Parks— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Be more concise and natural: start with a clear topic sentence, avoid repetition, correct grammar (tense and articles), and use one or two specific supporting details with linking words. Keep the whole answer within 3–4 sentences.

예시: Yes, I loved going to parks as a child because they let me relax after school. For example, I would play cricket with my friends and climb trees, which helped me forget my homework and have fun.

제안: Use a clear topic sentence and link supporting reasons with connectors. Correct prepositions and plural/singular forms, and avoid redundant phrases. Give one concrete example of what you do in the park now.

예시: Yes, I still enjoy going to parks because they help me breathe fresh air and reduce stress. For instance, I go for a short walk there every evening and sometimes meet neighbours for a quick chat.

제안: Give a direct answer then two clear, specific reasons linked logically. Avoid filler words and repetition; use correct comparative forms and articles. Provide an example of how extra parks would benefit the community.

예시: Yes, I would like to see more parks in my city because they increase green space and improve air quality. For example, additional parks would give children safe places to play and neighbours places to hold community events.

제안: Answer directly and give specific reasons and a brief personal detail. Fix grammar (use articles, word order) and avoid hesitation. Mention one or two concrete activities you would do there.

예시: Yes, I want to visit Juhu Park in Mumbai because it is near the beach and offers quiet spots to relax. I would like to sit by the sea, read a book, and enjoy the sea breeze while watching the sunset.

× Well yes, being a child I love to power visit to the park Sir as that was the chance where I can escape from my school homework and leave some stress.

✓ Well yes, as a child I loved visiting the park because it was a chance to escape my school homework and relieve some stress.

The original uses 'being a child' awkwardly and 'love to power visit to' is ungrammatical. 'As a child' is the correct phrase. When describing habitual past actions use past tense 'loved'. Use the gerund 'visiting' after verbs of liking in this context. Remove unnecessary 'to' after 'visit' and use 'relieve' (not 'leave') for stress. Suggestion: say 'as a child I loved visiting the park' and keep verbs consistent in past tense.

× Moreover, it was a chance where I can have good time with my friends and meet my friends and even play some outdoor games.

✓ Moreover, it was a place where I could have a good time with my friends and even play some outdoor games.

The sentence mixes past context with present modal 'can'. In past narrative use 'could'. 'Chance where' is unnatural; 'place where' is better. Also use the article 'a' before 'good time' and avoid repeating 'meet my friends'. Suggestion: maintain past tense and streamline repeated ideas.

× Well, yes, these days I also visit to the parks as that as parks helps me to breathe fresh air and relieve my stress of my daily routine and even it provides a chance to help me to meet my friends and community people.

✓ Well, yes, these days I also visit parks because they help me breathe fresh air, relieve the stress of my daily routine, and give me a chance to meet friends and other people in the community.

Do not use 'visit to'; the correct verb is 'visit' without 'to'. 'Parks helps' has subject-verb disagreement; use 'they help'. 'Relieve my stress of my daily routine' is awkward; use 'relieve the stress of my daily routine'. 'Community people' is unnatural; use 'other people in the community'. Also avoid unnecessary 'it provides a chance to help me' — simplify to 'give me a chance'. Maintain present tense for current habits.

× Well, I would like to, well I yes, I would love to have parks in more in cities more as I love the more greener spaces.

✓ Well, yes, I would love to have more parks in cities because I love greener spaces.

The original has redundant and disordered phrases ('in more in cities more') and incorrect comparative phrasing 'the more greener' (double comparative). Use 'more parks' and 'greener spaces' without 'the more'. Simplify the sentence and ensure subject-verb agreement and correct comparative form. Suggestion: 'I would love to have more parks in cities because I enjoy greener spaces.'

× Moreover, it helps to reduce the noise pollution and even make the air more cleaner.

✓ Moreover, they help reduce noise pollution and make the air cleaner.

Use plural subject 'they' referring to parks. 'Reduce the noise pollution' can be 'reduce noise pollution' (no article needed). 'More cleaner' is incorrect (double comparative); use 'cleaner'. Also match verbs without 'to' after modal-like structure: 'help reduce' and 'make' are correct. Suggestion: keep parallel structure and correct comparative.

× Moreover, it provides a chance for the community people to meet and the form there.

✓ Moreover, they provide an opportunity for community members to meet and form connections there.

The phrase 'the form there' is ungrammatical and unclear. Replace with 'form connections' or 'form friendships'. Use 'they provide' to agree with plural 'parks' and 'community members' instead of 'community people'. Suggestion: be clear about what is formed (connections, friendships) and keep plural agreement.

× Well, there are numbers of parks which are on my list but out of all, one park which I really want to visit is a Juhu park which is located in Mumbai.

✓ Well, there are a number of parks on my list, but one park I really want to visit is Juhu Park in Mumbai.

Use 'a number of' (not 'numbers of') for countable plural. 'A Juhu park' is wrong if the park name is unique; use 'Juhu Park' without an article. 'Which are on my list' can be shortened to 'on my list'. Also simplify relative clauses for clarity. Suggestion: 'There are a number of parks on my list, but the one I want to visit most is Juhu Park in Mumbai.'

× I like to visit that park because it is near to the beach and uh, that is a place where I can sit and relax and it is a quite place because being.

✓ I would like to visit that park because it is near the beach, and it is a quiet place where I can sit and relax.

Use 'near the beach' (not 'near to the beach' in this context). 'Quite' is a misspelling of 'quiet' here meaning peaceful. The ending 'because being' is incomplete; remove it and restructure. Also prefer 'I would like to visit' for future intention. Suggestion: say 'it is a quiet place where I can sit and relax' and avoid unfinished clauses.