Parks— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Be more natural and concise. Start with a clear topic sentence, correct small grammar mistakes, avoid redundancy, and limit to 3–4 sentences. Use linking words for coherence and provide one specific detail or memory.

예시: Yes, I loved going to parks as a child. The playgrounds had swings and slides, and I especially enjoyed racing my friends on weekends. Those visits were exciting because we also had picnics under the big oak tree.

제안: Correct grammar and clarity: use present habits clearly, avoid contradictory phrasing, and reduce filler words. Give a short reason and a specific activity you do at parks. Keep it to 2–3 sentences.

예시: Yes, I still enjoy parks, but now I go mainly for gentle walks and fresh air. I visit the park twice a week to walk for 30 minutes because I want to stay healthy.

제안: Make your opinion direct and use clear reasons. Fix grammar (plural/singular), avoid unclear phrases like 'study from the trees' and use specific benefits (air quality, recreation for children). Keep it within 2–3 sentences.

예시: Yes, I would like more parks in my city because air pollution is a problem. Parks would improve air quality and provide safe, green spaces where children can play and families can relax.

제안: Be concise and factual. State the park and one or two clear reasons. Remove repetitions and fillers, and correct factual phrasing (Chengdu has panda reserves rather than a single 'National Park'). Limit to 2–3 sentences and add a specific detail about what you expect to see.

예시: I would like to visit the panda reserves near Chengdu in China to see giant pandas in a semi-natural habitat. I’m excited because pandas are cute and their conservation centers also teach visitors about wildlife protection.

× I used to love going to the parks as a little girl because they always have kids playgrounds so I could play on the swing and slide.

✓ I used to love going to parks as a little girl because they always had kids' playgrounds so I could play on the swings and slides.

Errors: present vs past consistency and possessive/plural nouns. 'Used to' refers to past, so following verbs and verbs about parks should be past: change 'have' to 'had'. 'Kids playgrounds' needs the possessive form 'kids\' playgrounds' and 'swing and slide' should be plural 'swings and slides' to match general items. Suggestion: keep verb tense consistent and use correct plural and possessive forms.

× I often look forward to for the weekends to be gone there.

✓ I often look forward to going there on weekends.

Original has extra preposition 'for' and awkward structure 'to be gone there'. Use the verb + -ing after 'look forward to' (type 8) and place time expression 'on weekends' at the end. Suggestion: use 'look forward to' + gerund and standard time placement.

× It's so fun.

✓ It was so fun.

Context is childhood memories (past), so the comment should use past tense 'was'. Suggestion: match tense to the time frame being described.

× Definitely yes if when I were a child I went there to play, but now I love going to the past to take slow walks and get some fresh air.

✓ Definitely yes. When I was a child I went there to play, but now I love going to parks to take slow walks and get some fresh air.

Multiple errors: conditional 'if when' is incorrect and 'were' used where simple past 'was' fits for first person singular in a past statement. 'Going to the past' is incorrect; should be 'going to parks'. Suggestion: split into clear sentences, use 'when I was a child', and use 'parks' for general place.

× Umm today I am more concerned about my physical health.

✓ These days I am more concerned about my physical health.

Context compares childhood to present; 'today' is acceptable but 'These days' sounds more natural for an ongoing state. No strict grammatical error but improvement recommended to match contrast. Suggestion: use 'these days' for general present situation.

× So uh, walking slowly is the best way to practice.

✓ So, walking slowly is the best way to exercise.

'Practice' is not the best collocation here; 'exercise' fits physical health context. Grammatically 'walking' gerund is correct. Suggestion: choose correct verb collocation: 'way to exercise' or 'way to stay fit'.

× Yes, I would say I want to see more park in my city because it's so polluted nowadays and people need to study from the trees in the past and children need a fresh and fun space way to play.

✓ Yes, I would say I want to see more parks in my city because it's so polluted nowadays and people need to benefit from trees, and children need a fresh and fun space to play.

Errors: 'more park' needs plural 'more parks' (singular/plural issue). 'Study from the trees in the past' is ungrammatical and unclear; likely meant 'benefit from trees' or 'learn from trees' but context suggests environmental benefit, so 'benefit from trees'. 'Space way to play' is incorrect word order; use 'space to play'. Suggestion: use plural for countable noun and correct verb/object phrases.

× Well, I would love to visit Chengdu, based in China, actually is a National Park in China because, uh, I want to see Panda because I find them so pretty cute and uh, they are a little goofy.

✓ Well, I would love to visit Chengdu in China. There is also a national park nearby where I could see pandas because I find them very cute and a little goofy.

Multiple issues: 'Chengdu, based in China, actually is a National Park in China' is incorrect—Chengdu is a city, not a national park. Sentence fragments and capitalization 'Panda' should be 'pandas'. Use 'There is' to introduce existence (There be issue). Also use plural 'pandas' and adjust modifiers: 'very cute' rather than 'pretty cute'. Suggestion: verify facts and restructure into clear sentences, use 'there is' for existence and correct plural nouns.

× I also they also remind me of the movie Kung Fu Panda.

✓ They also remind me of the movie Kung Fu Panda.

Redundant subject 'I also they also' mixes pronouns and causes ungrammatical structure. Remove the extra 'I'. Suggestion: keep a single subject and avoid repetition.