Parks— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Be more concise and natural: start with a clear topic sentence, avoid absolutes like "cannot skip," and limit to 3–4 sentences. Add one or two specific supporting details (a memory or activity) and use simple linking words such as "because" or "so" to improve coherence.

예시: Yes, I loved going to parks as a child. I felt excited when my family said we were going because playing on the swings and having picnics lifted my mood. Also, meeting other children there helped me make friends, so parks were a special part of my childhood.

제안: Make the answer direct and grammatically correct. Start with a clear topic sentence (Yes/No + brief reason), avoid repetition ("I barely" twice), and correct awkward phrases ("steal and wind outside"). Add one specific detail about why time is limited or when you try to visit parks, and use a linking word like "but" or "however."

예시: Not really — I rarely go to parks now because I work long hours and have little free time. However, I try to visit a park on weekends when possible to get fresh air and relax.

제안: Respond directly with a clear reason and specific examples of benefits. Avoid vague phrases like "gives a lot of excitement" and repetitive sentences. Use linking words ("because", "for example") and include one concrete example of activities or benefits for different age groups.

예시: Yes, I would. More parks would benefit families because they offer safe spaces for exercise and play. For example, children can use playgrounds and sports fields after school, while adults can enjoy walking paths or outdoor fitness equipment.

제안: Answer the question directly and briefly, then add a specific alternative plan. Avoid categorical statements that contradict earlier answers. Use a linking word ("instead") and give one concrete travel example or a condition when you might visit a park in future.

예시: Not particularly — I prefer travelling abroad to experience different cultures and cuisines. Instead, if I visit a new city, I might go to a well-known urban park to relax and see local life.

× Yes, absolutely. I think that as a child you cannot skip going to the park and I always feel excited whenever my family tells me that we're going to the park because going there can somewhat change my mood and it really makes me happy and enthusiastic.

✓ Yes, absolutely. I think that as a child you cannot skip going to the park, and I always felt excited whenever my family told me we were going to the park because going there could change my mood and it really made me happy and enthusiastic.

The original mixes present tense narration with past-childhood context. When talking about childhood habits, use past tense (felt, told, were, could, made) rather than present (feel, tells, we're). Change verbs to past tense to maintain temporal consistency. Suggestion: keep all verbs describing past experiences in the past tense.

× I barely go to the park now because I am a grown up person already, I barely have time to roam around and go outside but I still wished and I am trying my best to give time to steal and wind outside.

✓ I barely go to the park now because I am already a grown-up and I barely have time to go out, but I still wish to and am trying my best to make time to get outside and relax.

Errors: inconsistent verb forms and incorrect word choices ('wished', 'steal and wind outside'). Use present tense for current habits (barely go, am), use correct adjectives and expressions ('grown-up'), and correct verb phrases for making time ('make time', 'get outside and relax'). Replace 'wished' with 'wish to' and remove inappropriate idioms.

× Yes, I would like to see more parks, mainly because it gives a lot of excitement, especially for children knowing that there are many activities that they can do in there.

✓ Yes, I would like to see more parks, mainly because they give children a lot of excitement, and there are many activities that they can do there.

Agreement and word form issues: 'it gives' disagrees with plural 'parks' so use 'they give'. 'Knowing that' is unnecessary and awkward here; simplify with 'and'. Remove redundant preposition 'in' after 'do' and fix word order for clarity.

× There is something that the children can expect to do whenever they finish studying.

✓ There are activities that children can look forward to doing when they finish studying.

Use plural 'activities' with 'there are' for agreement. 'Expect to do' is awkward; 'look forward to doing' is a more natural collocation. Also remove 'the' before 'children' when speaking generally.

× It's like a reward for them going to parks.

✓ It's like a reward for them for going to the parks.

Add a preposition for clarity: 'a reward for them for going' or better 'a reward for going to the parks'. Alternatively, 'a reward for children who go to the parks.' Ensure nouns match ('parks' or 'the parks') and pronoun use is clear.

× I am not really fond of going to any parks anymore since I am already a grown up adult.

✓ I am not really fond of going to parks anymore since I am already a grown-up adult.

Hyphenate 'grown-up' when used as an adjective. Also 'going to any parks' is awkward; use 'going to parks' for general statement. Tense is fine but punctuation and word form need minor correction.

× I just prefer going or traveling to other countries, experiencing other cultures and also trying the best foods in other countries.

✓ I just prefer traveling to other countries, experiencing other cultures, and trying the best foods there.

Avoid repetition 'other countries' twice; replace second with pronoun 'there'. Use parallel gerund forms and prefer a single verb ('prefer traveling') rather than 'going or traveling'. Use commas to separate items in the list for clarity.