Parks— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Make the answer more natural and concise. Start with a clear topic sentence, then add one or two specific supporting details using linking words. Avoid repetitions and correct small grammar errors (e.g., “a park” → “parks” or “the park,” “a lot” instead of “lot”).

예시: Yes, I loved going to parks as a child. For example, I often played seesaw and swings with neighborhood friends, which made afternoons very lively. Because there were many children nearby, we always had different games to try and never got bored.

제안: Aim for a fluent, structured reply with correct grammar and limited repetition. Begin with a clear topic sentence, then give two specific benefits of visiting parks now, using linking words like 'because' or 'so'. Avoid self-contradictory or unclear phrases (e.g., “I'm now an old person” could be simplified).

예시: Yes, I still enjoy going to parks because they make me feel youthful and relaxed. Also, the fresh air is good for my health, and I often meet neighbors there, which helps me stay socially active.

제안: Provide a concise, organized response with clear reasons and specific examples. Use linking words (e.g., 'because', 'for example', 'so') and avoid vague or incomplete endings. Fix plural/singular and article errors.

예시: Yes, I would like more parks in our city because they provide greenery and clean air. For example, additional parks would give families places to exercise and socialize, which would improve public health and community ties.

제안: Be specific and accurate: name real parks correctly and avoid irrelevant or fictional examples (e.g., Jurassic Park). Structure your answer with a topic sentence and then list one or two real parks you want to visit and explain why. Keep sentences short and clear.

예시: Yes, I would like to visit several famous parks abroad. For instance, I want to see Hyde Park in London because of its large green spaces and monuments, and Gulmarg in Kashmir because of its beautiful mountain scenery.

× Yes, I loved going to park as a kid.

✓ Yes, I loved going to the park as a kid.

Missing definite article 'the' before singular countable noun 'park'. Use 'the park' when referring to a specific place experienced by speaker. Suggestion: include 'the' for specific parks you visited as a child.

× We all had lot of fun.

✓ We all had a lot of fun.

Missing article 'a' before the noun phrase 'lot of'. The correct expression is 'a lot of' meaning 'many' or 'much'. Suggestion: use 'a lot of' or 'lots of' for informal speech.

× We played seesaw and all that and it was there was lot of games too.

✓ We played on the seesaw and things like that, and there were a lot of games too.

Multiple issues: missing preposition 'on' with 'seesaw', redundant 'it was there was', missing 'a' in 'a lot of', and subject-verb agreement for plural 'games' requires 'there were'. Suggestion: simplify to one clause: 'We played on the seesaw and there were a lot of games too.'

× Yes, I enjoy going to park even now I'm now an old person, but when I go to park I feel I'm again young.

✓ Yes, I enjoy going to the park even now I'm an old person, but when I go to the park I feel young again.

Missing 'the' before 'park' in both instances. Word order: 'I'm again young' is unnatural; use 'young again'. Also repeated 'now'. Suggestion: use 'the park' and place 'again' after the adjective: 'feel young again'.

× Then I get the memories of my childhood when I am the park and there's a fresh air in the park which is good for my health and I can see my neighbors walking there and I get, I get.

✓ Then I get memories of my childhood when I am in the park, and there's fresh air in the park which is good for my health, and I can see my neighbors walking there.

Multiple problems: incorrect preposition 'the park' should be 'in the park' (preposition error). 'The memories' -> 'memories' (article optional but 'get memories' is acceptable). 'a fresh air' incorrect article; 'fresh air' is uncountable and does not take 'a'. Repetition 'I get, I get' is incomplete. Suggestion: use 'in the park' and omit 'a' before 'fresh air'; finish the sentence clearly.

× Yes, I want to see and I want to have more parks in our city because when the parks are the lifeline of the city and there are more parks, more greenery, more fresh air, more people have a place to recreate themselves, you can meet neighbors in the parks and more parks will make existing.

✓ Yes, I want more parks in our city because parks are the lifeline of a city: with more parks there is more greenery and fresh air, more people have a place to relax, you can meet neighbors in the parks, and more parks will improve the city.

Problems include article misuse ('the parks are the lifeline' should be general 'parks are the lifeline' or 'parks are the lifelines of a city'), awkward structure and sentence fragments ('more parks will make existing' is incomplete). 'Recreate themselves' is incorrect word choice; use 'relax' or 'recreate' without 'themselves'. Suggestion: restructure into clearer clauses, use general statements without 'the' when speaking about parks in general, and complete final clause.

× Yes, there are a lot of parks I have heard about in my books and magazines that way I would like to go.

✓ Yes, there are a lot of parks I have read about in books and magazines that I would like to visit.

Awkward phrasing 'heard about in my books' (you read in books), missing relative pronoun 'that'/'which' and infinitive 'visit' instead of 'go'. Suggestion: use 'read about' and 'that I would like to visit'.

× I have heard about a park in Hyde Park in London and there is a 1 Gulmer park in Kashmir and there is one more park which Jurassic Park.

✓ I have heard about Hyde Park in London, Gulmarg Park in Kashmir, and another park called Jurassic Park.

Problems: 'a park in Hyde Park in London' is redundant; Hyde Park is itself a park. '1 Gulmer park' is incorrect spelling/format; likely 'Gulmarg Park'. 'one more park which Jurassic Park' has wrong relative clause; use 'called'. Suggestion: use correct park names and 'called' for names.

× I would like to visit all of them It's my.

✓ I would like to visit all of them. It's my dream.

Sentence fragment and missing punctuation. 'It's my' is incomplete; add noun like 'dream' to complete the idea. Suggestion: finish thoughts and use punctuation to separate sentences.