Parks— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Be more concise and organized: start with a clear topic sentence, then give one or two specific supporting details. Avoid filler words (like, uh) and repetition. Use correct tense consistency (past for childhood) and reduce grammatical errors (e.g. ‘I liked going to parks as a child’).

예시: I liked going to parks as a child. For example, I often went there with my friends to play cricket and football, which helped me stay active and make friends.

제안: Answer directly and use linking words to connect ideas. Remove disfluencies and small hesitations. Use more precise vocabulary (connect with nature, relieve stress). Keep it within 2–4 sentences and give a specific example of what you do there.

예시: Yes, I still enjoy going to parks because they help me stay active and connect with nature. For instance, I often go for a 30-minute walk there after work to relieve stress and clear my mind.

제안: Provide a clearer opinion with a reason and a linking phrase. Avoid unclear grammar and filler words. Say whether you would or would not like more parks and explain briefly (accessibility, maintenance, diversity of facilities).

예시: I wouldn't say we need many more parks because my city already has plenty. Instead, I think improving existing parks—adding benches and playgrounds—would be more useful.

제안: Be specific about which park you want to visit and give a short reason and a plan. Use correct tense and reduce repetition. Link sentences (For example, because, so) to sound coherent.

예시: Yes, I want to visit Riverside Park because I’ve heard it has beautiful gardens and walking trails. I plan to go there next weekend when I have a day off.

× Yeah, I like to go to the park as a child and still I like to go to the park.

✓ Yeah, I liked going to the park as a child and I still like to go to the park.

The sentence mixes past reference 'as a child' with present simple 'I like to go', causing tense inconsistency. Use past tense 'liked' for childhood habits and keep present 'like' for current habits. Suggestion: separate the two time frames clearly: 'I liked... as a child' and 'I still like... now.'

× But when I was a child I used to go with my friends to play cricket and football in in the park because we have like as a child, we have to play like for our like.

✓ But when I was a child I used to go with my friends to play cricket and football in the park because as children we had to play a lot.

The original is repetitive and ungrammatical. 'Used to' correctly expresses past habitual action. 'We have like as a child' is ungrammatical; change to 'as children we had to play' or 'we played a lot.' Remove filler words 'like' and duplicate 'in'.

× Yeah, as I told you previously, I like to go to the park, uh, right now also because it makes me stay active and I can, uh, connect to the nature.

✓ Yeah, as I told you previously, I like to go to the park now as well because it helps me stay active and I can connect with nature.

'Right now also' is awkward; 'now as well' or 'also now' is better. Use 'helps me stay active' rather than 'makes me stay active.' Use 'connect with nature' rather than 'connect to the nature' — 'nature' does not need the definite article here and 'connect with' is the usual collocation.

× Like we, we all have like work related, uh, stress, but we can go to park and relax like.

✓ We all have work-related stress, but we can go to the park and relax.

Remove filler 'like'. 'Work-related' needs a hyphen. 'Go to park' is missing the definite article 'the' when referring to parks in general context; use 'the park.' Also remove repeated words and extra 'like.'

× Not really because which I'm living right now has already many of the park, but uh, uh, like we can go to any park and we can do any activity.

✓ Not really because the area where I live already has many parks, but we can go to any park and do different activities.

Original misuses 'which I'm living right now' and 'many of the park.' Correct to 'the area where I live' or 'the place where I live.' 'Many parks' is the correct plural noun phrase. Simplify 'we can do any activity' to 'do different activities.'

× Yeah, there are many parks in in my city, as I told you earlier.

✓ Yeah, there are many parks in my city, as I told you earlier.

Only error is duplicate 'in'. Removing the repeated word fixes the sentence. Tense is appropriate.

× So I I didn't visit every park, but I listen like some of the best park in my city.

✓ So I haven't visited every park, but I heard that some of the best parks in my city...

'I didn't visit every park' is grammatically possible but sounds odd with present relevance; present perfect 'I haven't visited' fits better. 'I listen like' is incorrect; use 'I heard' or 'I've heard.' 'Some of the best park' needs plural 'parks.'

× I never visit. When I will get a holiday on my own weekend, I will.

✓ I have never visited them. When I get a holiday on a weekend, I will go.

'I never visit' is wrong tense and missing object; use present perfect 'have never visited.' In English, we normally do not use 'will' in the subordinate time clause ('when I get')—use present simple there and 'will' in the main clause: 'When I get a holiday... I will go.' Also specify 'them' (the parks) and simplify 'on my own weekend' to 'on a weekend' or 'on my weekend off.'