Parks— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Câu trả lời đã rõ ý và có hai lý do, nhưng cần sửa ngữ pháp (thời thì, số nhiều/số ít), dùng từ chính xác hơn và làm câu mạch lạc bằng liên từ. Tránh viết tắt số thứ tự kiểu “2nd”, và điều chỉnh thời gian (I usually spent an hour). Nên dùng tối đa 3–4 câu, mỗi câu rõ ràng.

예시: Yes, I loved going to parks when I was a child for two main reasons. First, I enjoyed the joyful atmosphere because you could hear children laughing and everyone seemed happy. In addition, the parks were free, so my family and I visited them often and I usually spent an hour playing there.

제안: Ý chính rõ ràng và mạch lạc nhưng cần chỉnh thì cho phù hợp (past vs present) và dùng liên từ mượt hơn. Tăng tính cụ thể bằng cách nêu lí do tại sao công viên không còn hấp dẫn (ví dụ: quá đông, thiếu hoạt động cho người lớn). Giữ độ dài dưới 5 câu.

예시: Not really. As I grew up, I found parks less suitable for me because they no longer offer the relaxed atmosphere I enjoyed; they are often crowded and noisy. Therefore, I prefer staying indoors and spending time on hobbies such as listening to music or drawing.

제안: Câu trả lời có ý tốt nhưng nhiều lỗi ngữ pháp, từ bị viết sai (parts → parks), động từ và mạo từ sai, cấu trúc lủng củng. Cần dùng từ vựng chính xác, cấu trúc câu đơn giản và thêm ví dụ cụ thể về lợi ích (cải thiện sức khỏe, không gian xanh). Giữ 2–3 câu và dùng linking words như 'because' hoặc 'for example'.

예시: Definitely. I would like to see more parks in my city because they make urban areas feel more lively and provide free recreational spaces for residents. For example, more parks would give children safe places to play and help improve people’s mental and physical health.

제안: Câu trả lời ngắn và có nhiều lỗi (thì, cấu trúc 'because of is picture square landscape', 'variety to choices' sai). Cần nói rõ lý do chọn công viên cụ thể với mô tả chi tiết và dùng tính từ đúng (picturesque landscape, a variety of entertainment options). Giữ cấu trúc: topic sentence + 1–2 supporting details.

예시: I haven't thought about it before, but if I had to choose, I would like to visit Barbie National Park because of its picturesque landscape and a variety of entertainment options. For instance, it reportedly has scenic walking trails and themed attractions that I would enjoy.

× First, I just enjoy the joyful atmosphere, like you could hear children laughing and everyone seemed happy.

✓ First, I just enjoyed the joyful atmosphere; you could hear children laughing and everyone seemed happy.

The sentence refers to past habit when the speaker was a child, so the verb 'enjoy' should be in the past simple 'enjoyed' to match the past timeframe. Use consistent past tense for actions and states in the same context. Suggestion: maintain past simple for descriptions of past experiences (I enjoyed, I could hear).

× 2nd, the parks were free so my family and I could just visit them often and I usually spend hour to play.

✓ Second, the parks were free so my family and I could just visit them often and I usually spent an hour to play.

Two issues: 'hour' needs the singular article 'an hour' and the tense should match past habitual action 'spent' rather than present 'spend'. Also '2nd' should be written as 'Second' in formal speech. Suggestion: use 'an hour' for single-hour durations and past simple for past habits.

× As I grew up I found a park just unsuitable for me anymore because I feel like they can't give me the same enjoyment that I used to have.

✓ As I grew up, I found parks just unsuitable for me anymore because I felt like they couldn't give me the same enjoyment that I used to have.

Tense consistency: the sentence begins in past ('grew up', 'found') so subsequent verbs should also be past ('felt', 'couldn't') rather than present. Also 'a park' is odd; plural 'parks' fits general meaning. Suggestion: keep past tense throughout when describing changes over time.

× So instead I prefer staying indoors and spending time on my hobbies like listening to music or drawing.

✓ So instead I preferred staying indoors and spending time on my hobbies like listening to music or drawing.

The context describes how preferences changed as the speaker grew up, so past tense 'preferred' is appropriate rather than present 'prefer'. Maintain tense consistency when relating past changes.

× Definitely yes because parts just not only make the city feel more lively but also an entertainment place which is provide people happiness and joyfulness.

✓ Definitely yes because parks not only make the city feel more lively but also provide people with happiness and joy.

Multiple errors: 'parts' is a typo for 'parks'; 'not only... but also' structure needed with parallel verbs; 'provide people with' is correct preposition use; 'is provide' is wrong verb form; 'joyfulness' is awkward—use 'joy'. Suggestion: use parallel structure and correct prepositions ('provide someone with something').

× And I hope organization in the future can build more park so children can have the memorable experience like me.

✓ And I hope organizations in the future can build more parks so children can have memorable experiences like me.

Countable nouns need plural/singular agreement and appropriate articles: 'organization' should be plural 'organizations' or 'the organization'; 'more park' should be 'more parks'; 'the memorable experience' is better as plural 'memorable experiences'. Suggestion: use plural forms when speaking generally about multiple entities or opportunities.

× Well, I have never thought about that before, but if I had to choose I would like to choose Barbie National Park because of is picture square landscape and variety to choices of entertainment.

✓ Well, I had never thought about that before, but if I had to choose I would choose Barbie National Park because of its picturesque landscape and variety of entertainment choices.

Tense: when talking about a past period, 'had never thought' is appropriate, but present perfect 'have never thought' can be acceptable; however 'had never thought' fits the past context. Grammar issues: 'would like to choose' is redundant—use 'would choose'; 'is picture square' is incorrect—should be 'its picturesque'; 'variety to choices of entertainment' should be 'variety of entertainment choices'. Suggestion: simplify conditional phrasing and use correct adjective forms ('picturesque') and prepositions ('variety of').