Parks— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Be concise and direct: start with a clear topic sentence, avoid repetition and filler words (umm, uh), and add one or two specific supporting details. Use linking words to connect ideas and correct tense/grammar (e.g., past tense for childhood).

예시: Yes, I loved going to parks as a child because my family often spent weekends outdoors. For example, we would visit the local park every Sunday, have picnics and play games together, which created very happy memories.

제안: Begin with a direct answer, use correct verb forms, and keep sentences concise. Use one linking word to give a specific reason or example of how parks help you (e.g., go for a walk, read, or exercise).

예시: Yes, I still enjoy going to parks because they help me relax and clear my mind. For instance, when I'm stressed I often take a 30-minute walk there and listen to music, which makes me feel much calmer.

제안: Answer directly and use precise vocabulary (e.g., 'enough' instead of 'plenty' if meaning lack). Remove fillers and give a specific reason and possible benefit of more parks. Use linking words like 'because' and 'so' correctly.

예시: Yes, I would like to see more parks in my city because Busan does not have enough green spaces. As a result, many people must visit the same small parks, so adding new parks would reduce crowding and provide more places to relax.

제안: Start with a clear statement of which park or country you want to visit, avoid hesitations, and give a specific reason or image. Use linking phrases like 'because' or 'for example' to explain why the park appeals to you.

예시: I'd love to visit the national parks in Canada, especially Banff National Park, because I have seen photos of its clear lakes and mountains. For example, the turquoise water and peaceful scenery look very relaxing, so I want to experience that in person.

× Yes, I like going to park as a child because my family was very outgoing, so we usually umm spend weekends outside and outside, uh, I remember one thing that visiting the local parks with my family. The memory is really memorable and umm impress.

✓ Yes, I liked going to parks as a child because my family was very outgoing, so we usually spent weekends outside. I remember visiting the local parks with my family; the memory is very memorable and impressive.

The student is talking about childhood, so past tense should be used (Present tense issue). Use plural 'parks' when speaking generally. Change 'like' to 'liked' and 'spend' to 'spent' for past. 'I remember one thing that visiting' is ungrammatical; use 'I remember visiting' or 'I remember one thing: visiting'. 'Impress' should be the adjective 'impressive'. Suggestions: identify the time frame (childhood) and consistently use past tense verbs; use plural nouns for general references; use correct adjective forms.

× I still enjoy going to the park because it's really helped me feel relaxed and refreshed.

✓ I still enjoy going to the park because it really helps me feel relaxed and refreshed.

The student mixed present simple and present perfect incorrectly (Present tense issue). 'It's really helped me' suggests a completed action; for habitual effect use present simple 'it really helps me'. Keep tense consistent for habitual activities.

× So whenever I feel I I'm stressed or feeling down then I go to the park and take my free times is really clears my mind.

✓ So whenever I feel stressed or down, I go to the park and take my free time; it really clears my mind.

Multiple problems: redundant words and incorrect structure (Sentence structure errors). Remove extra 'I' and choose one verb form 'feel stressed or down'. Use singular 'free time' not 'free times'. Split into two clauses and use 'it really clears my mind' for the result. Suggestion: simplify clauses and maintain subject-verb agreement.

× Yeah, definitely, because umm, in my country specifically I live in Busan and Busan had, Busan doesn't have uh plenty of parks, so I have to go always same park.

✓ Yeah, definitely, because in my country, where I live in Busan, Busan doesn't have plenty of parks, so I always have to go to the same park.

Errors include awkward tense and word order (Verb in the past participle form). 'Busan had' is unnecessary and wrong tense; use present 'doesn't have'. 'I have to go always same park' needs correct adverb placement and preposition: 'I always have to go to the same park.' Suggestion: place adverbs before main verb and include necessary prepositions.

× So umm just other city I like to go and visit.

✓ So I like to visit parks in other cities.

Unclear and fragmented sentence (Sentence structure errors). 'Just other city I like to go and visit' should be rephrased to a clear subject-verb-object structure. Suggestion: state the intended meaning concisely: 'I like to visit parks in other cities.'

× I'd love to visit a National Park in Canada.

✓ I'd love to visit a national park in Canada.

Minor issue with capitalization and form (Modal verb usage). 'I'd love to' is correct modal usage. Use lowercase 'national park' unless referring to a specific named park. Suggestion: keep common nouns lowercase.

× Uh, when I was young, I saw some P, some photos about scenery and the scenery was really peaceful and beautiful for me, uh, to me, so, uh, just, I feel really relaxed just seeing the pictures.

✓ When I was young, I saw some photos of scenery, and the scenery was really peaceful and beautiful to me, so I felt really relaxed just seeing the pictures.

Tense inconsistency and preposition error (Past tense issue). 'Photos about scenery' should be 'photos of scenery'. Use past tense 'felt' to match 'when I was young' and avoid mixing present 'I feel' with past narrative. Suggestion: keep tense consistent within past-time descriptions and use correct prepositions ('photos of').

× So sometimes I like to go there.

✓ So sometimes I would like to go there.

Context asks about future desire; original uses present habitual 'I like to go there' which doesn't clearly express future intention (Future tense issue). 'I would like to go there' better expresses a future wish. Suggestion: use 'would like' or 'want to' when stating future intentions.