Parks— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Be more concise and use a clear topic sentence, then add one specific supporting detail. Avoid repetition ("didn't really" twice) and simplify grammar (e.g., "my family were often busy with work"). Use a linking word if you add a reason (e.g., "because").

예시: Not really. My family were often busy with work, so we rarely visited parks when I was a child. For example, weekends were usually taken up by my parents' jobs, which left little time for family outings.

제안: Start with a direct answer, then give one clear reason and a brief example. Avoid unclear phrases like "the park I'm using" and repetition ("I would say"). Use linking words such as "because" or "so" correctly.

예시: No, I don't. I find parks less interesting now because I no longer go there to play, and I prefer relaxing at home. For example, I usually spend evenings watching TV series rather than visiting a park.

제안: Give a clear topic sentence, then one specific reason and a brief contrast using a linking word (e.g., "although" or "because"). Avoid long phrasing and ensure grammar is accurate ("as when I was a child" → "as I did when I was a child").

예시: No, I wouldn't. Although I enjoyed parks as a child, I now prefer to spend my free time on productive activities like studying or learning new skills. For instance, I often take online courses on weekends instead of going to a park.

제안: Answer directly and give one specific alternative activity and a brief reason. Fix awkward phrasing ("enjoying by going to parks" → "enjoy going to parks"). Use a linking word such as "because" or "rather than" for clarity.

예시: Probably not, because I don't enjoy going to parks anymore; I'd rather visit the beach or historical sites. For example, I prefer going to the beach for a walk or to museums to learn about local history.

× As a child, we didn't really go to parks because my family is composed of people that are really busy and focused on their careers, so we didn't really have the time to go to.

✓ As a child, I didn't really go to parks because my family was made up of people who were really busy and focused on their careers, so we didn't really have time to go.

The speaker shifts from singular 'I' to plural 'we' causing number inconsistency; 'my family is composed of people' is awkward—use 'my family was made up of people' to match past context; omit 'the' before 'time'. Suggestion: maintain consistent subject (use I) and match verb tense to past for events in childhood.

× I would say no because I don't find the park I'm using and I can't play there anymore because I'm grown.

✓ I would say no because I don't find the parks useful and I can't play there anymore because I'm grown up.

The phrase 'the park I'm using' is incorrect for general meaning; 'park' as count noun needs correct form and verb agreement ('don't find the park useful' is odd). Also 'I'm grown' is nonstandard; use 'I'm grown up'. Suggestion: use plural 'parks' if speaking generally and use 'grown up' to indicate adulthood.

× So I would say I'd rather stay at home and watch the series that I want.

✓ So I would say I'd rather stay at home and watch the series I want to watch.

Omission of verb at end creates incomplete verb phrase; 'watch the series that I want' is acceptable but 'want to watch' is clearer. Suggestion: include the full verb phrase 'want to watch' for clarity.

× I would say no because I don't find parks amusing or entertaining anymore as when I was a child and now I would rather do something productive and meaningful in my time than visit parks.

✓ I would say no because I don't find parks as amusing or entertaining as they were when I was a child, and now I would rather do something productive and meaningful with my time than visit parks.

Comparative structure is incorrect: 'anymore as when' should be 'as ... as' with past reference. Also use 'with my time' not 'in my time'. Suggestion: use 'as amusing as they were' to form correct comparison and 'with my time' for idiomatic usage.

× Probably no because I don't find myself enjoying by going to parks and I would rather just go to the beach and other places than there.

✓ Probably not, because I don't enjoy going to parks, and I would rather go to the beach or other places than go there.

'Probably no' should be 'probably not' to answer negatively; 'find myself enjoying by going' is ungrammatical—use 'I don't enjoy going'; 'than there' is unclear—repeat verb 'go' or use 'than go there'. Suggestion: use 'probably not' and simple verb structures: 'I don't enjoy going to parks' and 'rather go to the beach'.