unnecessary 'do' in 'do want' for simple present preference; 'nearly' is incorrect choice — should be adverb 'nearby'. Correction removes auxiliary 'do' and uses 'nearby' to indicate location. Suggestion: For preferences use simple present 'I want' and choose correct adverb 'nearby'.

× Yes, I would like to see more parks in my city because currently heavy traffic and rapid Congress development have we do it outdoor space.

✓ Yes, I would like to see more parks in my city because currently heavy traffic and rapid urban development have reduced outdoor space.

Errors: 'rapid Congress development' is incorrect collocation; likely 'urban development'. 'have we do it outdoor space' is ungrammatical; intended 'have reduced outdoor space'. Correction replaces phrase with 'urban development' and structures clause correctly using 'have reduced'. Suggestion: Use accurate collocations ('urban development') and ensure verbs and objects form a coherent clause.

× Introducing more urban greenery would improve air quality, provide pre peaceful area for relaxation and create place where residents can jog, cycle and meet with friends.

✓ Introducing more urban greenery would improve air quality, provide peaceful areas for relaxation, and create places where residents can jog, cycle, and meet with friends.

Errors: 'pre peaceful area' contains stray 'pre' and wrong singular forms. Need plural 'areas' and 'places' to match generality. Also add comma before 'and' for clarity. Suggestion: Remove stray words, use plural nouns for general statements, and ensure parallel structure in lists.

× Yes there are. I would like to go to the jog around the park if I have much time to go and I prefer running and cycle around the park that they have.

✓ Yes, there are. I would like to jog around the park if I have enough time, and I prefer running and cycling around the park when I can.

Errors: 'go to the jog' is incorrect verb-noun combination; use 'jog'. 'much time' should be 'enough time' for ability. 'prefer running and cycle' mixes verb forms; use 'running and cycling' (parallel gerunds). 'around the park that they have' is awkward; replace with 'around the park when I can'. Suggestion: Use correct verb forms, ensure parallel gerund forms, and choose appropriate quantifiers like 'enough'.