Parks— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Be more grammatically accurate and concise. Start with a direct topic sentence (past tense), then add one or two specific supporting details using linking words. Avoid repetition and long run-on sentences.

예시: Yes, I enjoyed going to parks as a child. For example, I often went there after school to play cricket with my friends, which helped me relax and forget about homework. Overall, those visits are some of my fondest childhood memories.

제안: Use correct verb forms and avoid fillers. Give a clear present-tense topic sentence, then two specific reasons linked with connectors (for example, because, so). Remove repeated words.

예시: Yes, I still enjoy going to parks. I like them because I can meet local people and chat, and I can also get fresh air which helps me relax and reduce stress.

제안: Answer directly and avoid hesitations. Use linking words to present reasons clearly and finish your thought. Provide one or two concrete benefits of more parks with clear phrasing.

예시: Definitely — I would like to see more parks in the city. More green spaces improve air quality and reduce noise, and they also provide safe places for families and children to exercise and relax.

제안: Finish your sentence and give specific reasons. Start with a clear topic sentence (present/future), then explain why you want to visit that park with concrete details. Avoid vague language and correct prepositions and article use.

예시: Yes, I would like to visit several parks, but my top choice is Juhu Park in Mumbai. I want to go because it is famous for its seaside views and open lawns, which would be great for walking and taking photos.

× Well in my childhood I love to go to parks as that was the time where I can re escape from my school homework and moreover have a good time with my childhood friends and have some fun games.

✓ Well, in my childhood I loved going to parks because that was a time when I could escape from my school homework and have a good time with my childhood friends and play some fun games.

The sentence mixes present tense 'love' with past context 'in my childhood' so verbs should be in the past (loved, could). Also use 'going to parks' -> 'going to parks' as a gerund, and 'play some fun games' is more natural than repeating 'have'. Use 'when' instead of 'where' for time reference. Suggestions: match tense to context, use gerunds for activities, and choose 'when' for time clauses.

× Really, yes, I still love to going to parks as it is the time where I can can interact with the local people and even it was a chance where I can have a fresh air where where I can relax and release some stress.

✓ Really, yes, I still love going to parks because it is a time when I can interact with local people, get some fresh air, and relax to relieve stress.

After 'love' use the gerund form 'going' not 'to going'. Remove duplicated words 'can can' and repeated 'where'. Use 'when' for time clauses. 'Have a fresh air' is incorrect; use 'get some fresh air'. Use 'relieve stress' rather than 'release some stress'. Suggestions: use gerunds after verbs of preference, avoid word repetition, and use correct collocations like 'get fresh air' and 'relieve stress'.

× Uh well, definitely yes I love to see more parks in the urban area as I am a person who love to enjoy the greenery and green spaces as it adds a value to the city for example, it helps to reduce the noise pollution and even.

✓ Uh, well, definitely yes, I would like to see more parks in urban areas because I enjoy greenery and green spaces; they add value to the city, for example by helping to reduce noise pollution.

Mixes present simple 'love to see' and 'I am a person who love' with subject-verb disagreement ('person who love' should be 'person who loves' but rephrasing is better). Use 'would like' to answer a future/preference question. 'Adds a value' is incorrect; use 'add value' or 'add a value' only in specific contexts. 'Noise pollution and even.' is incomplete. Suggestions: use 'would like' for polite preference, ensure subject-verb agreement, and complete thoughts.

× Well, there are numbers of parks where I would love to visit but from all above, the first goal of visiting the park is the Juhu park which is located in the Mumbai. So I love to visit that because I.

✓ Well, there are a number of parks I would love to visit, but above all the first park I want to visit is Juhu Park, which is located in Mumbai. So I would love to visit it because...

'There are numbers of parks' is incorrect; use 'a number of parks' or 'many parks'. 'From all above' should be 'above all'. 'the Juhu park which is located in the Mumbai' has article errors and unnecessary 'the' before 'Mumbai' and capitalization: use 'Juhu Park' and 'Mumbai' without 'the'. Sentence ends incomplete; 'I.' should be completed. Suggestions: use correct quantifier 'a number of' or 'many', use 'above all' to indicate priority, and omit 'the' before city names.