Parks— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Clarifiez et organisez votre réponse : commencez par une phrase directe répondant à la question, puis ajoutez un ou deux détails concrets. Évitez les répétitions (« with my family » deux fois) et les incohérences de temps (désormais vs. autrefois). Utilisez des mots de liaison simples (for example, and) pour rendre la réponse plus fluide.

예시: Yes, I loved going to parks as a child. For example, when I lived in a villa we often visited nearby parks with small playgrounds, and I would play games with my family. Those visits were memorable because we spent quality time together and I enjoyed playing on the swings and slides.

제안: Soyez plus concise et naturelle : donnez une phrase claire puis un ou deux motifs précis. Évitez hésitations (« umm », « to be honest with you ») et reformulations maladroites (« making some spots in my day »). Utilisez un connecteur de cause (because, since) pour lier l'idée principale aux raisons.

예시: Not really, I don’t go to parks much now because I’m very busy with studying and work. Since my schedule is tight, I prefer to spend free time at home or on short walks rather than visiting parks.

제안: Donnez une réponse directe suivie d'exemples précis et évitez formulations confuses (« I see myself on them »). Expliquez pourquoi plus de parcs seraient bénéfiques (pour les enfants, le sport, la communauté) et utilisez des mots de liaison (for example, because) pour organiser vos idées.

예시: Yes, I would. More parks would be great because they provide safe places for children to play and for people to exercise. For example, new parks with football fields and playgrounds would encourage kids and adults to be more active.

제안: Rendez la réponse plus concise et corrigez les répétitions et erreurs de temps (« when I grow up » et « was a kid » en même temps). Évitez redondances (« one of my one of my dreams »). Donnez une raison simple pour ce souhait et mentionnez qui vous accompagnerez pour montrer détail personnel.

예시: Yes, I would like to visit Disneyland in the future. It has been my dream since childhood because of the rides and atmosphere, and I hope to go there with my wife and my mother one day.

× Yeah, of course that was one of my favorite days, especially in my villa.

✓ Yeah, of course, that was one of my favorite places, especially near my villa.

The original sentence mixes 'days' with a location reference ('in my villa'), causing a sentence structure and semantic mismatch. Replace 'days' with 'places' to match the location context, and add commas for clarity. Suggestion: ensure nouns refer consistently to time or place.

× But now we have many parks with mini games, so I used to go with my family to the parks and play games and had a beautiful time with my family.

✓ But now we have many parks with mini games, so I go with my family to the parks and play games and have a beautiful time with them.

The phrase 'used to go' indicates a past habitual action, which conflicts with 'But now we have...' that sets a present context. Use present tense 'go' and 'have' to match. Also remove repeated 'with my family' to avoid redundancy. Suggestion: keep tense consistent with time markers and avoid repetition.

× Well, to be honest with you, no.

✓ Well, to be honest, no.

This is a stylistic improvement: 'to be honest with you' is wordy in spoken replies; 'to be honest' is more natural. No grammatical error category in the list exactly fits, but adjusting improves fluency.

× Umm, that's because I don't have enough time to go to the parks.

✓ Umm, that's because I don't have enough time to go to the parks.

Sentence is correct; no change needed. It uses the infinitive 'to go' correctly after 'time'.

× So I'm into studying, working and also making some spots in my day.

✓ So I'm into studying and working, and I also try to make some time in my day.

'Making some spots in my day' is unnatural. Use 'make some time' to express finding free time. Keep present participles 'studying' and 'working' correctly. Suggestion: use idiomatic phrases for time allocation.

× That's why I don't go to parks nowadays.

✓ That's why I don't go to parks nowadays.

Sentence is correct and consistent in present tense; no change needed.

× Absolutely, yeah.

✓ Absolutely.

Both 'absolutely' and 'yeah' together are redundant. Removing 'yeah' makes the response concise. This is stylistic rather than grammatical, but improves naturalness.

× I love to see kids when they are playing, specially 8 to 10 years old.

✓ I love to see kids when they are playing, especially those who are 8 to 10 years old.

Missing relative pronoun and incorrect spelling 'specially'. Add 'those who are' to specify the age group. Use 'especially' for emphasis. Suggestion: include a relative clause to modify 'kids'.

× I see myself on them when they are playing.

✓ I see myself in them when they are playing.

The correct preposition is 'in' for the idiom 'see myself in someone' meaning to relate to them. 'On them' is incorrect. Suggestion: use established idioms with correct prepositions.

× And also I used to play football in the parks, that's why.

✓ I also used to play football in the parks; that's why.

Grammatical content is acceptable: 'used to' correctly indicates past habit. Improve punctuation: use semicolon or separate sentences. Ensure 'also' placement is natural.

× Well, to be honest with you, I want to go to Disneyland with my mom and my wife when I grow up.

✓ Well, to be honest, I want to go to Disneyland with my mom and my wife when I get older.

'When I grow up' is odd for an adult speaker; 'when I get older' or 'someday' fits better. Tense should express future intention; 'want to go' is correct. Suggestion: choose time expressions appropriate to speaker's age.

× So Disneyland is one of my dreams when I was a kid and also one of my one of my dreams now.

✓ Disneyland was one of my dreams when I was a kid and is still one of my dreams now.

Mixed tenses and repeated phrase 'one of my one of my' cause errors. Use past tense 'was' for childhood and present 'is still' for now. Remove duplication. Suggestion: keep parallel structure when comparing past and present desires.

× So I want to go with my family and my wife one day.

✓ So I want to go with my family — my wife included — one day.

Saying 'my family and my wife' can imply wife is not part of family; rephrase to include wife within family. Clarify relationships to avoid redundancy and ambiguity.