Parks— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Make the answer grammatically correct, more natural and concise. Start with a clear topic sentence, then add one specific supporting detail. Avoid repeating 'like' and unnecessary words.

예시: Yes, I loved going to parks as a child because I enjoyed the outdoor exercise and playing games with other kids. For example, we often played tag and climbed trees, which kept me active and happy.

제안: Use a natural phrase for 'refresh' and correct grammar. Provide one specific activity and link reasons with a connecting phrase. Keep it within 3–4 sentences.

예시: Yes, I still enjoy going to parks because they help me relax and recharge. For instance, I often have picnics there and read books under a tree, which is peaceful and refreshing.

제안: Answer directly and avoid fillers like 'umm' or vague phrases. Be specific about the problems and explain why more parks are needed, using linking words such as 'because' or 'so'.

예시: Yes, I would like to see more parks in my city because there are currently very few green spaces. As a result, residents have limited places to exercise or relax, so adding parks would improve public health and community life.

제안: Be specific about which park you mean and give a clear reason. Remove hesitations and use comparative language correctly. One concise example sentence following the topic sentence is enough.

예시: Yes, I would like to visit the city botanical park in the future because it has much more greenery and walking trails than the smaller neighborhood parks, which would be great for a long relaxing walk.

× Yes, I like to go to a park when I was little and because I like exercise and I like playing with other children.

✓ Yes, I liked going to parks when I was little because I liked exercise and playing with other children.

The sentence mixes present tense 'like' with past time reference 'when I was little'. Use past tense 'liked' to match the time frame. Also use plural 'parks' for general childhood habit and simplify repetition by combining verbs: 'liked exercise and playing' for natural phrasing.

× Yes, I like to go to park because I can refresh and I often go to park to do picnic and reading a book.

✓ Yes, I like to go to the park because I can relax, and I often go to the park to have a picnic and read a book.

The noun 'park' needs the definite article 'the' when referring to parks in general in this context. 'Refresh' is not the correct verb; use 'relax' or 'refresh myself'. Use 'have a picnic' and parallel verb forms 'have a picnic and read a book' instead of 'to do picnic and reading a book'.

× Yes, it's because umm in my city there are few parks that can feel re refreshed and there are many Li limitations such as uh.

✓ Yes, it's because in my city there are few parks where you can feel relaxed, and there are many limitations.

Using 'few' is correct but the sentence had redundancy and filler words. 'That can feel re refreshed' is ungrammatical; use 'where you can feel relaxed'. 'Li' and 'such as uh' are nonspecific fillers; remove them. Also simplify structure to be clear and grammatical.

× Yes they are umm, it's like, uh, umm, peak. And there are umm, much green than that of that.

✓ Yes, there are some, for example a peak with much more greenery than other places.

Original sentence is fragmented and uses fillers. 'Much green' is incorrect; use 'much more greenery' or 'a lot more green space'. 'Than that of that' is ungrammatical; compare directly 'more greenery than other places'. Restructure to a clear comparative sentence.