Parks— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Make the response more natural, concise and grammatically correct. Start with a clear topic sentence, then give one specific supporting detail. Avoid repetition (e.g., "used to") and incorrect tense or articles. Use linking words like "because" or "for example" if giving reasons or examples.

예시: Yes, I loved going to parks as a child. For example, I often visited the Summer Palace in Beijing because it has beautiful gardens and lakes; back then it was mainly used by the imperial family, so I remember feeling it was very special.

제안: Be direct and grammatical: start with a topic sentence, then give one or two specific examples with brief reasons. Use linking words like "and" or "because" to connect ideas and avoid redundant phrases such as "extremely lovely places for me."

예시: Yes, I still enjoy going to parks. I often visit Shakespeare Regional Park and the park near Mission Bay in Auckland because both have great walking trails and sea views.

제안: Clarify whether you mean visiting more parks or wanting more parks built in the city. Keep sentences concise and use specific place names correctly. Use linking words such as "for example" and avoid vague or incorrect phrases like "the Northland and the Future."

예시: Yes, I would like to visit more parks around the city. For example, I plan to visit Windhome Regional Park north of Auckland and Totara Park in the south when I have time because they offer different landscapes and hiking routes.

제안: Correct factual and language errors and be concise. Give one clear topic sentence and one specific detail or reason. Avoid incorrect translations and odd phrases like "I have sold both places in the box." Use linking words such as "for example" or "because."

예시: Yes, I want to visit some parks in Hanoi. For example, I would like to see West Lake Park and Hoang Kiem Lake (also called Sword Lake) because they are famous for scenic views and local culture.

× Yes, I love to go into parks as a child, During my childhood, I frequently visited the Summer Palace in Beijing, which used to be not opening to the public, which used to be opening to the members of the imperial family that plan only.

✓ Yes, I loved going to parks as a child. During my childhood, I frequently visited the Summer Palace in Beijing, which used to be closed to the public and was open only to members of the imperial family.

The sentence describes past habits and events, so present tense 'love' and present forms 'is opening/used to be opening' are incorrect. Use past tense 'loved' and past passive 'was closed' and 'was open' to indicate a past state. Also improve word order and clarity by replacing 'that plan only' with 'only to members of the imperial family'. Suggestion: Use 'loved' for past habitual liking and 'was closed/was open' for past states; avoid repeated 'used to' with progressive form.

× Yes, I still love to go into park.

✓ Yes, I still love going to parks.

The original mixes verb pattern and article usage. 'Love to go into park' is unidiomatic: use the gerund 'love going' for general preferences and plural 'parks' (or 'the park') depending on meaning. Also include the article 'the' if referring to a specific park. Suggestion: Say 'I still love going to parks' for general preference or 'I still love going to the park' for a specific place.

× Now I love to go to the Shakespeare original park.

✓ Now I love to go to the Shakespeare Regional Park.

The phrase 'Shakespeare original park' is incorrect collocation. Likely the intended name is 'Shakespeare Regional Park'. Additionally 'to go to' is correct; no progressive change needed. Suggestion: Use the correct proper noun for the park and avoid literal translations like 'original'.

× As well as the park beside Mission Bay and Auckland, both places are extremely lovely places for me.

✓ Also the park beside Mission Bay in Auckland and Shakespeare Regional Park are both lovely places for me.

The original has unclear preposition and location structure: 'beside Mission Bay and Auckland' wrongly suggests Mission Bay and Auckland are separate locations. Reorder to 'park beside Mission Bay in Auckland' for clarity and remove redundant 'places'. Suggestion: Keep location phrases close to the noun they modify and avoid repeating nouns.

× Yes, I would love to go to more park, the Northland and the Future.

✓ Yes, I would love to visit more parks in Northland and the Far North.

'More park' is missing plural ('parks'). 'the Northland' may be fine but 'the Future' is incorrect as a place name; likely intended 'the Far North' (a region). Use plural for countable nouns and correct place names. Suggestion: Use 'more parks' and confirm proper regional names.

× For example, I would love to go to the Window Home Regional Park, which is a bit further away from the Shakespeare Regional Park and north of Auckland.

✓ For example, I would love to visit Windowhome Regional Park, which is a bit farther from Shakespeare Regional Park and is north of Auckland.

Use 'visit' for destinations; 'further away from' is wordy—'farther from' is better for physical distance. Also 'Window Home' may be a mistranslation; combine as 'Windowhome' if it is the park name. Add 'is' before 'north of Auckland' for complete clause. Suggestion: Use 'visit' and 'farther' for distance, and ensure correct park name spelling.

× And I would also like to go to the Total Park in southern Auckland as well if I have the time.

✓ And I would also like to visit Total Park in southern Auckland if I have the time.

Use 'visit' instead of 'go to' for stylistic clarity and drop redundant 'as well' when 'also' is present. 'the Total Park' may be unnecessary if 'Total Park' is a proper name. Suggestion: Avoid redundant adverbs and check article use with proper nouns.

× Yes, in the future I would like to visit Hanoi, the capital of Vietnam.

✓ Yes, in the future I would like to visit Hanoi, the capital of Vietnam.

This sentence is correct in tense and structure; no grammatical correction needed. It is included here to indicate no change required. Suggestion: Keep this as written.

× They have two beautiful parks over there.

✓ There are two beautiful parks there.

Using 'They have' is grammatical but less natural when referring to a city; 'There are' is more natural for stating existence. Also 'over there' is colloquial; 'there' suffices. Suggestion: Use 'There are two beautiful parks there' to state existence.

× One is the Hanoi Westlake Park and one is the Huang Kim Lake Park, which is known as the Park of Returns World in English.

✓ One is West Lake (Hanoi) and the other is Hoang Kiem Lake Park, which is known in English as the Park of Returned Souls.

Park names were mistranslated and word order awkward. 'Huang Kim' likely refers to 'Hoan Kiem' or 'Hoàng Kiếm' (Hoan Kiem Lake); 'Park of Returns World' is an incorrect literal translation. Provide likely English equivalents and correct 'one... and one...' to 'one... and the other...'. Suggestion: Use correct local names or commonly used English names and use 'the other' for the second item.

× I have sold both places in the box.

✓ I have seen both places in person.

'I have sold both places in the box' is nonsensical; likely intended meaning is 'I have seen both places' or 'I have visited both places'. Replace with 'seen' or 'visited'. Suggestion: Use 'seen' or 'visited' for places you have experienced; avoid literal translations like 'in the box'.