Parks— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Make the answer more grammatically correct, concise and direct. Start with a clear topic sentence, avoid tense errors and redundancy, and add one brief supporting detail using a linking word. Also keep it under five sentences.

예시: Yes, I loved going to parks as a child. For example, in the Philippines we only had small neighbourhood parks, but my friends and I would go there to play games and have picnics, which made those visits very memorable.

제안: Remove hesitations and repetitions, correct word choice and sentence structure, and use linking words to connect ideas. Be specific about how parks help you and limit to up to five sentences.

예시: Yes, I still enjoy going to parks because the swings and slides help me relax and relieve stress. In addition, I often have picnics there with friends, which makes me feel nostalgic and carefree.

제안: Give a direct opinion first, then support it with a clear reason using linking words. Fix factual/grammar mistakes and avoid long confused clauses. Be specific about benefits more parks would bring.

예시: Yes, I would like to see more parks in my city because they provide safe recreational spaces for children and families. For instance, new parks would encourage outdoor activity, improve community health, and offer places for neighbourhood events.

제안: Clarify where you are and correct grammar (living vs leaving). Remove filler words and be specific about a named park or type of park you'd like to visit, using one or two clear reasons and linking words.

예시: Yes, now that I am living in Alaska I would like to visit local parks, especially those with large playgrounds and scenic trails. For example, I want to try a park with wooden play structures and hiking paths because they remind me of childhood and help me relax.

× Yes, I am a particularly fond of going to the park as a child, even though in the Philippines we only have a small kind of park, but we usually go there to have fun.

✓ Yes, I was particularly fond of going to the park as a child; even though in the Philippines we only had small parks, we usually went there to have fun.

Errors: incorrect article use ('a particularly fond' should be 'particularly fond' without 'a') and tense consistency (question asks about childhood, so past tense is appropriate). Also 'a small kind of park' is awkward; 'small parks' is clearer. Suggestions: remove the extra article before 'particularly', change verbs to past tense to match 'as a child', and use plural 'parks' for general reference. Grammar problem type ID:22

× Even though I am already an adult, I still love to go to the park, especially their umm, swings and slides that I can play to to ease my stress and to relax.

✓ Even though I am an adult, I still love going to the park, especially the swings and slides that I can play on to ease my stress and relax.

Errors: 'love to go' is acceptable but 'love going' is more natural; 'their swings' incorrectly uses a possessive pronoun for 'the park' so use 'the swings'; 'play to to' is redundant and wrong preposition—use 'play on'. Also 'to relax' can be streamlined to 'relax'. Suggestions: remove filler words, use correct preposition 'on' after 'play', and use 'the swings' instead of 'their swings'. Grammar problem type ID:6

× Umm, it's whenever I'm going to go to the park I see myself as a child again.

✓ Whenever I go to the park, I feel like a child again.

Errors: wordy and ungrammatical structure ('it's whenever I'm going to go' is incorrect). Use simple present for habitual actions: 'Whenever I go'. Replace 'see myself as a child again' with idiomatic 'feel like a child again'. Suggestions: simplify the clause and use correct tense and idiomatic expression. Grammar problem type ID:26

× And we do picnics too.

✓ We also have picnics.

Error: 'do picnics' is informal but acceptable; more natural is 'have picnics'. Ensure tense matches surrounding present statements. Suggestion: use 'have picnics' or 'go on picnics' for clarity. Grammar problem type ID:1

× I live in Manila which is the capital of the Philippines and we do have some parks in there although our city is just a small one which is what we call Las Pinas City.

✓ I live in Manila, which is the capital of the Philippines, and we do have some parks there, although our city is small; it is called Las Piñas City.

Errors: unnecessary 'in there' — 'there' alone is correct; punctuation needed for the non-defining relative clause; 'Las Pinas' needs correct orthography 'Las Piñas'. Suggestions: remove redundant preposition, add commas for clarity, and use 'called' to name the city. Grammar problem type ID:11

× I still love to see more parks in there and hopefully the government will build more as their kids growing up and it's gonna be good for the future.

✓ I would like to see more parks there, and hopefully the government will build more so children growing up will benefit; it will be good for the future.

Errors: 'love to see more parks in there' is awkward—use 'would like to see more parks there'. 'as their kids growing up' is ungrammatical; needs a clause such as 'so children growing up will benefit'. Also avoid informal 'gonna'. Suggestions: rephrase to a clear future-benefit clause and use formal 'will'. Grammar problem type ID:5

× Since I am leaving now in Alaska I'm the parks they got.

✓ Since I am living in Alaska now, I know the parks they have.

Errors: 'leaving' is wrong verb (should be 'living'); 'I'm the parks they got' is ungrammatical. Use 'I know the parks they have' or 'I've seen the parks they have'. Suggestions: replace 'leaving' with 'living', and use 'they have' instead of 'they got' in formal English. Grammar problem_type_id:11

× It's very amazing they got UMM different kinds of umm slides and swings especially.

✓ It's amazing; they have different kinds of slides and swings, especially.

Errors: 'they got' is informal and nonstandard for present possession—use 'they have'. Remove fillers 'UMM'. Suggestion: use 'It's amazing' and 'they have' for present possession. Grammar problem type ID:12

× I am very nostalgic whenever I see parks.

✓ I feel very nostalgic whenever I see parks.

Error: 'am very nostalgic' is grammatically acceptable but 'feel very nostalgic' is more natural collocation. Use present simple for habitual reaction 'whenever I see parks'. Suggestion: use 'feel' to express emotion. Grammar problem type ID:5

× I can see UMM myself playing in there when I was still a kid.

✓ I can picture myself playing there when I was a child.

Errors: 'UMM' filler removed; 'in there' should be 'there'; mixing 'can see' (present modal) with 'when I was still a kid' is acceptable if meaning 'I can imagine', but 'picture myself' is clearer. Suggestion: use 'picture myself' and 'when I was a child' for clarity. Grammar problem type ID:12