Parks— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Be more concise and grammatically correct. Start with a clear topic sentence, avoid filler sounds (uh, MMM), use correct verb forms and articles, and add one specific supporting detail. Limit to 2–3 sentences.

예시: Yes, I loved going to parks as a child. I used to visit the local park nearly every day because playing there kept me active and helped me feel refreshed for the rest of the day.

제안: Use a clearer structure and natural collocations. Begin with a direct response, then give 1–2 specific reasons using linking words (for example, because, and). Correct noun phrases (go to the park; places such as). Keep sentences simple and avoid overusing adverbs like steadily and significantly.

예시: Yes, I still enjoy going to parks because I often play volleyball or cricket there. These activities help me stay fit and relieve stress.

제안: Give a clear direct answer first, then explain with specific reasons. Avoid questions back to the examiner. Use correct word order and articles (the type of parks), and avoid repeating filler words. Provide a concise preference and a reason (e.g., benefits for families).

예시: I would support more parks in my city, but it depends on their design. If parks include safe play areas for children and seating for families, I think building more of them would be very beneficial.

제안: Answer directly and give one clear specific detail. Remove hesitations and use correct conditional phrasing (if I get a chance). Mention why you want to go with a specific feature (e.g., attractions, scenery). Keep it to 2 sentences.

예시: Yes, I would like to visit Melbourne Universal Park. I saw videos on Instagram of its rides and gardens, and I would love to experience the attractions and atmosphere in person.

× MMM yes, since I was a toddler I used to go park, uh, usually every day because it keeps me activated and uh fresh all day.

✓ MMM yes, since I was a toddler I used to go to the park, usually every day, because it kept me active and fresh all day.

Two issues: missing preposition 'to' before 'park' (use 'go to the park') and verb tense/word form. 'Used to go' correctly indicates past habitual, so the clause 'because it keeps me activated and fresh all day' should match past perspective: use 'kept me active'. Also 'activated' is incorrect here; 'active' is the appropriate adjective. Suggestion: include 'to' with places, use 'active' not 'activated', and keep past tense consistency by using 'kept'.

× Yes, I do, because we go to park and place for such as volleyball and cricket to maintain our physical and mental health steadily and significantly.

✓ Yes, I do, because we go to the park and other places, such as volleyball and cricket grounds, to maintain our physical and mental health consistently.

Missing article before 'park' ('the park') and awkward phrase 'place for such as' should be 'other places, such as...'. 'Volleyball and cricket' need nouns like 'grounds' or 'courts'. 'Steadily and significantly' is unnatural; 'consistently' fits better. Suggestion: use 'the' with specific places, restructure the list with 'such as', and choose a natural adverb for frequency/degree.

× Uh, it depends on what are the type of parks. Uh, are children allowed to play there or not? If, uh, as my perspective, if children are allowed to play in the park, it's much better to make other playgrounds.

✓ Uh, it depends on what type of parks they are. Uh, whether children are allowed to play there or not. From my perspective, if children are allowed to play in the park, it's much better to build more playgrounds.

Word order and pronoun reference errors: 'what are the type of parks' should be 'what type of parks they are' or 'what type of park it is'. 'Are children allowed...' is a question; in a statement use 'whether'. 'As my perspective' is incorrect; use 'from my perspective'. 'Make other playgrounds' is unnatural; use 'build more playgrounds'. Suggestion: use correct clause order for 'what type... they are', use 'whether' for indirect questions, and prefer 'build' with 'playgrounds'.

× Yes, I do. Uh, I saw Melbourne Universal Park in my Instagram reels, so if I would get a chance I would definitely, uh, go to that park because, uh, I like that so much.

✓ Yes, I do. Uh, I saw Melbourne Universal Park in my Instagram reels, so if I get a chance I will definitely go to that park because I like it so much.

Conditional and tense errors: In real/possible future conditionals, use present simple in the if-clause ('if I get a chance') and 'will' in the main clause ('I will definitely go'), not 'if I would'. Also 'I like that so much' is better as 'I like it so much' referring to the park. Suggestion: use standard first conditional structure: if + present, will + base verb; use correct pronoun reference 'it' for the park.