Parks— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Clarify pronouns, remove fillers, correct grammar and keep answer concise (max 5 sentences). Start with a clear topic sentence, then give one or two specific supporting details using linking words. Focus on correct verb forms and article usage.

예시: Yes, I loved going to the local park with my grandmother when I was a child. She took me there every morning for walks, and she introduced me to many of her friends, which helped me improve my communication skills. As a result, I made several close friends who I played with regularly.

제안: Be more concise and correct grammar (subject-verb agreement, articles). Use linking words for coherence and give one specific example or result. Avoid vague comparisons like "far more convenient as compared to any other exercise."

예시: Yes, I still enjoy going to parks. As a dietitian, I appreciate that walking in a park is convenient and relaxing; moreover, the green space and fresh air make my workout more enjoyable. For example, last weekend I met an old colleague while walking and we planned a group hike.

제안: Keep the answer direct and use precise vocabulary (e.g., "high-rise buildings"). Use linking words to show cause and effect and provide a concrete suggestion or example of what kind of parks are needed.

예시: Yes, I would. My city has become overcrowded over the last decade, so much green space has been replaced by high-rise buildings, which means residents struggle to find places to exercise. Therefore, I hope the city creates more small community parks with walking paths and playgrounds.

제안: Correct grammar and complete ideas; avoid vague phrases and unfinished sentences. Use a clear topic sentence, then give two specific reasons why you want to visit, using linking words. Be accurate with vocabulary (e.g., "videos", "protecting endangered species").

예시: Yes, I would like to visit Nature Park in Gujarat. I have seen many videos showing that the park protects endangered species and participates in conservation programs, and I am especially interested in learning how they care for rare cats and manage their habitats.

× He used to take me daily to uh, the nearby park for a morning walk as well as she introduced me lots of her local friends so that I can develop a good communication skill and I also had a made number of friends there.

✓ She used to take me daily to the nearby park for a morning walk, and she introduced me to many of her local friends so that I could develop good communication skills; I also made a number of friends there.

The student mixed pronouns 'He' and 'she' for the grandmother; use a single correct pronoun 'She'. 'Introduced me lots of her local friends' needs preposition 'to' and 'lots of' is informal; use 'many of her local friends'. 'Can' should be backshifed to 'could' for past context. 'A made number of friends' is ungrammatical; use 'made a number of friends' or 'made many friends'. Also pluralize 'skills' and remove filler 'uh'. Suggestions: keep consistent pronouns, use correct prepositions, backshift modal verbs in past narrative, and use standard collocations like 'made friends'.

× I practice what I preach, especially being a dietitian and it is really far more convenient as compared to any other exercise because going to park not only helps me to unwind but also provide me lots of green space where I can breathe in clean air.

✓ I practice what I preach, especially as a dietitian, and it is far more convenient than other forms of exercise because going to the park not only helps me unwind but also provides me with a lot of green space where I can breathe clean air.

Errors: 'being a dietitian' is awkward; use 'as a dietitian'. 'Far more convenient as compared to any other exercise' should be 'far more convenient than other forms of exercise'. Missing article 'the' before 'park'. Subject-verb agreement: 'going to the park... also provide' should be 'provides'. 'Provide me lots of' needs preposition 'with' and 'lots of' -> 'a lot of'. Remove unnecessary 'in' after 'breathe'. Suggestions: use correct comparative structure 'than', include articles, ensure subject-verb agreement, and use proper prepositions ('with').

× Sometimes I also run into my old friends.

✓ Sometimes I also run into my old friends.

This sentence is grammatically correct. 'Run into' is a phrasal verb in present simple and appropriately used to describe habitual actions. No correction needed.

× Most of the green space is taken by high riser buildings and people are really struggling to find a space where they can do their daily exercise and I am really hopeful that there will be some more space dedicated for exercise.

✓ Most of the green space has been taken by high-rise buildings, and people are really struggling to find space where they can do their daily exercise; I am hopeful that more space will be dedicated to exercise.

Errors: 'high riser buildings' is incorrect; correct adjective 'high-rise buildings'. Tense: use present perfect 'has been taken' to show change over time. 'Find a space' -> 'find space' is more natural. 'Some more space dedicated for exercise' should be 'more space will be dedicated to exercise' and preposition 'to' not 'for'. Suggestions: use correct compound adjectives, appropriate tense for recent changes, and correct prepositions ('dedicated to').

× I'm highly interested to explore Nature's Park which is situated in Gujarat.

✓ I'm very interested in exploring Nature's Park, which is situated in Gujarat.

'Interested to explore' is non-idiomatic; use 'interested in exploring'. Use 'very' rather than 'highly' in this context for naturalness. 'Which is situated in Gujarat' is fine. Suggestion: use 'interested in' + gerund for preferences and 'exploring' as the gerund form.

× I saw countless video about it, it not only taking care of some endangered species but also preserving some hybrid cats and I am very much enthusiastic to know about their role and regulation for keeping these animals safe and providing the daily.

✓ I saw countless videos about it; it not only takes care of some endangered species but also preserves some hybrid cats, and I am very enthusiastic to learn about their roles and regulations for keeping these animals safe and providing for their daily needs.

Multiple errors: 'countless video' should be plural 'videos'. Run-on sentence; separate with semicolon or conjunction. 'It not only taking care' needs finite verb 'takes' and subject-verb agreement. 'Preserving some hybrid cats' -> 'preserves some hybrid cats' to match tense. 'Very much enthusiastic to know about' is awkward; use 'very enthusiastic to learn about'. 'Their role and regulation' should be plural 'roles and regulations'. 'Providing the daily' is incomplete; complete as 'providing for their daily needs'. Suggestions: pluralize nouns, use correct verb forms and agreement, avoid run-on sentences, and complete noun phrases.