Parks— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Cải thiện ngữ pháp thời quá khứ, thứ tự từ và lựa chọn từ để câu tự nhiên hơn; giảm lặp từ và viết câu ngắn gọn hơn (không quá 5 câu). Cụ thể: dùng thì quá khứ đơn chính xác (“I liked”), tránh từ không cần thiết như “finally”, thay “satisfied me a lot” bằng cụm tự nhiên hơn như “I enjoyed them a lot”. Thêm một câu hỗ trợ ngắn với từ nối để làm rõ lý do.

예시: I liked going to parks as a child because I enjoyed watching the animals and playing on the playground. I especially loved feeding ducks by the pond, which made those visits memorable.

제안: Sửa ngữ pháp thì hiện tại, số ít/ số nhiều và cấu trúc câu; tránh câu rời rạc và không rõ nghĩa. Nên bắt đầu bằng một câu chủ đề rõ ràng (“Yes, I still enjoy going to parks.”), rồi dùng liên từ (because, and, while) để nối và đưa chi tiết cụ thể (ví dụ: “I prefer parks with natural scenery and walking paths”). Tránh lỗi như “the parks is which is” và “I am a teenagers”.

예시: Yes, I still enjoy going to parks. I prefer parks that are close to nature because they have pleasant scenery and walking paths, and I often go there to relax or exercise.

제안: Chỉnh ngôn ngữ tự nhiên và ngữ pháp: thay “UMM” (vốn là tiếng lấp lửng) bằng từ rõ ràng hoặc loại bỏ, dùng cấu trúc mạch lạc (topic sentence + lý do). Dùng thì hiện tại đơn cho thói quen và tránh cấu trúc sai (“have me to get”). Hãy nêu thêm ví dụ cụ thể (ví dụ: “more picnic areas, benches, and green spaces”).

예시: Yes, I would like to see more parks in my city because they would give people an escape from the hustle and bustle and help them relax. For example, more green spaces and benches would encourage families to spend time outdoors.

제안: Làm rõ tên địa điểm và lý do; tránh lặp từ “umm” và cấu trúc sai (“belongs to my childhood when I watch cartoons”). Nên mở đầu bằng câu trực tiếp (“I would like to visit ...”), cung cấp lý do cụ thể và liên kết hợp lý với ký ức trẻ thơ nếu muốn (ví dụ: “it reminds me of places in cartoons”).

예시: I would like to visit the Sydney Park in Shanghai in the future because it is famous and I remember seeing similar scenes in cartoons when I was a child, which makes me curious to see it in real life.

× I finally like going to parks when I was a child because I love the animals and the playground in parks.

✓ I liked going to parks when I was a child because I loved the animals and the playgrounds in the parks.

The sentence mixes present and past tenses incorrectly by using present 'like' and 'love' with the past time phrase 'when I was a child'. Use past tense verbs 'liked' and 'loved' to match the past time reference. Also pluralize 'playground' to 'playgrounds' or use 'the playground' with 'parks' consistently. Suggestion: maintain consistent past tense for events that happened in childhood.

× It's very beautiful and it satisfied me a lot.

✓ They were very beautiful and they satisfied me a lot.

This sentence refers to 'parks' (plural), so use plural pronouns and verbs: 'they were' instead of 'it's' and 'satisfied' stays past tense to match 'when I was a child'. Use 'were' for plural subjects. Suggestion: ensure pronouns and verbs agree in number with the noun they refer to.

× Yes of course that now I still like going to parks but the parks is which is close to nature and have more scenery like the plot.

✓ Yes, of course I still like going to parks now, but I prefer parks that are closer to nature and have more scenery, like gardens and open spaces.

The original mixes awkward structures and incorrect verb forms: 'the parks is' should be 'parks that are' (plural subject with plural verb). 'Which is close' is incorrect relative clause placement. 'Have' should match plural 'parks'. 'Plot' is unclear; use 'gardens' or 'open spaces'. Suggestion: use 'parks that are' for defining relative clauses and ensure subject-verb agreement.

× Like the park is consist of playgrounds for children because now I am a teenagers.

✓ For example, parks consist of playgrounds for children because I am now a teenager.

Use 'parks consist of' (not 'is consist of'); 'consist' does not take 'is'. Also 'a teenagers' is wrong: use 'a teenager' or 'a teen'. Ensure singular/plural match: 'I am a teenager'. Suggestion: learn verb patterns (consist of + noun) and correct noun number for 'teenager'.

× I would like to see more parks in my city because UMM parks will have me to get out of the hustle and bustle life and also UMM help me to be more relaxed.

✓ I would like to see more parks in my city because parks will allow me to get away from the hustle and bustle of life and will help me relax.

'Will have me to get' is incorrect; use 'will allow me to' or 'will help me to get away'. 'UMM' seems extraneous or unclear; use 'parks' or clarify abbreviation. 'Help me to be more relaxed' is better as 'help me relax'. Suggestion: use 'allow' or 'help' with correct infinitive structures and remove unnecessary words.

× I want to go to the Sydney Parks in Shanghai in the future because it's a very famous park in the world and it's umm.

✓ I want to go to Sydney Park in Shanghai in the future because it is a very famous park in the world.

Use singular proper name 'Sydney Park' if referring to one park; 'the Sydney Parks' is incorrect. 'It's umm' is filler; remove it. Ensure 'it is' matches the singular park. Suggestion: use correct proper noun and avoid fillers in formal answers.

× It's umm, belongs to my childhood when I watch cartoons a lot.

✓ It belongs to my childhood because I watched a lot of cartoons when I was young.

Use 'it belongs' without 'it's' + comma. The time reference is past, so use past tense 'watched' and 'was' to match 'childhood'. 'When I watch cartoons a lot' incorrectly uses present tense. Suggestion: align tense to the past when describing childhood memories and use correct clause structure.