Parks— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Be more accurate and concise. Start with a clear topic sentence, correct grammar (past tense), remove redundancy, and give one specific detail using a linking word. Avoid filler words and fix collocations (e.g., “every weekend,” “go to the park”).

예시: Yes, I loved going to the park as a child. For example, I used to play on the swings and slides with my friends every weekend because my parents would take us there to enjoy the fresh air.

제안: Give a complete, grammatically correct response and include one specific supporting detail with a linking word. Avoid sentence fragments and repeat ideas. Use accurate collocations like “have a picnic.”

예시: Yes, I still enjoy going to parks because they help me relax and meet friends; for example, we often have a picnic and chat under the trees on weekends.

제안: Be concise and avoid repetition. Use a clear reason and one specific effect or benefit. Correct collocations (“go to the park,” “free time”) and use linking words for coherence.

예시: Yes, I would like more parks in my city because many people need green spaces to relax; for instance, families could spend their free time there instead of staying indoors.

제안: Clarify and correct tense and word choice. Provide one specific example of a park or country and use linking words. Avoid repetition and filler words; use accurate plural forms and vocabulary (e.g., “scenery” uncountable).

예시: Yes, I would like to visit parks abroad because many countries have beautiful natural parks; for example, I hope to see Japan’s parks in spring to photograph the cherry blossoms and varied landscapes.

× Yes, I like going to parks.

✓ Yes, I liked going to parks.

The question asked about childhood (past), so the verb should be in the past tense to match the time frame. Use 'liked' to indicate past preference. Suggestion: Match verb tense to time expressions (when I was a child).

× When I was a child we used to play on the swings and slides with my friends.

✓ When I was a child, we used to play on the swings and slides with my friends.

Missing comma after introductory clause 'When I was a child'. This is a punctuation issue related to sentence structure rather than verb tense; nevertheless the tense 'used to play' is correct for past habitual actions. Suggestion: Add a comma after introductory time clauses.

× My parents often took me at the on in parks like every weekends.

✓ My parents often took me to the parks on weekends.

Prepositions and articles were incorrect: 'took me to' is the correct verb-preposition combination; 'in parks' should be 'the parks' or 'parks' with context; 'every weekends' is ungrammatical—use 'on weekends' or 'every weekend'. Suggestion: Use 'took me to the parks' and 'on weekends' or 'every weekend'.

× Yes, I still like to go to parks because this is where I can relax and meet my friends to chat.

✓ Yes, I still like going to parks because that is where I can relax and meet my friends to chat.

Mix of 'still like to go' is acceptable but 'this is where' refers to present general preference; changing to 'going' makes style consistent. Also 'that' is more natural when referring back to 'parks'. Suggestion: Use consistent verb forms for habits: 'like going' and use 'that' to refer back.

× And sometimes we go picnic and it's.

✓ And sometimes we have picnics, and it's fun.

Sentence fragments and wrong verb usage: 'go picnic' is incorrect — use 'have a picnic' or 'go on a picnic'. The fragment 'it's.' is incomplete; finish with an adjective such as 'fun'. Suggestion: Use full sentence 'we have picnics' or 'we go on picnics' and complete the thought.

× Yes, I would like to see more parks in my city because some people want to go park to the parks and have their have their free time and go and have some time to relax.

✓ Yes, I would like to see more parks in my city because some people want to go to the parks and have their free time to relax.

Preposition errors: use 'go to the parks' not 'go park to the parks'. Repetition 'have their have their' is redundant. 'Have their free time and go and have some time to relax' is repetitive; simplify to 'have their free time to relax'. Suggestion: Use 'go to the parks' and avoid repetition; condense phrases for clarity.

× Yes, I want to see other parks outside my country because I knew the parks outside my outside and other countries are beautiful.

✓ Yes, I want to see parks in other countries because I know parks abroad are beautiful.

Tense and word choice errors: 'I knew' is past tense but the statement expresses present belief—use 'I know'. Redundant 'outside my outside and other countries' is garbled; use 'parks in other countries' or 'parks abroad'. Suggestion: Use 'I know' for present belief and 'parks in other countries' or 'parks abroad' for clarity.

× There is so many trees and plants and sceneries that I can take some pictures of of of them.

✓ There are so many trees, plants, and beautiful scenes that I can take pictures of.

Subject-verb agreement: 'There is so many trees' should be 'There are so many trees' because 'trees' is plural. 'Sceneries' is awkward; 'scenes' or 'scenery' is better. Repeated words 'of of of' are errors. Also remove unnecessary 'some' before 'pictures' for conciseness. Suggestion: Use 'There are so many trees and plants' and 'scenes' or 'scenery', and avoid repeated words.