Parks— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Your answer is relevant and includes specific memories, which is good. However, grammar errors (e.g., "me my parents", "because it. Created"), awkward phrasing, and some redundancy reduce clarity. Keep answers within 3–4 clear sentences: start with a direct topic sentence, then add one or two supporting details using linking words (for example, "because" or "so"). Also fix pronoun order and sentence fragments.

예시: Yes, I enjoyed going to parks as a child. My parents often took me to playgrounds, and I would spend hours playing on the swings and slides while making friends. Because of these visits, I became more outgoing and improved my social skills.

제안: Good content: you explain frequency, activities, and feelings. Improve grammar and cohesion: correct phrases like "whenever I get to time" to "when I have time", remove repetitions ("it helps me relax" and "it just feels relaxing"), and combine related points with linking words (e.g., "so", "because"). Keep to max 4 sentences.

예시: I don't go to parks very often nowadays, but I visit when I have time. Usually I walk or sit on a bench to observe nature because it helps me relax. I also enjoy going with my family or friends since their company makes the visits more pleasant.

제안: Your idea is clear, but sentence structure and vocabulary mistakes reduce coherence (e.g., "there's not a lot of parks", "it would. Tell them to have"). Use correct grammar ("there aren't many parks"), avoid fragments, and support your opinion with one clear reason and an example. Use linking words like "because" or "for example."

예시: Yes, I would like more parks because our city has few green spaces and is dominated by buildings and roads. More parks would give people, especially children, a safe place to play and help neighbours meet each other, which could improve social skills.

제안: This answer is mostly clear and provides a specific example (Taiwan). Improve naturalness by fixing awkward phrasing ("wherein they have different environment") and avoid redundancy ("different environment and a different atmosphere"). Use concise linking words ("for example", "because") and keep to 3–4 sentences.

예시: Yes, I would like to visit more parks in the future, especially abroad because they often have different scenery and climates. For example, parks in Taiwan seem more tranquil and cooler, so I think visiting them would help me relax and experience a different atmosphere.

× As a kid back then when me my parents used to take me to playgrounds, I always played a lot and I took my time to make friends and to play around with the swings and slides.

✓ As a kid back then when my parents used to take me to playgrounds, I always played a lot and I took my time to make friends and to play on the swings and slides.

The pronoun sequence 'me my parents' is incorrect; it should be 'my parents'. Also the verb collocation is 'play on the swings and slides' rather than 'play around with the swings and slides'. Use correct possessive pronoun and appropriate preposition for playground equipment. Suggestion: say 'when my parents took me' for simpler past consistency.

× And moreover, it was really fun for me as a child to go to parks, especially with my parents because it. Created more time for us and it helped me improve my social skills as I still developed.

✓ Moreover, it was really fun for me as a child to go to parks, especially with my parents, because it created more time for us and helped me improve my social skills as I developed.

The original has a sentence fragment ('because it. Created') and awkward tense/use ('as I still developed'). Combine clauses properly and use past tense 'created' and 'developed' for completed actions. Remove the period that breaks the sentence. Suggestion: keep consistent past tense and avoid unnecessary words like 'still' here.

× Nowadays I don't go often to parks but whenever I get to time I do visit.

✓ Nowadays I don't go to parks often, but whenever I have time I visit them.

Word order 'go often to parks' is unnatural; place adverb 'often' after the verb or rephrase. 'Get to time' is incorrect; use 'have time'. Also include the object 'them' or repeat 'parks' to be clear. Suggestion: 'I don't go to parks often' or 'I rarely go to parks'.

× Most of the time I just walk around and sit in benches just to enjoy and observe nature.

✓ Most of the time I just walk around and sit on benches to enjoy and observe nature.

Use preposition 'on' with 'sit' and plural 'benches' fits context. Remove redundant 'just' to improve clarity. Suggestion: 'sit on benches to enjoy nature'.

× My family and friends, it just feels relaxing and it's nice that I get to enjoy their company and the company of nature.

✓ When I'm with my family and friends, it feels relaxing, and it's nice that I get to enjoy their company and the company of nature.

Starting with 'My family and friends, it...' creates a mismatched subject; rephrase to 'When I'm with my family and friends' to make subject and verb agree. Remove extra 'just' for concision. Suggestion: ensure the sentence has a clear subject that matches the verb.

× I'd like to see more parks in my city, especially because there's not a lot of parks to visit around here.

✓ I'd like to see more parks in my city, especially because there aren't many parks to visit around here.

Use plural agreement with 'parks' and correct quantifier: 'there's not a lot of parks' is informal and ungrammatical; use 'there aren't many parks' or 'there aren't a lot of parks'. 'There are' matches the plural noun. Suggestion: use 'many' for countable plural nouns in negative contexts.

× It's mostly populated with buildings and roads, so there wasn't much space to build parks.

✓ It's mostly populated with buildings and roads, so there isn't much space to build parks.

Context discusses current state of the city; use present tense 'isn't' rather than past 'wasn't'. Keep tense consistent with present description. Suggestion: match tense to the time frame being described.

× I think that building more parks in our city would improve people's social skills, and it would. Tell them to have a safe place to run to, especially in the busy St. and the busy city.

✓ I think that building more parks in our city would improve people's social skills and give them a safe place to go, especially in the busy streets of the city.

The original contains a broken sentence ('and it would. Tell them') and awkward phrasing 'busy St. and the busy city'. Combine ideas into one coherent sentence and use appropriate verbs: 'give them a safe place to go' and 'busy streets of the city'. Suggestion: avoid sentence fragments and clarify 'St.' to 'streets'.

× Generally parks are relaxing and I enjoy visiting them, so yes, I'd want to go to more parks in the future.

✓ Generally, parks are relaxing and I enjoy visiting them, so yes, I'd like to go to more parks in the future.

Use 'I'd like' instead of 'I'd want' for polite preference. Add comma after introductory adverb 'Generally'. Grammar otherwise acceptable. Suggestion: use 'I'd like' for preferences.

× More specifically in other countries wherein they have different environment and a different atmosphere compared to my hometown.

✓ More specifically, in other countries where they have a different environment and atmosphere compared to my hometown.

'Wherein' is formal and awkward here; use 'where'. Add comma after introductory phrase. Use 'a different environment and atmosphere' or drop extra article for parallelism. Suggestion: use 'where' for locations and ensure parallel structure.

× For example, in Taiwan, I think the parks there are more soothing and their atmosphere is much cooler, so it would help me relax more.

✓ For example, in Taiwan, I think the parks are more soothing and the atmosphere is much cooler, so they would help me relax more.

Avoid redundant 'there' after 'parks' and ensure pronoun reference: 'they would help me relax' refers to 'parks'. Use consistent nouns/pronouns. Suggestion: either keep 'the parks there' or 'the parks' but keep pronouns clear.