Parks— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Be more concise and correct grammar. Start with a clear topic sentence, then add one or two specific supporting details. Fix tense and article errors (e.g., 'the place where I lived didn't have many parks nearby'). Use linking words like 'so' or 'because' to connect ideas. Keep it under five sentences.

예시: I wasn't very fond of going to parks as a child because there weren't many near my home. So I usually stayed indoors and spent my free time playing video games or reading books.

제안: Reduce fillers and correct grammar. Begin with a direct statement, then provide specific details with linking words. Avoid unclear phrases like 'the route pets' or 'the Highness'. Use present simple for regular habits and gerunds correctly (e.g., 'walking my dog and enjoying the fresh air').

예시: Yes, I do. I usually go to the park in the evening after finishing my work, where I walk my dog and enjoy the fresh air and the calm atmosphere.

제안: Make your opinion clear with a topic sentence, then give two specific reasons using linking words like 'because' and 'for example'. Correct phrasing: 'trees provide fresh air' and 'more parks would improve people's daily lives.' Avoid vague words like 'fresh vibes'.

예시: Yes, I would. I think parks are important because they improve both mental and physical health by providing green space and fresh air. For example, people can exercise or relax among trees, which reduces stress and encourages daily activity.

제안: Answer directly then give one clear reason and an example. Use correct expressions: 'there isn't a specific park in mind' and 'parks in other countries' rather than 'those foreign countries'. Explain what 'facilities' you mean (e.g., playgrounds, walking paths).

예시: Not a particular one, but I'd love to visit parks in other countries because they often have better facilities and different landscapes. For instance, I would like to see Japanese gardens and large urban parks with walking paths and cafés.

× Well to be honest I'm not really a big fan of going to parks since the place where I live that it had didn't have so much parks nearby and I usually prefer just staying at home playing video games or sometimes reading books more.

✓ Well, to be honest, I'm not really a big fan of going to parks since the place where I live didn't have many parks nearby, and I usually preferred staying at home, playing video games, or sometimes reading books.

This sentence has multiple structure and word choice issues: 'the place where I live that it had didn't have' is redundant and ungrammatical (Sentence structure errors - ID 26). 'so much parks' is incorrect quantifier usage; use 'many parks' for countable nouns (Quantifier error ID 14). The tense consistency should reflect childhood: use past 'preferred' instead of present 'prefer' (Past tense issue ID 5). Suggestions: remove redundant phrases, use 'didn't have many parks', and keep past tense for habits in childhood: 'I usually preferred staying at home...'. Also add commas for clarity.

× Well I would love to umm. I usually go to parks in the evening when I have done all of my work and I usually just walk my dog the route pets and enjoying the fresh air and the Highness, the umm calm mood at night.

✓ Well, I would love to. I usually go to parks in the evening after I have finished all of my work, and I usually just walk my dog, enjoy the fresh air, and the calm atmosphere at night.

This sentence contains sentence structure and verb form errors (Sentence structure errors - ID 26). 'when I have done all of my work' is awkward but acceptable; 'after I have finished' is clearer (Present perfect usage - ID 6). 'walk my dog the route pets and enjoying' mixes verb forms and lacks parallelism; use parallel verbs 'walk my dog' and 'enjoy the fresh air' (Verb + -ing/form parallelism issue - ID 8/10). 'Highness' is wrong word choice; 'calm atmosphere' is appropriate (Incorrect use of adjectives or nouns - ID 13). Suggestions: make verbs parallel, use 'after I have finished', and choose correct nouns like 'atmosphere' or 'ambience'.

× I love to see more parks. Well in my opinion parks are a great place for us to improve our mental health and also our physical health since there's a lot of trees that give us fresh vibes and oxygen and I think they have more parks will also improve like people daily.

✓ I would love to see more parks. In my opinion, parks are great places for improving our mental and physical health since there are a lot of trees that give us fresh air and oxygen, and I think having more parks would also improve people's daily lives.

Multiple issues: 'I love to see' is better as 'I would love to see' (Modal/tense nuance - ID 4/7). 'parks are a great place' should be plural 'places' to match plural 'parks' (Singular and plural issue - ID 1). 'there's a lot of trees' should be 'there are a lot of trees' (Subject-verb agreement ID 27 / There be issue ID 3). 'fresh vibes' is informal and vague; 'fresh air' is more appropriate (Incorrect use of adjectives or adverbs ID 13). 'they have more parks will also improve like people daily' is ungrammatical; corrected to 'having more parks would also improve people's daily lives' (Sentence structure errors ID 26 and incorrect use of pronouns ID 12). Suggestions: match singular/plural, use 'there are', choose clearer nouns, and restructure the final clause to 'having more parks would improve people's daily lives'.

× Well currently there isn't a specific park in my mind, but if I could I would love to visit in the parks in those foreign countries since I love the vibes and also like the facilities there.

✓ Well, currently there isn't a specific park in my mind, but if I could, I would love to visit parks in foreign countries since I love the atmosphere and the facilities there.

'There isn't a specific park in my mind' is slightly awkward but acceptable; main issues: 'visit in the parks' is incorrect preposition use—should be 'visit parks' or 'visit the parks' (Incorrect use of prepositions ID 11). 'the vibes' is informal; 'the atmosphere' is clearer (Incorrect use of adjectives/nouns ID 13). Also remove unnecessary 'those' and extra articles. Suggestions: drop 'in' after 'visit' and use 'parks in foreign countries' or 'the parks in foreign countries' depending on specificity; use 'atmosphere' instead of 'vibes'.