Parks— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Be more direct and concise: start with a clear topic sentence answering the question, then add one or two specific supporting details using linking words. Avoid uncertain phrases like "if I'm not mistaken" and correct small grammar issues (e.g., "tend to stay in my house").

예시: No, I didn't enjoy going to parks as a child because my neighborhood was unsafe. Therefore, I usually stayed at home and played indoors, and I rarely visited public places for safety reasons.

제안: Answer directly and give a clear reason with a linking word. Replace vague phrases like "don't have special preference" with precise expressions such as "I rarely go to parks" or "I don't prefer them much."

예시: Not really. I rarely go to parks now because I have limited free time and there are few convenient parks near me, so I don't choose them often for recreation.

제안: Good direct answer. Improve by using exact numbers and clearer linking words, and shorten repetition. Mention a specific benefit of having more parks to strengthen the response.

예시: Yes, I would. Currently there are only one or two parks near my neighborhood, so I hope the city will build more because additional green spaces would improve air quality and provide safe places for families to exercise.

제안: Start with a clear topic sentence naming the park or type of park, then give a specific reason and use correct verb forms (e.g., "we have started to care about our health"). Keep it within 2–3 sentences.

예시: Yes, there is a nearby community park I want to visit with my family because it is close to home. We have started to care more about our health, so we plan to walk there regularly for exercise and fresh air.

× Well if I'm not mistaken, in the past I didn't like to go out of my house because where I live is quite harmful and not safe to live there.

✓ Well, if I'm not mistaken, in the past I didn't like to go out of my house because the place where I lived was quite harmful and not safe.

This sentence mixes present and past reference incorrectly and has awkward phrasing. Use past tense 'lived' for a past situation and rephrase 'where I live' to 'the place where I lived'. Also replace 'to live there' with 'was' to avoid redundancy and improve clarity.

× So I tend to stick in my house instead of going outside.

✓ So I tended to stay in my house instead of going outside.

The original uses present habitual 'tend' while the context is past; 'stick in my house' is unidiomatic. Use past 'tended' and the correct verb 'stay'.

× Well, unluckily I don't have much chance to spend time outside my house, especially at the parks.

✓ Well, unfortunately I don't have many opportunities to spend time outside my house, especially in parks.

'Unluckily' is less natural than 'unfortunately'. 'Much chance' is incorrect; use 'many opportunities' for countable occasions. Use preposition 'in parks' rather than 'at the parks' for general reference.

× So I would say I don't have special preference to go to parks.

✓ So I would say I don't have a particular preference for going to parks.

'Special preference' is awkward; 'particular preference' is more natural. Add the article 'a' and use preposition 'for' and gerund 'going'.

× Yes, I think I would like to see more parks, especially in my hometown because right now there is only one or two parks as far as I know in my neighborhood, and in the future I hope it will be more than two.

✓ Yes, I would like to see more parks, especially in my hometown, because right now there is only one or two parks, as far as I know, in my neighborhood, and in the future I hope there will be more than two.

Remove redundant 'think' for conciseness. Insert commas for clarity. Use 'there will be' instead of 'it will be' to refer to number of parks. The phrase 'one or two parks' is acceptable but keep consistent verb 'is' -> 'are' if rephrased; here 'there is only one or two parks' is informal but acceptable; main correction is subject-reference 'it' to 'there'.

× Well, yes, it is not far from my house and I want to go there especially with my family because we are started to caring about our health more than in the past.

✓ Well, yes, it is not far from my house and I want to go there especially with my family because we have started to care more about our health than in the past.

'We are started to caring' is ungrammatical. Use present perfect 'have started' plus infinitive or base verb: 'to care' or 'care'. Also 'care more about our health' is the correct word order; remove extra 'to' and use comparative 'than in the past'.