Parks— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Be more complete and natural: give a clear topic sentence, add specific details (activities, frequency, who you went with), use linking words and avoid fragments. Keep it within 3–4 sentences and avoid trailing phrases like "and. Yeah, that's it."

예시: Yes, I loved going to parks as a child. I often went there with a group of neighborhood friends, and we usually played on the swings and slides or had impromptu football matches. Those afternoons were a regular part of my week and helped me build close friendships.

제안: Good clear contrast between past and present; improve coherence with linking words and more specific details (how often, which park features you like, what you read). Avoid repeating similar phrases and keep sentences concise.

예시: Yes, I still enjoy parks, but for different reasons now. Whereas I used to play sports with friends, these days I go a few times a week to sit on a bench, read novels, and enjoy the fresh air. This helps me relax after work and recharge for the week.

제안: Answer is direct and reasoned. Improve by adding a linking phrase and a specific example or suggestion (where parks should be, what facilities needed) and keep sentences varied but concise.

예시: Absolutely — I believe cities should have many parks because they give people a place to relax and connect with nature. For example, adding small green spaces near office districts would let workers take short breaks, and larger parks could include playgrounds and walking paths to benefit families and the environment.

제안: Be more precise and natural: name specific national parks or features you want to see, correct grammar ("I have never been to the country"), avoid vague adjectives like "insane" and unclear final sentence. Use linking words and limit to 3–4 concise sentences.

예시: Yes — I would love to visit national parks in the United States, such as Yosemite or Yellowstone, to see dramatic landscapes and wildlife. I have never been to the U.S., but I imagine hiking the trails and watching the stars at night would be unforgettable experiences.

× There were slides and.

✓ There were slides and swings.

The original sentence ends with 'and.' which is an incomplete sentence fragment (sentence structure error). A coordinated list with 'and' requires another item following it. Adding a parallel noun (e.g., 'swings') completes the coordination. Suggestion: when using 'and' to connect items, ensure all items are present and parallel.

× Yes I do, but for a different purpose now.

✓ Yes, I do, but for a different purpose now.

The original sentence is missing a comma after 'Yes' which is punctuation rather than tense, but the present tense 'do' is correct. This suggestion adds the comma for clarity; no tense change needed. Suggestion: include commas after introductory 'Yes' or 'No' for natural written English.

× I used to go to parks just to play around with my friends and enjoy it, but with more physical activities.

✓ I used to go to parks just to play with my friends and enjoy myself, doing more physical activities.

The phrase 'enjoy it' is awkward when referring to personal enjoyment; 'enjoy myself' is reflexive and appropriate. 'With more physical activities' is not properly connected; using 'doing more physical activities' makes the participle phrase correctly modify the action. This corrects misuse of reflexive and present participle forms. Suggestion: use reflexive pronouns when the subject and object are the same, and attach participle phrases clearly to the verb they modify.

× Now I just go there and sit, relax, read a book and just rest.

✓ Now I just go there to sit, relax, read a book, and rest.

The original has inconsistent verb forms and redundant 'just' and missing parallel infinitive marker. Using 'to' before the list or making the verbs parallel gerunds/infinitives improves clarity: 'to sit, relax, read a book, and rest.' Also added a comma before the final 'and' in a list of actions. Suggestion: keep list items parallel and avoid unnecessary repetition.

× I think every city needs a lot of them because people need a break from their work or go there to enjoy the nature around them, and it's also good for our planet.

✓ I think every city needs many of them because people need a break from their work or want to go there to enjoy the nature around them, and it's also good for our planet.

'A lot of them' is colloquial but acceptable; 'many of them' is more appropriate here. More importantly, 'go there to enjoy the nature' should use 'want to go' for parallel structure and 'nature' doesn't need 'the' in this context but can keep it; here 'enjoy nature around them' or 'enjoy the nature around them.' Suggestion: use parallel verbs and prefer 'many' in formal responses.

× There are a lot of national parks in United States of America.

✓ There are a lot of national parks in the United States of America.

The country name requires the definite article 'the' before 'United States of America.' Omission of 'the' is a preposition/article usage error. Suggestion: use 'the United States' or 'the United States of America.'

× I have never been in the country before but I would love to go there and see those insane views and enjoy the nature again.

✓ I have never been to the country before, but I would love to go there and see those incredible views and enjoy nature again.

Use 'been to' rather than 'been in' when talking about visiting a country. 'Insane views' is informal and may be replaced with 'incredible views.' Also 'enjoy the nature' is better as 'enjoy nature.' Added a comma before 'but' for sentence clarity. Suggestion: use 'been to' for visits and choose appropriate adjectives for formal speech.

× I think it's one of the best places to see these type of night.

✓ I think it's one of the best places to see these kinds of nights.

'These type of night' has multiple errors: 'type' should be plural 'types' or better 'kinds,' and 'night' should be plural 'nights' to agree with 'these.' The corrected phrase 'these kinds of nights' matches number agreement and correct noun form. Suggestion: ensure noun and demonstrative agreement ('these' with plural noun) and use 'kinds' or 'types' with plural noun forms.