Parks— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Be more concise and correct grammar. Start with a clear topic sentence, avoid fillers (uh, um), correct plural/singular forms, and give one or two specific supporting details. Use linking words like "because" or "and" appropriately.

예시: Yes, I enjoyed going to parks as a child because they were fun places with many rides. For example, I used to spend afternoons on the swings and carousel with my friends, which made weekends exciting.

제안: Give a clear topic sentence, fix grammar (singular/plural and verb agreement), reduce repetition, and add a specific reason or example. Use a linking word like "because" and one concrete detail.

예시: Yes, I still enjoy going to parks because they are peaceful and good for meeting neighbors. For instance, I often walk in the park near my house and chat with friends while my children play.

제안: Organize the answer with a clear reason and avoid hesitations. Use correct sentence structure and a linking phrase like "because" or "since." Provide a specific effect or example of lacking parks (e.g., less social interaction, no green space).

예시: Yes, I would like more parks in my city because new tall buildings have reduced green spaces. As a result, residents have fewer places to meet and socialize, so additional parks would improve community life.

제안: Start with a direct answer naming the park, then add one or two specific reasons you want to visit. Avoid vague phrasing like "we gossip and use"; instead describe activities (walk, relax, play). Keep sentences concise and grammatically correct.

예시: Yes, I want to visit the park in the Lake City Concord area because it is popular with families and has pleasant walking paths. I would like to go there to relax, meet neighbors, and watch children play.

× Yes, I liked going as a park to perks as a child because, uh, parks are very fun way to uh, uh, fun way to spend my time for entertainment purpose and there are so many rides over there and the uh, and other Childs also come there.

✓ Yes, I liked going to parks as a child because parks were a fun way to spend my time for entertainment, there were many rides, and other children also came there.

Multiple issues: incorrect word order 'going as a park to perks' and misspelling 'perks' should be 'parks' (sentence structure). 'parks are very fun way' needs an article and agreement: 'parks were a fun way' or better 'going to parks was a fun way' (article errors, subject-verb agreement). 'for entertainment purpose' should be 'for entertainment' or 'for entertainment purposes' (incorrect use of quantifiers/articles). 'Childs' is incorrect plural; correct form is 'children' (singular/plural issue). Suggestions: simplify the sentence: 'I liked going to parks as a child because it was a fun way to spend my time for entertainment; there were many rides and other children came there.'

× Well yes, I still like going to perks now because perks are very peaceful place and children comes over their place with their friends and parks are very useful to meet with other people around in my society as well.

✓ Yes, I still like going to parks now because parks are very peaceful places, children come there with their friends, and parks are useful for meeting other people in my community.

Errors: 'perks' should be 'parks' (spelling). 'parks are very peaceful place' needs plural 'places' or use singular with article: 'a very peaceful place' (article and pluralization). 'children comes' is subject-verb agreement; correct is 'children come' (subject-verb agreement). 'come over their place' is incorrect preposition and possessive; use 'come there' or 'come to the park' (incorrect use of prepositions/pronouns). 'useful to meet with other people around in my society' is awkward: use 'useful for meeting other people in my community' (preposition and word choice). Suggestion: keep parallel structure and correct agreements.

× Yes, definitely I would like to see more parks in my city because uh nowadays in uh, there are so many tall buildings are uh, building over there. Uh, so, uh, most of the uh, places are not uh, having any parks uh, so where people cannot, uh, are losing the socializing.

✓ Yes, definitely I would like to see more parks in my city because nowadays many tall buildings are being constructed there, so most places do not have parks, and people are losing opportunities to socialize.

Problems: redundant and incorrect construction 'there are so many tall buildings are building' — use passive progressive 'are being constructed' or active 'are being built' (verb form/present participle). 'places are not having any parks' is unidiomatic; use 'do not have parks' (verb usage and auxiliary). 'people cannot, are losing the socializing' is incorrect; express as 'people are losing opportunities to socialize' (sentence structure and word choice). Suggestions: avoid filler 'uh', use clear clauses and correct verb forms for present continuous passive when appropriate.

× Yes, there is a park that is situated in Lake City, Concord area that is a residential area and there are so many people over there.

✓ Yes, there is a park situated in the Lake City Concord area, which is a residential neighborhood and has many people living nearby.

Improvements: add definite article 'the Lake City Concord area' if it is a specific place (article usage). Repetition 'that is a residential area and there are so many people over there' is awkward; use a relative clause 'which is a residential neighborhood and has many people living nearby' (sentence structure). 'so many people over there' is vague; 'many people living nearby' is clearer. Suggestion: combine ideas into one coherent sentence and use correct articles.

× The society people comes there with their family and we spend time, we gossip and use.

✓ People from the neighborhood come there with their families, and we spend time together, gossip, and relax.

Errors: 'The society people' is unnatural; 'people from the neighborhood' or 'local residents' is better (word choice). 'comes' should be 'come' to match plural subject (subject-verb agreement). 'with their family' should be plural 'with their families' if referring to multiple people (singular/plural issue). The final clause 'we spend time, we gossip and use' is incomplete and unclear; replace with 'we spend time together, gossip, and relax' to complete the list of activities (sentence structure and vocabulary). Suggestion: use parallel verbs in lists and ensure plural agreement.