Parks— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Speak in a complete, concise sentence and avoid filler words. Start with a clear topic sentence, then give one or two specific supporting details using linking words. Correct grammar (past tense) and reduce hesitations to sound more natural.

예시: Yes, I loved going to parks as a child because they gave me extra time with my family. For example, I often played games with my siblings and cousins, and we would run around the playground together, which created many happy memories.

제안: Give a clear topic sentence then explain with a specific reason and an example; avoid awkward phrasing. Use linking words like 'because' and 'for example', and correct grammar (we create/relive good memories).

예시: Yes, I still enjoy going to parks because they help me relax and relive happy memories. For example, when I walk in a park I often remember playing there as a child, which lifts my mood and reduces stress.

제안: Answer directly and be concise: state your position, give specific reasons and use linking words. Remove fillers and repeat terms. Use precise vocabulary (shade, social interaction, encourage exercise).

예시: Yes, I would like to see more parks in my city because, as an architect, I know they improve urban life. For instance, parks provide shade and green space, encourage social interaction, and promote walking and exercise among residents.

제안: Give a direct answer with one concise reason and a specific detail or example. Avoid repetition and unclear phrasing. Use correct names and simple past/present perfect when referring to experiences (I've seen it in several series).

예시: Yes, I'd love to visit Central Park in New York. I've seen it in several TV shows and documentaries and I admire its large lawns, historic bridges, and peaceful walking paths, so I hope to go there someday.

× Yeah, I like it so much because. You get extra time with your family, uh, go with your sibling and your cousins and your family that has the same as your age and you start to playing and get.

✓ Yeah, I liked it so much because you got extra time with your family; you went with your siblings, your cousins, and family members who were the same age as you, and you started to play and have fun.

The original mixes present and past tenses and has sentence fragments and incorrect verb forms. The question asks about childhood, so past tense is required (liked, got, went, started). Use plural forms for siblings and family members, remove unnecessary filler words, and change 'start to playing' to 'started to play'. Clear punctuation helps separate ideas.

× Of course I do, because I think there is a child inside every one of us and by going out, we're being out some good memories.

✓ Of course I do, because I think there is a child inside every one of us, and by going out we create some good memories.

The sentence mixes present simple with an incorrect passive construction 'we're being out some good memories'. Use an active verb appropriate for present tense: 'we create some good memories'. Also remove unnecessary comma after 'out' and use 'everyone' as one word optionally; structure should be clear.

× It's a good, great coincidence. Uh, as you see, I am an architect, so I want to see more parks in my city.

✓ It's a great coincidence. As you can see, I am an architect, so I want to see more parks in my city.

'Good, great coincidence' is awkward; choose one adjective 'great'. 'As you see' is unnatural in this context; use 'As you can see'. No article error in parks sentence, but smoothing phrasing corrects register.

× Parks have several advantages such as social, social interaction, uh, giving shades and, and uh, encourage people to hang around and walk.

✓ Parks have several advantages, such as social interaction, providing shade, and encouraging people to spend time outside and walk.

The sentence repeats 'social' and misuses verb forms ('giving shades', 'encourage'). Use noun phrase 'social interaction', 'providing shade' (singular uncountable), and gerund 'encouraging' to list parallel items. Remove fillers for clarity.

× Yeah, I would, I would like. So the first one that came in mind is New York Central Park. I think it's I've watched it in very different in several serious. It's wonderful and beautiful. I want to go there someday.

✓ Yes, I would. The first park that comes to mind is New York's Central Park. I think I've seen it in many different TV series. It's wonderful and beautiful. I want to go there someday.

Multiple issues: use present tense 'comes to mind' for general thought, correct name 'Central Park' with possessive 'New York's', use present perfect 'I've seen' for experiences with unspecified time, and replace 'several serious' with 'many different TV series'. Remove repeated fillers and ensure consistent tense for intentions ('I want to go someday' is fine).