Parks— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Cải thiện: Tránh tiếng ồn (uh) và sửa ngữ pháp để câu trôi chảy hơn. Bắt đầu bằng một câu chủ đề rõ ràng, rồi cung cấp một hoặc hai chi tiết cụ thể về hoạt động bạn làm ở công viên. Sử dụng liên từ để nối các ý (for example, which helped). Giữ độ dài không quá 5 câu.

예시: Yes, I loved going to parks as a child because they were fun and good for my health. For example, I often rode my bike there with friends, which helped me get exercise and enjoy the fresh air. We also played games like tag and had picnics, so I have many happy memories of those visits.

제안: Cải thiện: Sửa lỗi từ vựng (box → parks) và ngữ pháp (many time → much time). Nói rõ tần suất và lý do ngắn gọn, dùng liên từ để nối ý. Tránh lặp từ và giữ câu ngắn gọn, tự nhiên.

예시: Yes, I still enjoy going to parks, but I don't have much time these days because of work. I usually visit a park once a week when I can, mainly to relax and get some fresh air.

제안: Cải thiện: Sửa cấu trúc ngữ pháp và dùng từ phù hợp (promote → promote , give people to bless → allow people to). Trình bày rõ lý do với ví dụ cụ thể và câu kết mạch lạc. Dùng liên từ (for example, which) đúng vị trí và tránh lỗi về số từ (three children? chỉ 'their children').

예시: Yes, I would. More parks would improve both physical and mental well-being by providing green space for exercise and relaxation. For example, families could take their children to the playground while adults exercise or simply unwind, which would help build a stronger sense of community.

제안: Cải thiện: Làm rõ tên công viên hoặc mô tả loại công viên bạn muốn đến; bỏ tiếng lắp (uh). Viết câu hoàn chỉnh, dùng lý do cụ thể (facilities, location) và liên từ để nối ý. Tránh lỗi ngữ pháp (help me improve healthy Cambridge sports → improve my health or play sports).

예시: Yes, there are several parks I'd like to visit. For instance, I want to visit a large riverside park that offers sports facilities and playgrounds because it would help me exercise and my children could relax and play. I think such a park would be perfect for weekend family outings.

× Whenever I was a child I loved going into the park because uh, it was fun and healthy.

✓ Whenever I was a child, I loved going to the park because it was fun and healthy.

The verb phrase 'going into the park' is not idiomatic here; use 'going to the park'. Add a comma after the introductory clause 'Whenever I was a child'. This improves naturalness and punctuation.

× I followed my bike there with my friends which are helped me get exercise and enjoy the fresh air.

✓ I rode my bike there with my friends, which helped me get exercise and enjoy the fresh air.

'Followed my bike' is incorrect; use 'rode my bike'. The relative clause should use past tense 'helped' to match 'I rode' (subject-verb agreement and tense consistency). Use a comma before 'which'.

× Yes, Now I still like going to box, but I don't have many time.

✓ Yes, now I still like going to the park, but I don't have much time.

Use lowercase 'now'. 'Going to box' is wrong — likely 'going to the park'. 'Many time' is incorrect; use 'much time' with uncountable 'time'.

× I don't have much time to go this.

✓ I don't have much time to go there.

Use the adverb 'there' to indicate place rather than 'this'. 'To go there' is the correct prepositional/adverbial phrase.

× Yes, I would I'd like to see more parks in my city because additional green space promote park physical and mental well-being and give people to bless to relax on weekends for example, families could bring their three children to playground while does exercise or simply unwind, which would help create a friendly.

✓ Yes, I'd like to see more parks in my city because additional green space would promote physical and mental well-being and give people places to relax on weekends. For example, families could bring their children to the playground while they exercise or simply unwind, which would help create a friendlier community.

Multiple issues: contract 'I would I'd' should be 'I'd'. Use 'would promote' to express hypothetical/beneficial effect (modal). 'Promote park physical' is incorrect word order — use 'promote physical and mental well-being'. 'Give people to bless to relax' is ungrammatical; use 'give people places to relax'. 'Three children' unnecessarily specific; 'their children' fits better. 'To playground' needs an article: 'to the playground'. Replace 'while does exercise' with 'while they exercise'. 'Friendly' as noun doesn't fit; 'friendlier community' completes the idea.

× Yes, they are, uh, I want to go to the park wake, help me improve healthy Cambridge sports and the children can relax.

✓ Yes. I want to go to a park that would help me improve my health through exercise and where the children can relax.

Original sentence has unclear fragments and wrong word forms: 'they are, uh' is filler and unnecessary. 'Park wake' is meaningless; likely 'park that would'. 'Improve healthy Cambridge sports' is incoherent; replace with 'improve my health through exercise'. Add 'where' to link the clause about children. Ensure consistent tense and clear structure.

× Of course adults can relax.

✓ Of course, adults can relax.

Add a comma after 'Of course' for correct punctuation and natural pause. The tense and wording are otherwise fine.