Parks— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Be more concise and correct verb tense, use a clear topic sentence then two supporting details. Reduce repetition and link ideas with simple connectors (for example, 'because', 'so', 'and'). Fix grammar (e.g. 'I liked', 'it felt', 'I met many children', 'it was enjoyable', 'I could play alone').

예시: I liked going to parks when I was a child because I often felt lonely as an only child, so meeting other kids there helped me make friends. Also, the scenery was beautiful, and I enjoyed playing alone on swings or exploring paths.

제안: Good content and a clear example. Improve natural phrasing by correcting small errors and using smoother linking words: replace 'help me and wind' with 'help me unwind'. Keep answer within 3–4 sentences and maintain specific activities and effects as you did.

예시: Yes, I still enjoy going to parks because they help me unwind after a busy day. For example, I often walk along the lake path or sit under a tree to read, which makes me feel refreshed and more focused.

제안: Avoid repetition and correct word choice ('helps' → 'help', 'band with your friends' → 'bond with friends'). Start with a direct topic sentence and give two specific reasons with linking words. Trim redundant phrases (two mentions of relaxing).

예시: Yes, I would like to see more parks in my city because they help people relax and provide safe places to exercise. In addition, parks allow friends to meet and enjoy walks or picnics together.

제안: Expand your answer with a clear topic sentence and at least one specific detail: which country or type of park and why. Fix grammar ('parks that are outside my country' or 'parks abroad'). Use a linking phrase such as 'for example' to add clarity.

예시: Yes, I would like to visit parks abroad, especially national parks in New Zealand because I want to see dramatic landscapes and unique wildlife. For example, walking through native forests there would be a completely different experience from local parks.

× Yes, I like going to parks when I was a child because as an only child it feels really lonely when you are just by yourself.

✓ Yes, I liked going to parks when I was a child because, as an only child, it felt really lonely to be by myself.

The sentence mixes present tense 'like' with past time reference 'when I was a child'. Use past tense 'liked' and 'felt' for past events; change 'you are just by yourself' to 'to be by myself' to maintain first-person perspective and correct verb form. Suggestion: Keep past-tense verbs consistent when describing childhood experiences.

× But going to parks I met a lot of children that I can play with and it is really enjoying and I see a beautiful scenery and I can play and I can enjoy just by myself or without friends.

✓ But when I went to parks I met a lot of children I could play with, and it was really enjoyable; I saw beautiful scenery and I could play and enjoy myself both alone and with friends.

Multiple errors: tense inconsistency ('going' with past context) and incorrect verb forms. Change 'going to parks I met' to 'when I went to parks I met' and 'that I can play with' to 'I could play with' for past reference. 'It is really enjoying' is wrong; use adjective 'enjoyable' and past 'it was'. 'I see a beautiful scenery' should be 'I saw beautiful scenery' (no 'a' before uncountable 'scenery'). Use 'enjoy myself' not 'enjoy just by myself'. Suggestion: Use past tense verbs and correct adjective forms; avoid 'a' with uncountable nouns.

× Yes, I still enjoy going to parks at 25 because they help me and wind after a busy day and I love spending time outdoors.

✓ Yes, I still enjoy going to parks at 25 because they help me unwind after a busy day, and I love spending time outdoors.

The phrase 'help me and wind' is incorrect. The correct verb is 'unwind' as a single word meaning relax. Maintain present tense 'still enjoy' is appropriate for current habits. Add comma before 'and' for clarity. Suggestion: Use 'unwind' for the intended meaning and keep present tense for current routines.

× For example, I often walk along the lake path or sit under a tree to read, which makes me feel refreshed and more focused.

✓ For example, I often walk along the lakeside path or sit under a tree to read, which makes me feel refreshed and more focused.

This sentence is mostly correct, but 'lake path' is awkward; 'lakeside path' or 'path by the lake' is more natural. The gerund 'walking' is not required since 'I often walk' is fine. No tense changes needed. Suggestion: Prefer natural collocations like 'lakeside path'.

× Yes, I would like to see more parks in my city because I believe that it helps people to have a place to relax and it is a good place to exercise, to band with your friends and to just relax under the tree or walk.

✓ Yes, I would like to see more parks in my city because I believe that they help people by providing places to relax; they are good for exercising, for bonding with friends, or for simply relaxing under a tree or taking a walk.

Pronoun agreement: 'it helps' should be 'they help' to refer to 'parks' (plural). 'to band with your friends' is incorrect; the correct phrase is 'bond with friends'. Use parallel structure: 'good for exercising, for bonding..., or for relaxing.' Use 'a tree' not 'the tree' when speaking generally. Suggestion: Ensure plural subjects match plural verbs and use correct verb collocations like 'bond with'.

× Probably yes. I would like to go to parks that outside my country.

✓ Probably yes. I would like to go to parks that are outside my country.

The clause is missing the verb 'are' after 'parks' (there be / linking verb issue) and needs preposition 'outside my country' is fine; main error is missing verb. This fits 'There be issue' and subject-verb linking. Also could say 'in other countries' as a more natural alternative. Suggestion: Include the linking verb 'are' or rephrase as 'in other countries'.